Hi Tina, I went through all of this with my son, hes now nearly 23 and on the whole I feel like Ive been through that tunnel and come out of the other side. What a nightmare though! My son very rarely used to test at that stage, and after a horrendous night hypo which landed him in A & E I struck a deal , that if he never tested at any other time, would he please please test before he went to bed, this gave me some peace of mind that we would get through the night safely. I tried everything, and I know everyone has told you the answer is to back off, but when the consequences are as serious as they can be (my son had seizures and DKA) I kept on plugging away, in the end it has worked out ok for me. He obviously took it in somewhere along the line, and we have reached a stage where he pretty much does everything hes supposed to do. He is a normal well adjusted lad, who works and goes out with his mates (one of whom is a type 1) You have to do what you think is right. Good luck with everything.
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- Thread starter Tina63
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MeanMom
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Parent of person with diabetes
Hi Tina
Glad it went quite well, though that regime sounds very complicated to me!
Can I ask if your son has been offered counselling? He sounds like he is having similar problems to my daughter, the difference being that she deals with her diabetes at the expense of her friendships whilst your son does the opposite. K has been seeing the councellor at her clinic for over a year now and it has helped her. Due to a few issues that affected her confidence earlier this year she also see's the school councellor, and I have asked to be referred to CAMHS, which is 'pending'.
IMHO your son would benefit from being able to talk to someone outside the family because this problem is unlikely to go away by itself.I hope things go well over Christmas - try and have a break yourself, you deserve it🙂
Xx
Glad it went quite well, though that regime sounds very complicated to me!
Can I ask if your son has been offered counselling? He sounds like he is having similar problems to my daughter, the difference being that she deals with her diabetes at the expense of her friendships whilst your son does the opposite. K has been seeing the councellor at her clinic for over a year now and it has helped her. Due to a few issues that affected her confidence earlier this year she also see's the school councellor, and I have asked to be referred to CAMHS, which is 'pending'.
IMHO your son would benefit from being able to talk to someone outside the family because this problem is unlikely to go away by itself.I hope things go well over Christmas - try and have a break yourself, you deserve it🙂
Xx
Thanks for that Carol. I do truly believe we will come out the other side, it just worries me what damage he is doing in the meantime. It's good to hear someone who has been there/done that though, so can truly empathise with me. It's great just to 'talk' to you lot. My husband doesn't ever like to discuss things like this, he thinks I go on too much!
We were lucky that my son didn't go into full blown DKA at diagnosis as I suspected what the problem was before he was diagnosed, in fact we told the GP what the problem was (or so we thought). My son definitely does take things onboard, though he wouldn't ever want me to think he does, and generally his temper flare ups are at me. I know I go on, but you find me a mum in this position who doesn't - well I don't mean really go on, but you worry don't you and have to from time to time ask how things are or make suggestions or voice your worries.
We haven't got the new insulin yet - probably Thursday I'm told but then we will have to wait until Friday to start it. I casually asked a little while ago if he had tested/injected (novorapid) this morning and just got a straight 'No!' I really do hope he starts with this new regime at least for a bit, he does know the hospital are on his case now, so hopefully he starts to at least give it a go.
My son did receive counselling early on as he had major anxiety issues with leaving the home, but after a couple of sessions they decided he was fine. He did get over that. I had emailed our DSN and that was part of what I asked, had no reply from her, so asked her yesterday and she hadn't received it! Turns out the hospital have changed the end of their web address but it wasn't updated on the new list of emergency contact numbers etc! Not good! So we were whispering a bit whilst he was being examined by the consultant behind the curtain!
Now I have the correct email address I will contact her again and ask about that. He was offered a session with the psychologist at his September visit but he just politely said 'No thank you!' (Well brought up boy you see
) I really don't get why he's being like this over his injections and testing, that is the most frustrating thing, because he is generally a good, intelligent, well adjusted, mature, and well informed young man, so it beats me why he is doing this to himself.As I have said before, on the whole he seems himself. He does have periods of sleepiness, which I realise are a danger sign, and the drinking, but to the outside world he just seems himself. I just want something to give him a real wake up call and nothing seems to be working as yet.
