Parent of Teenager in need of Help!!

[Twitchy]

Hi Chrissie,

I hope this doesn't sound patronising, but what a brave & honest post - thank-you for being so open about the consequences of your decisions. I was diagnosed at 11 months old (in '79, so similar to you!) and could totally relate to your experience of being 'the freaky child' in primary school...I'm hoping things are more subtle / inclusive these days - I guess not having to eat snacks am/pm in front of the rest of the class would help! (good ole 2 jabs eh?! 🙄).

Anyway, rambling...just wanted to say hi & thanks - I hope Sharron's daughter can take good inspiration from your experience. Xx

 

[StephenM]

Hi,

I did not find primary school to bad. It was a small school with only one class per year and I now realise far more diabetics that average (four in 150 kids). When I went to senior school I did feel a freak as I was the only diabetic in 600+ kids. It was quite grim at times as the staff did not understand either ? the games master thought I ate extra before because I was a greedy bar steward! He was an ex-army moron! Fortunately I left at 16 to go to a College of FE as they did the A level options I wanted to do. I never told anyone about my diabetes (not a clever thing in retrospect). I got a motorcycle whilst I was there. The licence was easy as the then BDA me to reply ?No but I am a diabetic on insulin? to one of the heath questions. Insurance was trickier but that did make me want to have reasonable control of my diabetes as the bike gave me freedom! Also the amputees and those with serious eye problems at the clinic were scary. I did mention it when I went to university but in general it was not too much of a problem. Yes there were student parties but in general the students and staff seemed to understand much more than they had when I was at school. A bit of a ramble really but what I wanted to say in summary is the teenage years are hard but the desire to drive and the fear of complications are great motivators!

Stephen

 

[Tina63]

I think my son now realises a licence won't be easy to come by with his non-compliance, so has now said he is in no hurry to apply for a licence. He keeps flirting with the idea as more and more of his social circle are passing their tests, but then as they seem happy to come and pick him up, he doesn't feel the need. Shame really, as I had hoped that would be the big swayer for him.

 

[Chrissy232]

Hi Twitchy
No your comment is not at all patronising if anything good to hear that people can relate to my experiences.
I just hope that Sharron's daughter can relate to our experiences and change her ways before it's too late.
I've had plenty of arguments with doctors trying to tell them that I don't want to be controlled by this condition and when they say i need to go onto 4 injections a day to sort it I refuse because that is controlling everything I do and when I do it, had a bad experience when I was pregnant too on the 4 injections a day, it's just a cheaper way of doing things compared to back in the day.
Things are alot more subtle now days as more people have it, still slightly embarrassing if I have a hypo at work as I work in a pub, but one of my customers had a hypo the other day and as I had a diabetic glucose drink that my mum gave me in my bag i whipped it out gave it to him and he was most greatful. His friend bought me a drink and couldn't thank me enough.
There's no point trying to lie about things because it doesn't get you anywhere just causes problems.
I noticed you're on the pump please tell me what you had to do to get I really want but they just won't consider me?

 

[Twitchy]

Hiya 🙂 Are you back on two jabs then? I think a lot of people have horrible hypos when preg whatever regime they're on, as it's hard to predict the hornone swings or when the baby (aka as beloved parasite lol) is going to be greedy too...I found 5+ jabs a day the best I could get for control pre pump - that was split detemir & quick acting for meals & snacks, but I got a pump because of dawn phenomenon - basically my sugar levels soared overnight no matter what tricks i tried (raising background = hypos, protein snack before bed etc made no difference) & I was told only a pump can deal effectively with this. Went from waking up regularly in high teens - 20+ if i didnt correct with qa in the early hours to now seeing around 5mmol regularly - WOW!!!!

Have you discussed pumps & the criteria with your doc? It's not as simple as HbA1c as mine was ok, but only cos i was up at 3am almost every day for a correction jab! 😱 . Best of luck...

