Hello Big D family

[InkablueType1]

I'm Lisa and I've been Type 1 for 25 years. Plenty of ups and downs with a few added complications thrown in along they way.
Right now though I'm reaching out as I'm currently suffering from burn out which has triggered Diabetic depression.
I have been through alot past 25 years and class myself a very strong person but this has knocked me for 6 and finding myself feeling weak, useless, pathetic.
Anyone here know what I mean?

 

[Ljc]

Hello @InkablueType1 , welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear you are feeling so low.
It sounds as though you are having a really bad wobble atm. You’ve come to the right place to reach out, people here are kind and friendly, many here will understand what you are going through.
You are neither pathetic , weak or useless, it’s that horrible other D that is playing merry hell with you.
Do you feel able to talk to your team about how you are.

 

[InkablueType1]

Thank you for your welcome
I have spoken to my Diabetic team and though they have been supportive, due to cut backs in system I feel I'm just a number.
They have given me a diabetic councillor to talk to on phone but again there's a waiting list so I thought I'd come here.

 

[SB2015]

Hi Inkablue

Welcome and I am sorry that you are struggling with your Diabetes at present. From what I have seen this is not uncommon and it isn’t certainly not pathetic. It is definitely understandable. I continued for about 6 months without asking for help and pretended that I was fine. I am pleased that you have already asked for help.

You have come to a good place. Like you I experienced depression, and people on here as well as some professional help got me back on track. When I sought help on the NHS I found that there was an 11 month waiting list, but I stayed on the list and was glad of the help when I got it, although I had found a counsellor to work with in the mean time.

There is professional help available through the Diabetes UK careline on is 0345 123 2399. i have found them very helpful for immediate support.

I posted a thread on here which is titled Successful Strategies so far in dealing with depression and diabetes. This listed the strategies that I was taught as I worked with my counsellor. This should be the link below, but if it doesn’t work let me know and I will try to sort it out.
https://forum.diabetes.org.uk/board...n-dealing-with-depression-and-diabetes.66695/

One big thing that has stuck with me is that it is okay to feel annoyed, fed up and frustrated by all that we have to do every day in managing our condition. I stopped wasting a lot of energy of trying to fight that, accepted that it is time consuming and irritating and now and then I find a good rant is very useful.

Keep in touch there is plenty of help on here.

 

[Mikep73]

I'm Lisa and I've been Type 1 for 25 years. Plenty of ups and downs with a few added complications thrown in along they way.
Right now though I'm reaching out as I'm currently suffering from burn out which has triggered Diabetic depression.
I have been through alot past 25 years and class myself a very strong person but this has knocked me for 6 and finding myself feeling weak, useless, pathetic.
Anyone here know what I mean?

Hi Lisa

Welcome to the forums. You will find lots of useful information here and also some fun threads to hopefully take your mind off the big D.

I can personally relate to how you feel over the diabetic depression. I have suffered from it for a while now and do still have some low points but through seeing a specialist councillor I have been able to come to terms with being diabetic and get my life turned around.

A bit about me......i left school at 15 after my exams and went to work in a manual job with my dad's company as a stop gap till I was old enough to join the army which I did at 17. I served as a soldier till I was 20 (closer to 21) and got diagnosed type1. That ended my career as a soldier which was all I'd ever wanted to do. I struggled for quite a few years to get myself to take my diagnosis seriously as I wanted to believe it wasn't true. I abused my body with alcohol and recreational drugs to the point I was in and out of hospital pretty much every month for about a week. Even the birth of my kids didn't really stop my destructive behaviour. I came close to taking my own life a few times as my mood was so low and it wasn't till I moved diabetes teams that I got told about diabetic depression. When the dsn told me about it something clicked and I knew I had all of the symptoms and that I needed help. My dsn refered me to a diabetic specialist councillor to speak about what had happened to me a d how I felt. I found it helped me to get to the root of the problem and to get rid of my anger and resentment over diabetes. Due to not looking after myself I've got some complications but I'm ok with it as I know I can live a normal life even with my health as it is.

Please talk to your diabetes team and tell them how your really feeling so they can put some help in place for you. There is help out there.

If you ever feel the need to talk 1 to 1 then please pm me if you'd like.

