Depression and how to live with diabetes

[Jo121]

Sorry I'm back again all doom and gloom.
I've realised my diagnosis is making me depressed so I am going to seek help but in the meantime how are we supposed to live a normal life?
Everything opening back up with covid I've been invited so many places all involving meals out and or drinks. Now in context I'm not a drinker every week but I do like a few when I'm out. Also all the meals are at restaurants that do amazing food but all high carb. How am I supposed to live a normal life and not feel excluded or different when I cant say yes to any of these things as they are all a week after each other? I'm having to explain myself at work all the time refusing treats when people bring them in. Im mourning my weekly takeaway. I'm literally getting lower and lower every day.

Now I know from this I sound very unhealthy but I did eat well in the week, I exercise a lot and I'm slim so when it came to the weekends I did let myself go and have what i wanted.

I've just had my apt with the dietician and shes not advocating high fat, low carb at all either. I'm just so confused and its messing with my head. My bloods were down from 75 (they told me 89 originally as well) to 66 after 2 weeks but I'm been so strict I feel like I have no life. I'm an accountant so numbers are my thing so I am becoming a little obsessed with the monitor and keeping it below 8.5 after meals.

Is it normal to feel this low after diagnosis as I feel like I'll never be happy again.

 

[rebrascora]

There is a connection between diabetes and mental health and it is not unusual to feel low or depressed or even grieving after diagnosis. In fact grieving is something that many of us experienced... grieving for our old life where we could eat and drink without having to think about every single thing we put in our mouths or for those of us on insulin, will we get through the night without a hypo etc. It is a process that takes time to recover from, just like any other close loss but yopu do come to terms with it.
As regards going out, no reason why you can't have a drink or two. Many of us do. You just have to learn to make wise choices. Ideally low carb alcoholic drinks, so avoid the beer and cider and go for wine or a spirit with low cal mixer, so G& slimline T or rum and coke are my poisons of choice but ask for a bottle so that you can see it is diet coke because many of us suspect we have been served regular coke instead of diet and seen our BG levels rise dramatically as a result.

As regards meals it is a bit trickier but you do learn to choose lower carb options. I used to check the online menu beforehand and select two or 3 options that I could adapt or leave most of the high carb elements. Most restaurants will do a steak with mushrooms and salad with coleslaw and either ask for no chips or leave most of them. Cheese board works well for dessert but go easy on the biscuits/crackers and fruit. A nice glass of port with it works well although that has a little more carbs then red wine. It is all about adapting and it is possible to enjoy these occasions but I know in the early stages of diagnosis it is very difficult. The only thing I can say is that it does get easier as you get used to it. I think there will eventually be a shift towards lower carb meals being more readily available in restaurants as it is a growing "trend", just like pretty much all restaurant's cater for vegetarians these days.

 

[Jo121]

There is a connection between diabetes and mental health and it is not unusual to feel low or depressed or even grieving after diagnosis. In fact grieving is something that many of us experienced... grieving for our old life where we could eat and drink without having to think about every single thing we put in our mouths or for those of us on insulin, will we get through the night without a hypo etc. It is a process that takes time to recover from, just like any other close loss but yopu do come to terms with it.
As regards going out, no reason why you can't have a drink or two. Many of us do. You just have to learn to make wise choices. Ideally low carb alcoholic drinks, so avoid the beer and cider and go for wine or a spirit with low cal mixer, so G& slimline T or rum and coke are my poisons of choice but ask for a bottle so that you can see it is diet coke because many of us suspect we have been served regular coke instead of diet and seen our BG levels rise dramatically as a result.

As regards meals it is a bit trickier but you do learn to choose lower carb options. I used to check the online menu beforehand and select two or 3 options that I could adapt or leave most of the high carb elements. Most restaurants will do a steak with mushrooms and salad with coleslaw and either ask for no chips or leave most of them. Cheese board works well for dessert but go easy on the biscuits/crackers and fruit. A nice glass of port with it works well although that has a little more carbs then red wine. It is all about adapting and it is possible to enjoy these occasions but I know in the early stages of diagnosis it is very difficult. The only thing I can say is that it does get easier as you get used to it. I think there will eventually be a shift towards lower carb meals being more readily available in restaurants as it is a growing "trend", just like pretty much all restaurant's cater for vegetarians these days.