 

[tiggerpoo]

having the same trouble!

hi all, i am also new to this site an have a 11yr old daughter who was diagnosed when she was 9. i fight with her all the time to test an take insulin. she also has another medical condition which can effect her diabetes. i am struggling with everything at the min as she is so poorly. also the doctors think that the two conditions are connected to cf but they keep saying they are gona test but no one has done anything about it yet its so anouying. anyone else help cos i feel like i am losing the plot xx

 

[grainger]

Hi all,
I've not had diabetes very long (nearly my one year anniversary in Nov) but I just wanted to say that I (at the age of 30) have found that there are times when I want to pretend I don't have diabetes, wish that I could just pinch a doughnut or bag at crisps at work and not worry and be like everyone else so I can only imagine how difficult it would be for a teenager - because let's face it you just want to be with your friends and have fun.
I don't really have any advice to give, I guess I'd just say try to be patient, hormones of teenage years combined with diabetes must be insanely tough.
I also wanted to say I think all parents of children with diabetes must be some of the strongest people on here - it's hard enough having diabetes sometimes, let alone watching the people you love doing the wrong things knowing that you can't force them.
As I said, I don't have advice but just hoping that things get easier for you all x

 

[Hanmillmum]

hi all, i am also new to this site an have a 11yr old daughter who was diagnosed when she was 9. i fight with her all the time to test an take insulin. she also has another medical condition which can effect her diabetes. i am struggling with everything at the min as she is so poorly. also the doctors think that the two conditions are connected to cf but they keep saying they are gona test but no one has done anything about it yet its so anouying. anyone else help cos i feel like i am losing the plot xx

Welcome to the site Tiggerpoo! 🙂🙂

Sorry to hear your daughter is dealing with a few medical conditions (one is more than enough!). Pin the docs down to a date for testing for cf, you have to be assertive as they do have tendancy to put off. Regarding taking insulin is she injecting or on a pump ?

Sorry should have put that on your intro thread - oops

 

[amzyjamzy]

To sharon....

hi, im also new to this site, ive been type1 diabetic for 13 years no - wow seems so long!, i was diagnosed in my teens too!.
What helped me to deal with my diabetes and to accept that i had to do things differently from others etc was some of the following but also to see others with diabetes, steve redgrave! to see what hes done etc
I think your daughter needs to be clearly told exactly what shes risking by not doing her insulin this may be best by her diabetic nurse?, i would conecntrate on this fact first.
I never did my bms yes really bad but i am still alive!. maybe just get her to do one before bed?
I always did my insulin so i cant comment on that problem you mentioned it just made me feel awful without it.
To tell your daughter your angry with her because your tired and need to go to work i think would be a disaster as i would just do it more, you are going to have 2am morning wakeups my mum went through hell when i was on my old regime of insulin and had many night time ambulance calls and visiting hospital!.

What helped me also was me taking charge of my diabetes, it is my diabetes and noone elses,
Im not sure it is a good idea telling her straight how it is affecting your life, i think youd just make it worse.
It is hard but diabetes is never a walk in the park, and the doctors arent always right!,.
If my mum hadnt believed me that i wasnt stealing from the biscuit tin in the middle of the night (as said by my consultant at the time), if mum hadnt beleived me that i wasnt doing this i would have gone off the rails.
maybe chats in the car etc would be a good idea?, not full on converstaions just general chats make diabetes normal not to be hidden or not to be spoken about but also dont make it too 'medical' for example keep it cool just chit chats here and there nothing major. And a huge thing!... make it a good thing to have diabetes!!!, noone will tell you this is a good idea i understand that but from my point of view it really helped me thinking that im actually lucky to have diabetes.
for example becuase i knew about my diabetes i was able to help a guy that was having a hypo at a parade i was on! made me feel great that all the people wer running around panicking but i was actually able to help him.
I hope ive helped and i hope i havent caused offence, just how it all helped me!.