Mike

 

[HOBIE]

I'm Lisa and I've been Type 1 for 25 years. Plenty of ups and downs with a few added complications thrown in along they way.
Right now though I'm reaching out as I'm currently suffering from burn out which has triggered Diabetic depression.
I have been through alot past 25 years and class myself a very strong person but this has knocked me for 6 and finding myself feeling weak, useless, pathetic.
Anyone here know what I mean?

Hello Inkablue. No mean feat 25years 🙂. Well done & welcome

 

[Matt Cycle]

Hi Lisa and welcome to the forum. 🙂 Sorry to hear you're feeling like this but the way you're feeling is not uncommon - diabetes burnout, diabetes depression - there a number of terms for it. Hopefully by posting on here you will realise support is available from people here who live with it and the support from the diabetic counsellor will come through soon as well.

 

[InkablueType1]

Hi Inkablue

Welcome and I am sorry that you are struggling with your Diabetes at present. From what I have seen this is not uncommon and it isn’t certainly not pathetic. It is definitely understandable. I continued for about 6 months without asking for help and pretended that I was fine. I am pleased that you have already asked for help.

You have come to a good place. Like you I experienced depression, and people on here as well as some professional help got me back on track. When I sought help on the NHS I found that there was an 11 month waiting list, but I stayed on the list and was glad of the help when I got it, although I had found a counsellor to work with in the mean time.

There is professional help available through the Diabetes UK careline on is 0345 123 2399. i have found them very helpful for immediate support.

I posted a thread on here which is titled Successful Strategies so far in dealing with depression and diabetes. This listed the strategies that I was taught as I worked with my counsellor. This should be the link below, but if it doesn’t work let me know and I will try to sort it out.
https://forum.diabetes.org.uk/board...n-dealing-with-depression-and-diabetes.66695/

One big thing that has stuck with me is that it is okay to feel annoyed, fed up and frustrated by all that we have to do every day in managing our condition. I stopped wasting a lot of energy of trying to fight that, accepted that it is time consuming and irritating and now and then I find a good rant is very useful.

Keep in touch there is plenty of help on here.

Thank you so much for your advice, helpline and link, much appreciated. I know this is not going to be fixed over night but knowing there is this help and people on this site who know how I'm feeling is giving hope. Thank you

 

[InkablueType1]

Hi Lisa

Welcome to the forums. You will find lots of useful information here and also some fun threads to hopefully take your mind off the big D.

I can personally relate to how you feel over the diabetic depression. I have suffered from it for a while now and do still have some low points but through seeing a specialist councillor I have been able to come to terms with being diabetic and get my life turned around.

A bit about me......i left school at 15 after my exams and went to work in a manual job with my dad's company as a stop gap till I was old enough to join the army which I did at 17. I served as a soldier till I was 20 (closer to 21) and got diagnosed type1. That ended my career as a soldier which was all I'd ever wanted to do. I struggled for quite a few years to get myself to take my diagnosis seriously as I wanted to believe it wasn't true. I abused my body with alcohol and recreational drugs to the point I was in and out of hospital pretty much every month for about a week. Even the birth of my kids didn't really stop my destructive behaviour. I came close to taking my own life a few times as my mood was so low and it wasn't till I moved diabetes teams that I got told about diabetic depression. When the dsn told me about it something clicked and I knew I had all of the symptoms and that I needed help. My dsn refered me to a diabetic specialist councillor to speak about what had happened to me a d how I felt. I found it helped me to get to the root of the problem and to get rid of my anger and resentment over diabetes. Due to not looking after myself I've got some complications but I'm ok with it as I know I can live a normal life even with my health as it is.

Please talk to your diabetes team and tell them how your really feeling so they can put some help in place for you. There is help out there.

If you ever feel the need to talk 1 to 1 then please pm me if you'd like.