Thank you

 

[Leadinglights]

Sorry I'm back again all doom and gloom.
I've realised my diagnosis is making me depressed so I am going to seek help but in the meantime how are we supposed to live a normal life?
Everything opening back up with covid I've been invited so many places all involving meals out and or drinks. Now in context I'm not a drinker every week but I do like a few when I'm out. Also all the meals are at restaurants that do amazing food but all high carb. How am I supposed to live a normal life and not feel excluded or different when I cant say yes to any of these things as they are all a week after each other? I'm having to explain myself at work all the time refusing treats when people bring them in. Im mourning my weekly takeaway. I'm literally getting lower and lower every day.

Now I know from this I sound very unhealthy but I did eat well in the week, I exercise a lot and I'm slim so when it came to the weekends I did let myself go and have what i wanted.

I've just had my apt with the dietician and shes not advocating high fat, low carb at all either. I'm just so confused and its messing with my head. My bloods were down from 75 (they told me 89 originally as well) to 66 after 2 weeks but I'm been so strict I feel like I have no life. I'm an accountant so numbers are my thing so I am becoming a little obsessed with the monitor and keeping it below 8.5 after meals.

Is it normal to feel this low after diagnosis as I feel like I'll never be happy again.

I don't think you need to feel awkward about saying no to something at work when people bring things in, just as somebody would if they had a food allergy or were veggie or Muslim or Jewish for example and what was offered was unsuitable. I used to work with a whole range of people and nobody took offence when something was refused.
When out if you select your meals carefully, and just leave some of the high carb bits, there is usually somebody willing to have the extra chips.

 

[Jo121]

I don't think you need to feel awkward about saying no to something at work when people bring things in, just as somebody would if they had a food allergy or were veggie or Muslim or Jewish for example and what was offered was unsuitable. I used to work with a whole range of people and nobody took offence when something was refused.
When out if you select your meals carefully, and just leave some of the high carb bits, there is usually somebody willing to have the extra chips.

Thanks the issue is not having the chips makes me miserable

 

[Jo121]

That's good progress so well done you. It's tough for the first few weeks as the focus is on driving down your BG but once you've got to where you need to be you'll most likely have sorted out a diet that works for you and it'll become a way of life. It took me 5 months to get from 114 to 41 but I have no trouble these days staying under 130g per day while clocking up 2000 calories. Tea today, for example, is a Pasta Bolognese and while the rest of the family will have a full portion of pasta I'll have 30g. Just under 20g carb for my meal. Same carb count for my lunch today (Southern Fried Chicken salad).

Puzzled by your dietician's take on LC/HF. If you're reducing carbs the only other sources of nutrition are fats and protein, as she well knows.

You have some good advice from Barbara about eating out so all I would add is that when we eat out I generally go for chicken or steak and make sure I ask for vegetables or salad if the dish comes with chips, potatoes or rice.

You're clearly heading in the right direction so stick with it, and please don't lose sight of the fact that this is as much about your long-term health as it is about the here and now.

Martin

Thank you. 30g of pasta seems impossibly low. It must only be about 3 pieces? The dietician seemed happy for me to eat meals with white pasta with upto 46g carbs in them which I was puzzled about.she also said I need to split my plate into 1/3s and 1 of those third could be carbs

 

[Inka]

It’s completely normal to feel upset and shaken up after a diabetes diagnosis. It’s hard at first. It does gradually get easier though and you’ll develop your own strategies.

Don’t feel bad about saying No at work. If you’re feeling left out of the treats, could you have something like some nice coffees or those Options low carb hot chocolates, then whenever someone brings cakes in, go and make yourself one of those instead.

