Worried

[Munjeeta]

A long absence broken by a question I'm afraid - I will make sure I catch up on what's been goigng on soon 🙂

When I was first diagnosed I met a girl through my clinic, the same age as me and diabetic. Over the years we lost touch, but are friends on Facebook. Recently so many of her status updates have been really negative and today she posted one that sounds like she's really not in a good way. I know (from her statuses) that she's been having a tough time of it recently aside from her diabetes too. I messaged her and asked if she wanted to meet up and she said she would, although we haven't made any concrete plans yet as I was busy with school.

I'm just really after advice: what advice or help can I offer her?! What is going to help her? I have a horrible habit of getting morbid when other people are and possibly making it worse not better... I want to help her as best I can, by offering a shoulder, but what other support or advice can I give her? And... On a slightly more selfish note... I've finally got to the point where I am dealing with my diabetes... I'm scared of feeling bad about it all over again!

 

[aymes]

A cliche I know but I guess just listening is most of the battle won, there may not be much practical advice you can give (depending on what the issues are) but being able to offload on someone might be of the most help.

Part of what I do at work is to train people to mentor others and the key thing there is not trying to give someone the answers, but to support them to work through their issues, and possible solutions themselves. Difficult to say without knowing her specific problems but maybe let her talk and ask lots of open 'what do you think you're going to do about that..' type questions.

I don't think it's selfish at all to be concerned about how it will effect you. I guess as she's not a close friend, just be conscious that you're maintaining more of an emotional distance, going in to help but not taking whatever happens away with you, easier said than done I know!

Hope it goes well...

 

[Becca]

And... On a slightly more selfish note... I've finally got to the point where I am dealing with my diabetes... I'm scared of feeling bad about it all over again!

You sound like a good caring friend and not selfish at all. It's really good that you have offered to meet 🙂 I don't have any answers as i would look at it from a parents way if i was meeting up with one of them but i would say what has helped you get to the point of dealing with your diabetes? Is there anything there that you could use/say that might help your friend? Mind you, it's such a fine line isn't it, i hope that your friend will want to listen

Does she go to any support group or online here?

 

[Proudspirit]

Just being there will help her i'm sure.. we all need a shoulder to cry on sometimes.

 

[Caroline Wilson]

Often just knowing someone is there is abig help. Be there and be prepared to listen. Don't feel selfish for wanting to keep spme emotional distance as you are doing a great job for yourself.

A long time ago a friend who does drugs and alcohol counceling said you can't help spme one who doesn't want to be helped. The biggest step to self help is asking for it.

I know sometimes when we care it is hard not to help, but the other person coukd see it as interferance. I've lost count of the times I've told hubby to go away and stop interfering because I am trying to work something out for myself...

 

[Munjeeta]

Thank you 🙂 I have actually arranged to meet her this afternoon so I'm going to to go in a bit. Thanks for all the advice. I will go with my listening ears open!

 

[Northerner]

Hope it goes well Munjeeta! You always cheer me up with your posts - your character really comes through! I think you will be a great help 🙂

 

[sasha1]

Hi Munjeeta....

Hope all goes well, this afternoon.

Heidi
x🙂

 

[sofaraway]

I hope it went well Munjeeta. It can be hard supporting a friend so remember to look after yourself. You have achieved so much recently and have been very positive about controlling your diabetes so don't lose sight of that.

 

[Munjeeta]

I've just come back from visiting her, it was very strange (but actually very lovely!) speaking to and being in the presence of a 'real live diabetic' hehe... 🙂 I hope my visit helped her a little. And it was definitely helpful for me to have my frustrations reflected back, in a nice, understanding way...

And may I also just take this opportunity to say a HUGE thank you to all of you guys. Nikki, you're right, I HAVE been a lot more positive about my diabetes recently, and i have done a lot of work with it with myself. But a lot of the positivity is due to having such a wonderful support network as this. You guys are brilliant and can always be counted on for support and advice. So thank you. So, so much xxx

 

[sofaraway]

Glad to hear it went well, it is nice to be with other people with diabetes as they just 'get it'. I'm sure you helped her, and gave her a bit of hope that things can be different.

 

[katie]

I've just come back from visiting her, it was very strange (but actually very lovely!) speaking to and being in the presence of a 'real live diabetic' hehe... 🙂 I hope my visit helped her a little. And it was definitely helpful for me to have my frustrations reflected back, in a nice, understanding way...

And may I also just take this opportunity to say a HUGE thank you to all of you guys. Nikki, you're right, I HAVE been a lot more positive about my diabetes recently, and i have done a lot of work with it with myself. But a lot of the positivity is due to having such a wonderful support network as this. You guys are brilliant and can always be counted on for support and advice. So thank you. So, so much xxx

Hey. It was really nice of you to meet up with her after you had lost touch. I'm glad it went well, i'm sure it really did help her out.

This place has helped me out loads too, my levels are so much better and I can always come on here and sort out any problems im have, so thanks guys xx