 

[Howard DJ Dutton]

Hello Sharon

Hi Sharon and your daughter,
Your Daughter and other children and Teenagers, also young adults i would love to try and help.
I too had type 1 Diabetes for almost 21yrs, until 2011 when i recieved a kidney and pancreas transplant, this was all due to poor control of my diabetes.
Diabetes in my family is very strong, and i also lost my sister aged 43 to diabetes and kidney failure.
I can truly appreciate what your daughter is going through, and now can see how difficult this is also for you too as parents being a parent myself.
I had everyone on my back, Parents, Nurses , Friends and Doctors but no one got through to me, everything they all said came true, from lnerve damage, loss of sight, kidney failure and much more, with numerous times in hospital for everything you can imagine, till finally after recieving Dialysis and then a transplant to help me.
This is my second chance of life,and hoping from my and many others experiences to help people, such as your daughter.
The shocking fact of reality for me wasi was going to die probably alot younger than most, this i know realise what a fool i have been, but am now looking for the positive side3amd looking forward. Nothing for me can change the past no matter how much all of us want to turn back the clock.
The damage has been done, and thanks to my brave donow famly who donated the organs, when they lost someone just aged 22.
If i can help by even talking to your daughter im more than willing, please feel free to get intouch or you can chat to me or your daughter.
If anyone else who is reading this also would like to contact me please feel free.
Next year i plan to do a parachute jump in aid of diabetes uk and kidney research, i owe them both so much.
Keep your chin up, there is help and hopefully with everyones help your daughter will listen and start to look after her health.
Kind Regards Howard
(sorry for spelling mistakes and bad english)

(you can contact Howard via private message if you wish - Admin)

 

[Copepod]

Welcome to the forums, amzyjamzy and Howard DJ Dutton.

Please feel free to introduce yourselves in Newbies section, if you like, and continue to post wherever you consider appropriate. 🙂

 

[mumstheword]

Hello,
I'm new to this site, my daughter was diagnosed with type 1 aged 10 she is now 16. Her control is terrible (has been for about 2 yrs) and she has just come out of hospital after ketosis.

Are there any parents there who have been through this stage, she wont test and forgets her insulin. If I ask her to do a test/insulin she sometimes lies or just wont do it, and often shes with friends or I'm at work so I'm not aware of whats going on. When I spend my evenings running her to dr.s or at hospital until 2am and have to work the next day, Im just getting angry.

What do I do? Any GOOD advice - please.

Hi there, This is exactly what happened with my daughter at the same age (6 years ago). I can appreciate that it is very frustrating for you. This is not something a parent can do on their own, to try and get a teenager to behave 'sensibly'! Have you tried enlisting the support of your daughter's DSN or family GP or perhaps a close friend or relative? Kids often see mum as the 'enemy' so you need to get a trusted adult on your side who your daughter will also trust, listen and chat to. Sometimes taking a step back is needed to give her time to get her head around what has happened. She is struggling with having this burden of testing and injecting. It's awful for you but it is doubly horrible for her. This can help take the pressure off you so you can get your anger in perspective but still be reassured that she is OK.

I know it would be easier if only she would do as she was told but how many teenagers do that? You can't 'put an old head on young shoulders'. Hopefully she will have learned something from this recent experience. Let her know you want to trust her to be more independent and in control but she has to prove she can do this. Also remind her how much you love her (even if she is being a nightmare).

My daughter & I came to an agreement that she would self-manage her diabetes on a day to day basis but we would review her results every weekend to make sure she was on-track. This worked reasonably well. I can't pretend that I was always happy with the way she chose to self-manage but her DSN was excellent.

I am afraid it can be a real roller-coaster sometimes but she needs you to hang on with her while she grows up. I do not know if your daughter would want to speak with anyone going through the same thing as her (mine didn't) but Diabetes UK do have a Peer Support Scheme. Also is there a patient education scheme in your aree for Type 1 patients? My daughter went on a DAFNE course after much persuasion from her DSN and this really helped her.

Best wishes from Mums the Word

 

[Copepod]

Welcome to the forum, Mums the Word.

Please feel free to introduce yourself in the Newbies section, if you like. Of course you're also very welcome to read / post etc wherever you like.

 

[fencesitter]

My daughter & I came to an agreement that she would self-manage her diabetes on a day to day basis but we would review her results every weekend to make sure she was on-track. This worked reasonably well.

