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How humiliating !!!

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Darren w

Darren w

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
I went to see dio nurse because I am ashamed of my loss of wieght ... I've been so worried about being so skinny and she was telling me they will give me 900 calories a day in fortisips ... When she weight me she told me my BMI was in normal range ... I said how the hell is this normal I'm like a stick .! Frustrated and very insolently I took my trousers down ( not showing anything but my legs by the way ) pointed at my thighs and screamed does this look normal too you ? !!!, she just started laughting and apologised for being unprofessional ...for some reason thought I took it lightly but I havnt !!!! Last night I considered killing myself because I feel there is no way out ... And if someone that is Supost to show a duty of care carnt do any thing other than make me feel even worse . Then what is left ???? Heartlands hospital Birmingham . Dio nurse v !!!
 
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That's awful. Very unprofessional.

You say about your weight loss. How much have you lost over what sort of period of time? I had a look back on your old posts and see they seem confused over your type of diabetes.

My son lost a dramatic amount of weight before his T1 diagnosis (he was very overweight before diagnosis) and it was shocking to see his chest and thighs in particular, so I can relate to how distressing this is.

I just wonder if they are not treating you correctly. Could you be T1 and not T2? Assume you are still taking the metformin? Not that I am too sure what that is meant to do but wondering if that is passing your food too quickly through your system? Do you test your blood glucose regularly and if so, what sort of readings do you get? If they are constantly very high, you will be burning off what you are eating at the detriment of your weight. Can you test for ketones too? That would show if your body is misusing the calories you take in.

You see I would simply suggest you eat more, but of course that isn't always a good idea for someone with diabetes, especially if it's type 2. I had a friend who had a very underweight toddler, just a fussy eater but weight was seriously low according to health visitor charts so the health visitor got on her back. She was told to do subtle things like add butter to mashed potatoes or even a drop of double cream, spread butter more thickly on bread/toast, have puddings and custard regularly, etc, etc, but of course all these things add more fat to your diet. Good for gaining weight maybe, but not good for the arteries in an adult! Nibble on nuts maybe? They will help put weight on.

Could you ask your DSN to refer you to a dietician? Phone her and say how much it is distressing you and can she ask the team's dietician to make contact with you.

I totally agree though, her reaction to you was totally unprofessional. That will have just compounded your problem.

Good luck, I do hope you get some answers.

Tina
 
Laughing isn't acceptable, but sometimes people just can't help it, but omitting an apology to someone who was upset is inexcusable.

First of all, check your BMI calculation is correct. The normal range for adults is 18.5 - 25. Many people think it's 20 - 25, because other categrories go up in 5 unit blocks. Because height is squared, if it's wrong, particularly if too high, then it's easy to falsely calulate a BMI lower than reality. So, insist on having your height measured properly - no socks or shoes, measure attached to wall, someone else observing you from side, so that angle of head is correct - most people look upwards, whereas if they look straight ahead they actually gain approx 1cm in height.

However, that's not really the problem - you are unhappy with your low weight. It is also ignores the rate of weight loss, which any health professional should take seriously - I'm not quite clear how fast you are losing weight, and how this correlates with your changes in treatment / diet / exercise? Particularly as there is some confusion about what type of diabetes you have, I suggest you make an appointment to see your GP and explain your concern over weight loss.

Tina is right about ways to increase calorie intake with normal food - we did similar with my grandad when he had cancer of oesophagus and could only swallow pureed food. In the end, the hospice couldn't believe how well nourished he was without supplements - all down to nursing care / knowledge by his daughter in law and one of his grandchildren. Not that I'm suggesting you have cancer of oesophagus, of course. I suspect the underlying issue may be that you haven't yet been properly diagnosed and thus aren't yet on the right treatment.

Especially in times when regular healthcare services are closed, then you might find it helpful to phone Samaritans, because they're always on the end of the line - see http://www.samaritans.org/ 08457 90 90 90 or email jo@samaritans.org

Hope you can make some progress today towards getting more help and support - you deserve it
 
Really sorry to hear about your experience D. You could consider contacting PALS to make a complaint

Hope you get a clear Dx too - if you are on the wrong treatment you may not be able to metabolise the food you are eating effectively.
 
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That is terrible, I think you should write to her manager and complain. At the very least she needs re training.

