Hi my daughter was diagnosed 18 months ago. She counted her carbs, scanned constantly regular injection. She did brilliantly up until about 4 months ago. She has stopped doing just about everything when it comes to her diabetes. If i ground her she does great until she is with her friends again. She just wont take care of herself properly. Im really worried for her. She has had a weekend in hosp a few weeks back due to high ketones. No matter what her dad and i do tell help or put her on the right road she just seems hell bent on doing whatever she wants. I'm at the end of my tether as to how to help her.
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worried for 14 year old daughter
- Thread starter Boab
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Hi @Boab and welcome to the forum, I am only recently diagnosed and don't have the knowledge or expertise to help sorry. I am sure someone will be along soon who will be able to help you, there are amazing people on these forums who have both the knowledge and experience to help
There is a forum for parents on this site . https://forum.diabetes.org.uk/boards/forums/parents.18/
take care
There is a forum for parents on this site . https://forum.diabetes.org.uk/boards/forums/parents.18/
take care
Inka
Well-Known Member
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- Type 1
Type 1 is an extremely wearing condition as an adult, and even more stressful as a teen. Feeling different and having to fuss around with insulin and counting carbs is exhausting when you just want to ‘be you’.
Do her friends know about it? Could they tactfully encourage her to do what she has to do? Is there any particular aspect that’s getting her down?
Are her team supporting her with any psychological help?
Do her friends know about it? Could they tactfully encourage her to do what she has to do? Is there any particular aspect that’s getting her down?
Are her team supporting her with any psychological help?
Thebearcametoo
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Parent of person with diabetes
That sounds so difficult.
Have you reached out to your diabetes team? We’ve had time times where they’ve been involved including the psychologist.
If you can get her to do her basal and her breakfast that’s part way there. The teen years are hard. If you know any of her friends and can get them onboard with helping that would be good. I’m sure they worry too if she’s been in hospital but they may not know how to help.
Have you reached out to your diabetes team? We’ve had time times where they’ve been involved including the psychologist.
If you can get her to do her basal and her breakfast that’s part way there. The teen years are hard. If you know any of her friends and can get them onboard with helping that would be good. I’m sure they worry too if she’s been in hospital but they may not know how to help.
Flower
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
Hi and welcome @Boab , that sounds tough and a really worrying situation with your daughter.
Having been a teenager with T1 approximately 40 years ago 😱 I went through similar periods of total rebellion and trying to ignore diabetes. It is a turbulent time with puberty hormones and wanting to gain more independence. I wanted to not feel criticised when I was struggling. I wanted my Mum to say let's have a go at working this out together so we can put diabetes back in its box and enjoy things again without having a perpetual battle.
Is there a local group at her hospital for teens? I think there are at some of the centres. I know I would have recoiled in horror at the thought of meeting others with T1 in my teenage years but it is one of the very best thing to do to realise everyone is having similar issues/struggles and have a chat and laugh about it all. There are also Diabetes UK weekend family events to meet others - it might be a hard sell but may provide a break through.
www.diabetes.org.uk
Wishing you well.
Having been a teenager with T1 approximately 40 years ago 😱 I went through similar periods of total rebellion and trying to ignore diabetes. It is a turbulent time with puberty hormones and wanting to gain more independence. I wanted to not feel criticised when I was struggling. I wanted my Mum to say let's have a go at working this out together so we can put diabetes back in its box and enjoy things again without having a perpetual battle.
Is there a local group at her hospital for teens? I think there are at some of the centres. I know I would have recoiled in horror at the thought of meeting others with T1 in my teenage years but it is one of the very best thing to do to realise everyone is having similar issues/struggles and have a chat and laugh about it all. There are also Diabetes UK weekend family events to meet others - it might be a hard sell but may provide a break through.
Family events
Our Type 1 Events can be life-changing for children and young people living with type 1 diabetes. The events provide young people with time and space to build their confidence in managing type 1 in a fun and safe environment, and offer the opportunity to share experiences with people who know...
Wishing you well.
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- Relationship to Diabetes
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- Pronouns
- He/Him
Ah @Boab 
My heart goes out to you both. Diabetes can be so tough during teen years and she absolutely isn’t the first to have had a wobble, and wanted the whole thing to just bog off. Aside from peer pressure and the completely natural desire to want to just ‘fit in‘, a diagnosis with diabetes can bring emotions very like grieving, complete with surges of anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and ultimately acceptance.
I’ll tag in @Bronco Billy and @Sally71 who are other parent posters on the forum.
Reaching out to your team for more support (they will have seen this many times), and possibly help from a diabetes psychologist sounds like a good plan.
My heart goes out to you both. Diabetes can be so tough during teen years and she absolutely isn’t the first to have had a wobble, and wanted the whole thing to just bog off. Aside from peer pressure and the completely natural desire to want to just ‘fit in‘, a diagnosis with diabetes can bring emotions very like grieving, complete with surges of anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and ultimately acceptance.
I’ll tag in @Bronco Billy and @Sally71 who are other parent posters on the forum.
Reaching out to your team for more support (they will have seen this many times), and possibly help from a diabetes psychologist sounds like a good plan.
Bronco Billy
Moderator
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Parent of person with diabetes
Hi @Boab, welcome to the forum.
Do her friends know about her type 1? If they do and she used to treat herself around them, I wonder if one of them has said something that has made her reluctant to care for herself around them now. It may be she is experiencing something called diabetes burnout. The link below gives more information about it. At the top of the page is the number of our helpline, so please give them a call if you need to.
https://www.diabetes.org.uk/guide-to-diabetes/emotions/diabetes-burnout
My daughter had some psychological scars as a result of the nature of her diagnosis, but some sessions with the psychologist helped a lot. I would echo what others have said about talking to your team about accessing one. My daughter didn’t want to talk to me or my wife, but she opened up to the psychologist. Maybe your daughter will do the same.
Do her friends know about her type 1? If they do and she used to treat herself around them, I wonder if one of them has said something that has made her reluctant to care for herself around them now. It may be she is experiencing something called diabetes burnout. The link below gives more information about it. At the top of the page is the number of our helpline, so please give them a call if you need to.
https://www.diabetes.org.uk/guide-to-diabetes/emotions/diabetes-burnout
My daughter had some psychological scars as a result of the nature of her diagnosis, but some sessions with the psychologist helped a lot. I would echo what others have said about talking to your team about accessing one. My daughter didn’t want to talk to me or my wife, but she opened up to the psychologist. Maybe your daughter will do the same.
Thank you so very much to everyone for getting back to me. We are now in the process of getting her help with the school councillor.. I am in touch with youth peer support group and hope to get the ball rolling with that as well. I know it will be a long slow process but we'll get there in the end. I have spoken with her friends and they are on board to help to. Thank you all for your input. So very grateful.
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
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Ah that’s great that you are building such a strong support network around you @Boab
This ‘teen etiquette guide’ had some hints about having positive conversations with young people about their diabetes, which might be helpful (though you are probably doing them all already!)
This ‘teen etiquette guide’ had some hints about having positive conversations with young people about their diabetes, which might be helpful (though you are probably doing them all already!)
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