For takeaways, you can have low carb things and bulk up your meal with a salad or green veg. Eg you could have Chicken Tikka and just eat the chicken with a big salad and maybe a tablespoon of the rice if you really miss it. You’ll still have the nice flavours but low carb.

Exploring new things to eat can help too. Borrow or buy some new recipe books - lower carb, Mediterranean, lots of tasty salads and veg. Then you can plan out some nice meals for the week and have something to look forward to.

 

[Inka]

I’ve just seen that you miss chips. I could happily eat vast quantities of chips with salt and vinegar, but even though I’m on insulin more than a certain amount would make things trickier, so I’ve got used to a smaller portion. You can still have them - just watch your portion size. You can also ‘offset’ them with exercise afterwards and then you’ll probably be able to have more.

 

[Deleted member 21371]

I didn't go down the low carb route.
I was morbidly obese, I decided as well that low carb high fat was a very limiting choice for my lifestyle.
And, as you have found, it isn't supported by the NHS, and I had a very good team, including a dietician and a physio, as well as my GP on board.
As I needed to lose weight, I went for calorie restriction, coupled with low GI.

It doesn't mean I ate rice and pasta, I checked what spiked my BG by testing, and switched to a lot of vegetables, and salads if I ate out.
I don't eat high fat, I still don't, it raises my cholesterol way too much.

I did manage to successfully reverse my diabetes by doing the 800 calorie Newcastle diet, but I haven't switched back to my previous diet.
I cook from scratch a lot, a chili with be with beans, rather than rice, I was never keen on pasta either, but I eat some brown.
I eat sweet potatoes, pulses, I tend to go mostly for a Mediterranean diet, but low on fat, to keep the weight off, and the cholesterol down.

Initially I did try to drive my BG down, but I did balance that with what would work for me.
Basically chucked out all the classically bad food, and went for the "healthy" options, but less of them.

To me, I needed to find a solution that covered all my needs, including my social needs.
If you can test your BG, you will build a profile of what foods suit you, we are all completely different in our responses, it's not a broad brush.
And don't get obsessed with the BG readings, it's a slow ride, not a race.
You need to build a picture of the good, and the bad.
Low numbers are nice, but I actually used to chase the high numbers, simply if I saw one, I knew I couldn't eat that again, and moved on.

 

[Jo121]

22 pieces of wholegrain spelt fusili pasta.

My DN told me that my plate should be 50% meat or fish, 25% salad or veg and 25% carb. You'd think there'd be a consistent message.

I think that's part of my frustration there is no consistent message even within my own GPs practice

 

[Jo121]

I didn't go down the low carb route.
I was morbidly obese, I decided as well that low carb high fat was a very limiting choice for my lifestyle.
And, as you have found, it isn't supported by the NHS, and I had a very good team, including a dietician and a physio, as well as my GP on board.
As I needed to lose weight, I went for calorie restriction, coupled with low GI.

It doesn't mean I ate rice and pasta, I checked what spiked my BG by testing, and switched to a lot of vegetables, and salads if I ate out.
I don't eat high fat, I still don't, it raises my cholesterol way too much.

I did manage to successfully reverse my diabetes by doing the 800 calorie Newcastle diet, but I haven't switched back to my previous diet.
I cook from scratch a lot, a chili with be with beans, rather than rice, I was never keen on pasta either, but I eat some brown.
I eat sweet potatoes, pulses, I tend to go mostly for a Mediterranean diet, but low on fat, to keep the weight off, and the cholesterol down.

Initially I did try to drive my BG down, but I did balance that with what would work for me.
Basically chucked out all the classically bad food, and went for the "healthy" options, but less of them.

To me, I needed to find a solution that covered all my needs, including my social needs.
If you can test your BG, you will build a profile of what foods suit you, we are all completely different in our responses, it's not a broad brush.
And don't get obsessed with the BG readings, it's a slow ride, not a race.
You need to build a picture of the good, and the bad.
Low numbers are nice, but I actually used to chase the high numbers, simply if I saw one, I knew I couldn't eat that again, and moved on.