Northerner
Admin (Retired)
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
It is frustrating! Honestly, if he did his tests and injection every time then in a very short space of time it would become such second nature that he would hardly notice he was doing it - and then he would be able to join all of us who inject and then ten seconds later think 'did I do my injection?' - because it becomes so automatic! 🙂 He'd feel so much happier and healthier as well. Instead, he's fighting it all the way and he can't win because it's not going to go away. I will watch this space and hope that it clicks with him soon! 🙂
trophywench
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
Can I say that 'our psychologist' actually picks on people in the waiting room to have a chat to!
Of course they are usually previously identified people and she also sees people who have requested or agreed to be referred. She says who she is and that she works in medical research at the Uni medical school.
The word 'research' usually generates enough interest ...... and she takes it from there .....
Of course they are usually previously identified people and she also sees people who have requested or agreed to be referred. She says who she is and that she works in medical research at the Uni medical school.
The word 'research' usually generates enough interest ...... and she takes it from there .....
imtrying
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
Hi Tina,
From someone who's lived with diabetes as a kid, can I just add my two-pence worth?
He will come round, but sometimes it all feels too much and you rebel. Most teenagers do anyway (sorry, I don't know how old your son is), and with diabetes it's just one way of doing that.
For me (if this is any help), I spent 4 or 5 years having my diabetes managed for me by my parents (as I was too young), and was then very good when I took on that responsibility....but it wasn't long after that that I was slipping into bad habits and/or getting fed up with it, and preferred more to try and 'fit in'.
But, I don't want to panic you. I DKA'd twice at the age of 18 (in 2 weeks)....but other than that I have been fine - no known or identified complications. That's not to say that you shouldn't take it seriously, but I just wanted to say for me, that really on the whole, I was ok.
I think my mum found it hard....but what was hardest for her was not being with me all the time to know what management I was giving my diabetes. I'd inject in my room and test out of sight, so she never knew if I was doing it or not.
I would say the most successful way of making him see (without him thinking you're doing it) is to get him to join some forums or diabetes facebook pages and talk to other people. It made me VERY aware of how little I was doing and how much I should have been doing...but it also gave me the support I needed to do that without feeling like I needed to worry my mum with it.
I'm not sure if I've really helped there or not...but I know what he's going through, but being more mature now, I can also have an idea of what you are going through too.
Big hugs.
From someone who's lived with diabetes as a kid, can I just add my two-pence worth?
He will come round, but sometimes it all feels too much and you rebel. Most teenagers do anyway (sorry, I don't know how old your son is), and with diabetes it's just one way of doing that.
For me (if this is any help), I spent 4 or 5 years having my diabetes managed for me by my parents (as I was too young), and was then very good when I took on that responsibility....but it wasn't long after that that I was slipping into bad habits and/or getting fed up with it, and preferred more to try and 'fit in'.
But, I don't want to panic you. I DKA'd twice at the age of 18 (in 2 weeks)....but other than that I have been fine - no known or identified complications. That's not to say that you shouldn't take it seriously, but I just wanted to say for me, that really on the whole, I was ok.
I think my mum found it hard....but what was hardest for her was not being with me all the time to know what management I was giving my diabetes. I'd inject in my room and test out of sight, so she never knew if I was doing it or not.
I would say the most successful way of making him see (without him thinking you're doing it) is to get him to join some forums or diabetes facebook pages and talk to other people. It made me VERY aware of how little I was doing and how much I should have been doing...but it also gave me the support I needed to do that without feeling like I needed to worry my mum with it.
I'm not sure if I've really helped there or not...but I know what he's going through, but being more mature now, I can also have an idea of what you are going through too.
Big hugs.
Pumper_Sue
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
Did he stop taking his insulin at the same time as getting over it?
I ask as I'm wondering if that's the problem solved in his eyes no insulin so no hypos etc.
Tina, we could be talking about the same boy! Ive felt battered, bruised and drained with it all in the past. My son took everything out on me, wouldnt tell me anything, but my attitude was to always take the stick and in the end he will see why Ive done what Ive done, and he really does seem to.Dont get me wrong , I worry that after a few years of high sugars , there will be some damage, but there is nothing I can do about that, and if there is anything I have had to learn , it is take each day and drama as it comes and dont worry about whats ahead. If you think about it, I dont know whether youve got other kids, but Ive got 3 and they were all like that at that age, diabetic or not. Throw diabetes into the mix and youve got to feel for them. You sound like a really concerned mum, and thats normal. He will come round in the end. Just keep doing what youre doing.
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