I just wanted to say that this is what I do with my son. I pretty much leave him alone on a day to day basis he manages his diabetes as he sees fit (again, not always as I would like such as not testing enough, but I do tend to bite my tongue). Then on Fridays I download his meter data and have a chat about anything that looks tricky. Helps take the heat off specific situations but you can still address them in a calm way - eg. you only tested twice last Wednesday; any reason for that? Do you know why you had that big hypo, could you avoid it happening next time etc etc. It does seem to work on the whole. He has his annual review next week so we'll see what the consultant thinks. He gave William a bit of a ticking off last time for not testing enough, and I do think the situation has improved now.

 

[Bright spark]

Hi Sharon
I've been diabetic since the age of 10 (32 years ago now) and was just like you daughter when I was her age. I did anything possible to rebel against it and know I put my poor mum through hell. I really don't believe any one could have said anything that would have change my mind about what I was doing, I just didn't want to be different to everyone else. I work with teenagers and they are all the same!! Try to be calm with your daughter and support her, try talking to her and listen to how she is feeling about it. My 15 year old daughter's best friend is diabetic and we chat all the time and test our blood and do our injections together, it is about understanding rather than telling her what to do (believe me I know how hard that is with 2 teenage daughters myself!!). I wish I had the answer for you, if I did I would bottle it and sell it!! I changed when I nearly lost my sight when my daughter was 3 weeks old, and believe you me that was such a wake up call that I needed and I have never looked back. I was lucky because after 2 years of lazer treatment to the heamorages at the back of my eyes I can see my 2 girls. Good luck. Bright spark

 

[Hemelgirl]

Parent of a Teenager in need of Help!!

Hi - my first post too on World Diabetes Day 2012 - new to this site so hope I get it right. My daughter was also diagnosed at age 10 - now 14. Its not easy even without diabetes to think about. Not sure how much support you get from your hospital team - do they have any psychologists that she could talk to as part of her team - it may be that the whole family could talk together with them- it does affect the whole family - don't we all know it. Also my daughter is on an insulin pump and we find that makes things a lot better for a teen than injections, not saying she remembers 100% of the time but it is attached to her all the time and she doesn't have to inject each time she eats just press a button. The pump has been great for my daughter in her teens. I would strongly recommend you register on the children with diabetes UK mailing lists. Lots of us stressed out parents of type 1 teens on there that can offer support. We also meet up with local parents that we meet on the list and it is great for the teens too to feel normal testing and injecting/pumping, think this has helped my daughter a lot with managing her type 1.

 

[Northerner]

Hi - my first post too on World Diabetes Day 2012 - new to this site so hope I get it right. My daughter was also diagnosed at age 10 - now 14. Its not easy even without diabetes to think about. Not sure how much support you get from your hospital team - do they have any psychologists that she could talk to as part of her team - it may be that the whole family could talk together with them- it does affect the whole family - don't we all know it. Also my daughter is on an insulin pump and we find that makes things a lot better for a teen than injections, not saying she remembers 100% of the time but it is attached to her all the time and she doesn't have to inject each time she eats just press a button. The pump has been great for my daughter in her teens. I would strongly recommend you register on the children with diabetes UK mailing lists. Lots of us stressed out parents of type 1 teens on there that can offer support. We also meet up with local parents that we meet on the list and it is great for the teens too to feel normal testing and injecting/pumping, think this has helped my daughter a lot with managing her type 1.

Hi Hemelgirl, welcome to the forum 🙂

 

[HOBIE]

Hi good what "Bright Spark" said. Kids ! whoed ev em. I know i have put my family through the mill. I have been T1 for 46yrs(3) & i dont think there is a perfect answer. You have come to the right place for support etc. Hang in there 🙂

 

[Ruth Wilson]

Hi,

Thought I'd let you know, Diabetes UK runs a Peer Support service where you can talk to people living with diabetes, including other parents. It's 1-to-1 by phone or email. You can phone 0843 353 8600, or email through the website at http://www.diabetes.org.uk/How_we_help/Peer-support .

Donna is a parent to a teenager, and there are young adults living with type 1 (e.g. Lucy) who might good for your children to to have a chat with.

The volunteers are trained and it's confidential, so it's a good place for a rant as well as sharing thoughts and experiences.

Best wishes.