any HR people on here

[bev]

Bev I'm so pleased you returned to this thread with happy news x good luck to your daughter

Hi Steph,

So am I! It could have turned out quite different so really happy to be reporting back with good news. I doubt people who bully give their victim a second thought do they.🙂Bev

 

[yorksman]

If the bully has been sent for retraining, that will most likely put a stop to it. Bullies continue to bully until there is some sort of intervention, even if they are just interviewed about it. Nearly all bullies suffer from a lack of self esteem and bullying the weak is a way that they can make themselves feel better about themselves. As soon as someone stands up to them, they back off. Your daughter may even find that the bully keeps his/her distance as they won't like to be reminded of, in this case, your daughter's challenge. Bullies hardly ever go in for 'revenge'. They just find someone else to bully.

 

[bev]

If the bully has been sent for retraining, that will most likely put a stop to it. Bullies continue to bully until there is some sort of intervention, even if they are just interviewed about it. Nearly all bullies suffer from a lack of self esteem and bullying the weak is a way that they can make themselves feel better about themselves. As soon as someone stands up to them, they back off. Your daughter may even find that the bully keeps his/her distance as they won't like to be reminded of, in this case, your daughter's challenge. Bullies hardly ever go in for 'revenge'. They just find someone else to bully.

Hi Yorksman,

The bully carried on with her behaviour for a few months after the training as my daughter was friendly with someone who worked with her. However - then she got pregnant and seemed to stop the bullying - so no idea whether it was the training or whether she just had something else to focus on that stopped it - but either way hopefully she has learnt something and might think twice before embarking on traumatising someone else in future.🙂I agree that bullies have low self-esteem and often have been bullied themselves - but I dont agree that the victim's are 'weak' - on the contrary I believe the bully feels threatened by them because they are often laid-back and popular people and perhaps the bully is jealous of their status within a group. Certainly my daughter couldnt be described as weak in any sense of the word - she is laid-back and easy-going and rarely shows anger but she also wont be taken advantage of - which shows strength of character in my view. I suspect this is the first time anyone had challenged the bully's behaviour and was probably a huge shock to her system!Bev

 

[yorksman]

Yes, I could have worded it better, perceived by the bully to be weak perhaps. At least, someone who won't react much. Many people don't just out of politeness. Yes, it is a major shock when the target suddenly decides that the bully has gone too far.

 

[bev]

Yes, I could have worded it better, perceived by the bully to be weak perhaps. At least, someone who won't react much. Many people don't just out of politeness. Yes, it is a major shock when the target suddenly decides that the bully has gone too far.

Hi Yorksman,

I was probably being a little over-sensitive sorry! I think I just felt a little over-protective of daughter! I also feel its the bully who is weak - probably like you say its low self-esteem and maybe jealousy - who knows!🙂Bev