The whole issue around weight loss and gain is very emotive. If you were over weight for a long time and have gone down to youe ideal weight you will feel thin for a while. Get the calculations checked and work it out from there. From my own personal experience (and we are all different) when I notice I have lost some more weight I feel thin for a while as I get used to the new weight.

When a nurse worked it out for me she said BMI is not an ideal guide. Someone like a weight lifter or body builder would have the same BMI as someone who carries a few too many lbs but is not overweight, it is solid muscle.

I hope you feel better.
 
Daren I am sorry to hear about how unprofessional the nurse was. If you are having feelings of self harm please seek help and speak to your GP
good luck
x
 
Hi Darren,

Really sorry to hear of your unpleasant experience with this nurse. It sounds as though you were feeling down about yourself even before her unhelpful input - please don't struggle on alone if you think you may be becoming depressed. Do see your GP - make a list of your concerns, including your fast weight loss (could be many reasons for this, e.g. Possibly you are type 1, possible overactive thyroid, etc.). Don't allow one thoughtless person to put you off! Hope you get some proper support soon 🙂
 
Hi Darren,

So sorry to hear of a bad experience on an already distressing situation. If I were you I'd try and contact PALS. If you are feeling depressed please make an appointment to see your GP. Do you test your BG levels? I am like a completely different person and sink into depression when my BGs are anything over 15, so it could be that you are actually type 1 as Tina said and that you are running so high it is making you feel even worse. I was diagnosed when I was 12 and was so skinny that everyone thought I was anorexic, but once I was on insulin and had my diabetes better controlled I put weight back on.

Good luck with everything, and big hugs!

xx
 
Hi Darren

Can't add much more to everybody's good advice but just to say I hope you get things sorted soon. Life can be so good and don't let one moron make you think differently 🙂
 
Agreeing with everyone

I agree with what the others are saying about checking your diagnosis. The weight loss sounds much more like T1 than T2. We have recently had issues a bit the other way with the same hospital (my daughter is a T1 child) and I ended up going to see my GP and formally writing to complain.
 
That isn't acceptable treatment at all. I am under heartlands myself and had a little bit of poor treatment myself at the start but have to aay it has been exceptional for the last couoke of years. I attend the good hope hospital site though so maybe different.
If you fancy meeting up for a pint and a good old moan at any time dont be affraid to ask I am local and love to meet new people. We also on this sit have regular meets with the birmingham meet happening in the not to distant future. I am sure somebody will remknd me of the date.

Keep your chin up.
 
ypauly said:
That isn't acceptable treatment at all. I am under heartlands myself and had a little bit of poor treatment myself at the start but have to aay it has been exceptional for the last couoke of years. I attend the good hope hospital site though so maybe different.
If you fancy meeting up for a pint and a good old moan at any time dont be affraid to ask I am local and love to meet new people. We also on this sit have regular meets with the birmingham meet happening in the not to distant future. I am sure somebody will remknd me of the date.

Keep your chin up.
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Thankyou Paul ill message you my number and we can have a chat .
 
A game of bowls and a pint has been arranged
drink.gif
Though if the weather is like this we may have to play snooker lol:D
 
ypauly said:
A game of bowls and a pint has been arranged
drink.gif
Though if the weather is like this we may have to play snooker lol:D
Click to expand...

Good to hear Paul - Darren, Paul is a top bloke and I'm sure you will enjoy meeting him 🙂
 
Northerner said:
Good to hear Paul - Darren, Paul is a top bloke and I'm sure you will enjoy meeting him 🙂
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Thanks alan, i'll remind you of that during my next political rant lol:D

Darren sounds like a great bloke himself, we had a good chat and put most of the world right lol.
 
Ypauly a great guy why wasn't I told this haha
 
I spoke to Paul earlier and had a good hour long chat , told him a few things that have been on my mind and he has made me feel more comfortable about my condition now ,, I think we will become very good friends . Maybe now I will come out of the introverted shell I have been hiding in since I first got ill ... Thanks Paul and I'm really looking forward to our game of bowls or snooker lol . Might just bring my darts you never now , lol see ya Wednesday pal and thanks again
 
I don't yet know how to answer to certain messages on here yet , I only know how to stick one here on the bottom think ill ask Paul to teach me Wednesday lol ,, this is in response to the BMi question ,, the dietishen said my bmi was in range witch I think is ridiculous knowing how thin I am , I will give you a idea I would like you to try , if you put your middle fingers and thumbs together , that is the size of my thighs .... Then you may understand why I feel so skinny ..
 
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