There was a big fuss about injecting in public shortly after I was diagnosed. An ex-nurse had written in to Balance magazine that she found it 'disgusting'
😱 A whole series of poems was begun...!
Starting with...
Nursing 101
‘You’ve been a nurse for some time now,
So, let’s put you to the test.
We’ll give you some scenarios,
And you say which one’s best.’
‘You’re in a busy restaurant
And see across the way
A person injecting insulin.
What do you think you’d say?’
‘Would you, (a) Think it’s disgusting,
And should be out of sight?
Or (b) Think ‘What’s the problem?
I think that that’s alright.’?’
‘My goodness! You are seething!
Your face and neck’s gone red!
I think you’d better lie down!
Can someone find a bed?!!’
‘And now you’re spitting feathers!
And you can hardly speak!
You’re going apoplectic!
You’re staring like a freak!’
‘What was that you just spluttered?
They should be in a cage?
Don’t think a nurse has ever shown
Such incandescent rage!’
‘Now, calm down dear, and listen.
I think this test is done,
And you have failed, without a doubt,
Your Nursing 101!’
😱
Followed by...
Disgusted nurse gets just desserts
More escapades in the life of the nurse who found the idea of people with diabetes injecting in restaurants abhorrent. Imagine if, one evening, she was in a restaurant that just happened to be filled with insulin-dependent diabetics…imagine her horror…!
The scene: Luigi’s restaurant in downtown Birkenhead,
Full of hungry diners all waiting to be fed,
And there, amongst their number, a very special guest,
The nurse who failed her 101 would face another test…
The customers chatted pleasantly, as wine was passed around,
Our nurse was unaware of how her evening would be crowned…
A secret nod, a knowing wink, would all ensure the plan
Co-ordinated smoothly by each woman and each man.
Spaghetti carbonara and lasagne were brought in,
And all at once was silence – you could have heard a pin!
The nurse’s ears pricked up to hear a host of tiny clicks
As a hundred insulin users prepared to take their fix…!
Airshot after airshot was squirted in the air,
Like tiny dancing fountains from each and every chair!
And then the men exposed the flesh that lay beneath their shirts,
The ladies smiled as they pulled down the waistband of their skirts!
The nurse just stared in horror as the needles all went in,
And pierced the fatty layers that lay beneath the skin!
Well, then she just exploded, it was more than she could stand!
And now she’s pushing daisies up in Nighty-night Nurse Land!
😱
And, of course, the age-old dilemma...
Farts versus Injections
There was a
story in Wigan Today recently about a customer in a pub restaurant complaining when a woman with Type 1 diabetes injected at her table just prior to eating her meal. He claimed that she had upset his children and likened the act to the same social unpleasantness as breaking wind in public. Rather than taking the opportunity to educate his children about the unfortunate need for some people to inject in order to stay alive, instead he no doubt instilled in them the same prejudices he himself displayed.
So, are farts in restaurants more acceptable than injections? Let’s see what transpired…
Excuse me, I’m sorry, I must ask you to leave,
For our customers are shocked and distressed,
And there’s been a complaint that you made someone faint,
And the management are far from impressed!
But what did I do? I’m innocent, I say!
I was just sat here eating my meal!
I’m embarrassed and hurt by the things you assert,
Have you no care for how I might feel?
If anyone should leave, then that woman over there
Just frightened my kids by injecting!
So disgusting and crude, alarming and rude,
It is her that you should be ejecting!
So, you claim that a lady who must do that to live,
In a restaurant is far less befitting
Than to lift up one cheek and let out a slow leak
Of the gases that you were emitting?
I admit that I trumped, but it wasn’t so loud,
I don’t see what there is to discuss!
What did I do wrong? It didn’t take long,
I don’t see why you’re making a fuss!
Sir, injections are fine just before you can dine,
But a fart is a toilet-based act!
It is far from discreet and puts folk off their meat,
So in future, remember that fact!
😱
I rest my case
😉