Mike

Hello Mike and thank you for your support and sharing your story. I'm sorry to hear this all happened to you but so pleased you found that light and life became worth it again for you.
I myself had an awful time when I was 22 due to the insulin I was changed to didn't work for me. I lost my hair, muscle wastage in my legs which ment I couldn't walk, I had to learn to walk again. My kidneys leaked protein, i was 5 1/2 stone and developed 2 ulcers down to the bone on my legs. The hospital in the end said their was nothing else they could do for me and I was left to disappear. After this I seen a specialist diabetic councillor and she really did help me get back to myself after I got better. Like you I'm now left with complications which I just accept and live with.
Unfortunately alot has happened in my life not diabetic related which I feel I haven't dealt with properly and I feel my diabetes has suffered for this even though I'm actually a really good diabetic. The highs and lows, the tiredness, the mood swings etc just make life exhausting and I hate to say that as I'm a very strong person ( we all are who suffer) but I just feel so weak mind, body and soul right now and I hate it.
I appreciate the help that is out there that I didn't know about and the people on here who understand how I feel.
Many thanks

 

[InkablueType1]

Hello Inkablue. No mean feat 25years 🙂. Well done & welcome

Hello Hobie and thank you, it's been an up and down ride over the years but I'm still here and fighting like us all

 

[InkablueType1]

Hi Lisa and welcome to the forum. 🙂 Sorry to hear you're feeling like this but the way you're feeling is not uncommon - diabetes burnout, diabetes depression - there a number of terms for it. Hopefully by posting on here you will realise support is available from people here who live with it and the support from the diabetic counsellor will come through soon as well.

Hello Matt and thank you. I did not know how much support there is out there and the support on here from you all who know how I'm feeling. It gives me comfort and hope that I'm not on my own, which unfortunately I've mostly done in the past to deal with things. I realise now that everyone needs help and support and some point and I appreciate you all. Thank you

 

[Mikep73]

Hello Mike and thank you for your support and sharing your story. I'm sorry to hear this all happened to you but so pleased you found that light and life became worth it again for you.
I myself had an awful time when I was 22 due to the insulin I was changed to didn't work for me. I lost my hair, muscle wastage in my legs which ment I couldn't walk, I had to learn to walk again. My kidneys leaked protein, i was 5 1/2 stone and developed 2 ulcers down to the bone on my legs. The hospital in the end said their was nothing else they could do for me and I was left to disappear. After this I seen a specialist diabetic councillor and she really did help me get back to myself after I got better. Like you I'm now left with complications which I just accept and live with.
Unfortunately alot has happened in my life not diabetic related which I feel I haven't dealt with properly and I feel my diabetes has suffered for this even though I'm actually a really good diabetic. The highs and lows, the tiredness, the mood swings etc just make life exhausting and I hate to say that as I'm a very strong person ( we all are who suffer) but I just feel so weak mind, body and soul right now and I hate it.
I appreciate the help that is out there that I didn't know about and the people on here who understand how I feel.
Many thanks

I to know how things unrelated to diabetes can affect us. My wife and I are currently on a trial separation which means I'm away from my 3 kids and the only woman who has meant the world to me but for a long time I didn't love myself so I couldn't love anyone else the way I should have. This caused a lot of problems in my marriage to the point where now even though I'm doing so much better my wife doesn't trust I will stick to looking after myself. I can't blame her as I've done this I the past and been good for a couple of weeks or maybe a couple of months but always slipped back into old habits of not looking after myself. Now the trust has gone between us she feels this is the best for us right now and I can't blame her for that because I am the root cause of it. So now I'm more determined than ever to not only stay on the straight and narrow to stay healthy but to also regain my wife's trust wether or not this helps us get back together is irrelevant. It's more about just being friends with her again as we were before we started dating and to also be a positive role model for my 3 kids.

Please don't be scared to ask about anything at all as I have found the people here are so friendly and supportive in the short time I have been on here.

Mike

 

[InkablueType1]

I to know how things unrelated to diabetes can affect us. My wife and I are currently on a trial separation which means I'm away from my 3 kids and the only woman who has meant the world to me but for a long time I didn't love myself so I couldn't love anyone else the way I should have. This caused a lot of problems in my marriage to the point where now even though I'm doing so much better my wife doesn't trust I will stick to looking after myself. I can't blame her as I've done this I the past and been good for a couple of weeks or maybe a couple of months but always slipped back into old habits of not looking after myself. Now the trust has gone between us she feels this is the best for us right now and I can't blame her for that because I am the root cause of it. So now I'm more determined than ever to not only stay on the straight and narrow to stay healthy but to also regain my wife's trust wether or not this helps us get back together is irrelevant. It's more about just being friends with her again as we were before we started dating and to also be a positive role model for my 3 kids.