Thank you this is helpful advice

 

[Deleted member 21371]

The term Low Carb/High Fat should more accurately be called Low Carb/Normal Fat as I don't think that any of us who follow a LC/HF diet actually seek out fatty foods. We just don't go for low fat options. 75% of my fat intake comes from nuts, so is predominantly unsaturated - the so-called "good" fat, and I always try and keep my intake of saturated fat within the RDA of 30g per day. I don't always manage it but rarely go much over.

Without getting hung up on names,

"Puzzled by your dietician's take on LC/HF. If you're reducing carbs the only other sources of nutrition are fats and protein, as she well knows."

it was your description, and your reasoning why it was high fat to replace the carbs? Or are you high protein, as I've not heard of that one?

 

[Deleted member 21371]

I think that's part of my frustration there is no consistent message even within my own GPs practice

It's a basic rule of thumb. No food is pure carbs/fat/protein, so it's different phrasing for the different groupings normally.

 

[Deleted member 21371]

People my age are encouraged to eat more protein.

Ah, ok, you're low carb high protein, not high fat.
What age does the NHS advise we start that diet, it's not been mentioned by my GP?
Is it advised for all, including none diabetics?

Edit -

Link to healthy proteins on the NHS eatwell page, it does seem like the ones I eat to be fair, so possibly we have a similar diet.

Eat well

Information and guidance about eating a healthy, balanced diet.

www.nhs.uk

 

[rebrascora]

I might be the exception but I eat low carb, higher fat not normal fat. I actively choose foods which are higher fat and I have cream in my coffee instead of whole milk. I fry food in animal fat or olive oil rather than grill and I actively buy minced beef with 20% fat content and choose a rib eye steak over a fillet or rump and shoulder of lamb over leg and belly pork over tenderloin every time.

 

[Deleted member 21371]

As I said in an earlier post "High Fat" should be more accurately called "Normal Fat" as it simply means I don't select low fat options.

The PROT-AGE Study Group recommends that for people over 65 an average daily intake of at least 1.0 - 1.2g of protein per kg of body weight is necessary to maintain body mass and function (some experts say 1.0 - 1.3g, others 1.2 - 2.0g).

I thought the Eat Well plate had gone out of fashion amongst diabetics?

It was your terminology that chopped and changed, but now you have corrected it, we understand.
The eat well is a high protein diet it seems, so why would it have done?
Lets leave it there, the op has the advice now.

 

[Inka]

I don’t think you’re the exception @rebrascora I’ve seen many people say and eat similar.

 

[Drummer]

Thank you. 30g of pasta seems impossibly low. It must only be about 3 pieces? The dietician seemed happy for me to eat meals with white pasta with upto 46g carbs in them which I was puzzled about.she also said I need to split my plate into 1/3s and 1 of those third could be carbs

She really doesn't like her clients if that is the advice for someone who can't cope with carbohydrates.
Until the professionals start to take diabetes seriously there will still be people suffering dreadful consequences.

 

[pm133]

Hi @Jo121,

I am Type 1 so this might sound like a stupid question but what would be the effect on a Type 2 of eating a normal carby-ish meal (maybe with a smaller portion of chips) once in a blue moon so you don't have to feel left out?

Would that be so disastrous that it wouldn't be worth it or would it just given you a temporary blip which might be worth it?

In other words, do you need to be hard-core about avoiding carbs or is this a problem in general?

Another suggestion would be to consider whether having lower carbs than normal for the rest of the day except for the meal at the restaurant would work?

 

[Lucyr]

22 pieces of wholegrain spelt fusili pasta.

My DN told me that my plate should be 50% meat or fish, 25% salad or veg and 25% carb. You'd think there'd be a consistent message.

I was told 50% veg, 25% carb, 25% protein and minimal fat. Everyone seems to be told different things.