So unhappy

[am64]

taking a holiday is just what you need ...we go to Beesands in Devon ...stunning place quite out of the way excellent pub and cafe on an everchanging shingle beech... Huge skys and amazing weather ...very sunny ....but also great storms over the sea...we stayed in a cottage but i noticed this campsite on the hill side above the village apparently quite basic but with stunning views

Sugar Park, Beeson TQ7 2EN, 01548 580696
the link to the pub with some great photos of the area

http://www.thecricketinn.com/the-cricket.php

link to campsite review

http://alifeoutthere.com/2010/07/27/sugar-park-caravan-and-campsite/

 

[bigpurpleduck]

Hi Natalie,

Sorry to hear you've been feeling so down.

I work in a School within a University and have regular contact with PhD students. I have seen how stressful a PhD can be, and I have also seen that it is not for everyone. I know you are worried about job prospects should you not complete, but presumably you already have some pretty fantastic qualifications under your belt to get to PhD level. There would be no shame in admitting it isn't for you. I have a friend who is the most intelligent person I know, and he is far more than capable of doing a PhD, but has chosen not do so because he gets stressed fairly easily. Sometimes you have to put your mental health first.

Having said that, as others have pointed out, you've done a lot of work already and October 2012 will come round quicker than you can believe. It will also be an incredible achievement - imagine how you'll feel when it's over!

I know I'm probably just telling you what you already know, but I wanted to point out that, whatever decision you choose to make, people will understand, support and congratulate you for it. Just focus on what's right for you.

Some time out and a holiday camping sounds like a brilliant idea. You might find you come back feeling refreshed enough to continue.

Lastly, I'd like to point out that your University has an obligation to help - there should definitely be support available for students struggling with PhDs. In my experience, most students need support of one form or another at some point. I'd definitely look into it - maybe just having access to an impartial counsellor to listen would help. If you're not sure who to contact, just try calling the main switchboard - they should be able to direct you to the right department.

Best of luck, whatever you choose to do - and enjoy your holiday!

 

[Natalie123]

Hi Natalie,

Sorry to hear you've been feeling so down.

I work in a School within a University and have regular contact with PhD students. I have seen how stressful a PhD can be, and I have also seen that it is not for everyone. I know you are worried about job prospects should you not complete, but presumably you already have some pretty fantastic qualifications under your belt to get to PhD level. There would be no shame in admitting it isn't for you. I have a friend who is the most intelligent person I know, and he is far more than capable of doing a PhD, but has chosen not do so because he gets stressed fairly easily. Sometimes you have to put your mental health first.

Having said that, as others have pointed out, you've done a lot of work already and October 2012 will come round quicker than you can believe. It will also be an incredible achievement - imagine how you'll feel when it's over!

I know I'm probably just telling you what you already know, but I wanted to point out that, whatever decision you choose to make, people will understand, support and congratulate you for it. Just focus on what's right for you.

Some time out and a holiday camping sounds like a brilliant idea. You might find you come back feeling refreshed enough to continue.

Lastly, I'd like to point out that your University has an obligation to help - there should definitely be support available for students struggling with PhDs. In my experience, most students need support of one form or another at some point. I'd definitely look into it - maybe just having access to an impartial counsellor to listen would help. If you're not sure who to contact, just try calling the main switchboard - they should be able to direct you to the right department.

Best of luck, whatever you choose to do - and enjoy your holiday!

Hi! Thanks for your message. I'm hoping the holiday will give me some time to think about it. I will look into finding a counsellor, I know we have them as I have seen one before, I didn't really get on with her though, but it might have been that one person so it is worth trying it again. Just out of interest, what do you do in the university? I'm thinking that the phd is probably not for me its just a choice between coping for another year or finding something else to do, it doesn't help that I change my mind every half an hour or so 😱

 

[bigpurpleduck]

Hi! Thanks for your message. I'm hoping the holiday will give me some time to think about it. I will look into finding a counsellor, I know we have them as I have seen one before, I didn't really get on with her though, but it might have been that one person so it is worth trying it again. Just out of interest, what do you do in the university? I'm thinking that the phd is probably not for me its just a choice between coping for another year or finding something else to do, it doesn't help that I change my mind every half an hour or so 😱

I know what you mean about changing your mind! I'm terrible at making decisions.

I'm a secretary so my knowledge of PhDs really only comes from chatting to students informally - but I guess they are more honest with me than their supervisors!

 

[veganlass]

Natalie,

A holiday is a great idea, you can relax and take stock.

As for change direction in career, I was 25 when I started my nursing career. The World is your oyster, gal,. Do what you want to do and dont get pressurised by anyone.

Take anti depressants if they help, there is no shame in that.

Enjoy your hols.

 

[Natalie123]

Thanks Emma and Veganlass. Emma - you are quite right there, students are much more honest with people like you than their supervisors!! Vegan- thanks for you support, I guess I have plenty of time to change careers 🙂

 

[bigpurpleduck]

I meant to say re the counselling - I had a tough time a few years ago and saw 5 counsellors before I found one who worked well for me. It wasn't that talking to the others didn't help - it was just that they didn't seem to have the right things to say. So I would definitely look into a different counsellor - and if you don't like that one, don't be scared to ask for another. I would definitely persevere, though - counsellor #5 worked wonders with me and I am eternally grateful to her.

 

[Natalie123]

I meant to say re the counselling - I had a tough time a few years ago and saw 5 counsellors before I found one who worked well for me. It wasn't that talking to the others didn't help - it was just that they didn't seem to have the right things to say. So I would definitely look into a different counsellor - and if you don't like that one, don't be scared to ask for another. I would definitely persevere, though - counsellor #5 worked wonders with me and I am eternally grateful to her.

Thanks, I will try when I get back from my hols. I'm glad to here that I still have a chance to find someone who can help 🙂