Please don't be scared to ask about anything at all as I have found the people here are so friendly and supportive in the short time I have been on here.

Mike

It is amazing how not looking after yourself even for a little while can cause eruption in our relationships with others.
I see alot of diabetic quotes saying " I'm sorry for what I said when I was high or low"
Or " the smallest things when I'm high or low make me angry"
These are not only things we have to deal with but also what our loved ones have to deal with, which I'm sure can be a huge negative and strain.
So then not only do we have to deal with our emotions and struggle when this happens we also have to feel the guilt and frustration we cause. It's a nightmare circle which I personally find hard.
Not everyone is understanding as at the end of the day we are all only human I guess.

You stay on that straight path and look after yourself. Like you say getting trust back is the most important thing and improving your health means your be here longer for your kids and believe me after loosing a parent young myself is a hard enough struggle on its own.

Such a friendly understanding site, I'm so happy I joined

 

[Mikep73]

It is amazing how not looking after yourself even for a little while can cause eruption in our relationships with others.
I see alot of diabetic quotes saying " I'm sorry for what I said when I was high or low"
Or " the smallest things when I'm high or low make me angry"
These are not only things we have to deal with but also what our loved ones have to deal with, which I'm sure can be a huge negative and strain.
So then not only do we have to deal with our emotions and struggle when this happens we also have to feel the guilt and frustration we cause. It's a nightmare circle which I personally find hard.
Not everyone is understanding as at the end of the day we are all only human I guess.

You stay on that straight path and look after yourself. Like you say getting trust back is the most important thing and improving your health means your be here longer for your kids and believe me after loosing a parent young myself is a hard enough struggle on its own.

Such a friendly understanding site, I'm so happy I joined

I understand that the people around me were trying to help but like you said it just seemed to get on my nerves. It seemed like constant nagging and It drove me mad but now I've accepted that my diabetes is for life I don't see it like that now.

Mike

 

[Flower]

Hello @InkablueType1 and welcome. glad you've found us 🙂 I'm sorry you are feeling low at present but as others have said it is not uncommon with a chronic condition that just doesn't give us a rest.

It can be a tough job dealing with the challenges and monotony of diabetes whilst juggling life as well. The last thing you are is pathetic and useless, you've got through 25 years of T1 and that is something to be proud of. 🙂

The best help and support I've had is from this forum. I lurked around for a while then thought I need to join in with this group who just 'get' diabetes . I hope you'll find the forum as helpful.

Best Wishes, I hope things start too improve for you 🙂

 

[InkablueType1]

Hello @InkablueType1 and welcome. glad you've found us 🙂 I'm sorry you are feeling low at present but as others have said it is not uncommon with a chronic condition that just doesn't give us a rest.

It can be a tough job dealing with the challenges and monotony of diabetes whilst juggling life as well. The last thing you are is pathetic and useless, you've got through 25 years of T1 and that is something to be proud of. 🙂

The best help and support I've had is from this forum. I lurked around for a while then thought I need to join in with this group who just 'get' diabetes . I hope you'll find the forum as helpful.

Best Wishes, I hope things start too improve for you 🙂

Thank you Flower. Your right dealing with the challenges and juggling normal life and the ups and downs that brings just makes me want to run away.
I've had Diabetic depression before but I was very ill then and basically told there was nothing that could be done and I was dying. Luckily though after seeing a herbalist as a last resort and after quite a few months of his treatment, my results started to improve and eventually got better. I'm left with complications but I'm ok. Obviously I had depression all through this and had help after but I'm just finding it hard now without something major happening to me, why I feel this way. I have good and bad days, everyone does but all I can think off that it's a build up of alot of things that's happened in my life since loosing my mum and the challenges that diabetes brings has all just clashed and now I feel I'm just hanging. I haven't eaten hardly anything in 3wks I just feel sick when I do but my sugars are running ok though I know this is not good and I am talking with my team.
Thank you for your support and I appreciate this forum 🙂