I'm now a week and 2 days past diagnosis and I just cant accept it. I start the day ok but by tea time I'm just sad. By sad I mean I just stand cooking our meals and cry my heart out. This is then me down and upset crying on and off for the night. Its causing huge arguments between me and my husband as he doesnt understand. I feel like I'm mourning my own life. It's so overwhelming and it's also affecting my kids as I'm struggling to hide it from them. My 7 year old is playing up and I feel like I've no fun left in me for them as feel like the joy has been sucked from me.
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When will the acceptance kick in?
- Thread starter Jo121
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Vonny
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 2
@Jo121 you feel like your are mourning your own life because that is exactly what you are doing. We have all done it. A year ago I was well and truly devasted and thought I'd never ever be happy again.
It's very early days for you yet...you are still trying to come to terms with a new way of eating, you aren't understood by your family (how could you be?). Diagnosis is a very lonely place to start with, but I assure you that things will get better.
The fun will return. I don't know when, but it will. Big {{{hugs}}} x
It's very early days for you yet...you are still trying to come to terms with a new way of eating, you aren't understood by your family (how could you be?). Diagnosis is a very lonely place to start with, but I assure you that things will get better.
The fun will return. I don't know when, but it will. Big {{{hugs}}} x
TinaD
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 2
You have my sympathy and that of all of us on here. The diagnosis is a very nasty shock. Do not despair. Firstly because there is on going research which shows a good prospect of putting your diabetes Type 2 into remission. I was diagnosed in August last year and have been in remission for 4 months - no drugs, no high blood sugar, but eating very few carbohydrates. Secondly because, as you will see on this very supportive forum, even those who do not have the good fortune to get into remission enjoy full, long and happy lives by careful control of the disease. We can point you to reseach papers and articles which will help you help yourself if you tell us more about your diabetes diagnosis: such as what was the level of your HbA1c test? Are you overweight or if thinnish carrying most of your weight around the waist? Has your Dr put you on any medication and if so what? We do not give medical advice but we do help you to inform yourself.
Thank you. My HbA1C was 89.
I'm 40 years old.
Slim and healthy. 10k steps a day every day and gym 3 times a week although I am recovering from covid and due to lockdown that slipped but steps increased to compensate as I did more walking.
I weigh around 10stone 10lb and I'm 5 foot 7. I wear a size 12 clothes. I do carry most of my weight around my middle but I dont have a round middle if that makes sense just your typical mum tummy.
I am on metformin. Currently on 1000 per day but over next two weeks I've to increase to 2000 per day.
I'm very picky with food but what's getting to me the most about it all is the time element. I have no time for this in my life because I work full time in a high pressure job, have a busy self employed hubby, 2 young kids and 2 dogs that currently need walked separately because one is a puppy and is being trained. Some days I simply need to bang a pizza in the oven for us all (although I do serve that with salad) or whip up a quick pasta dish. I also have a takeaway every sat as a treat and not having that has got he down today (more because it's a break from cooking and dishes) I've found there is nothing quick or convenient about diabetes meals. I was buying a local meal prep lunches which were great for work but these all seem to be pasta and rice based dishes- high protein, high carb and low fat so now I cant have these either. The only thing that isnt changing is my breakfast as I already ate berries and greek yoghurt and one oatibix apart from a sat when I'd have buttery toast. It just feels impossible to make the changes necessary without a stupid amount of planning and cooking which will take precious time that I have with my kids away from me. Tonight I'd watch a movie cuddled in waiting for my takeaway but instead I was cooking. It just makes me so sad
Maca44
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 2
It becomes better when all the information sinks in and it kind of just becomes normal to eat a different way you gotta find ways to find the foods that you enjoy then you find out your not deprived at all.
Take you time and post here you will soon take it all in it's not the end it's a new beginning.
Take you time and post here you will soon take it all in it's not the end it's a new beginning.
PattiEvans
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Jo as @Vonny says, you are grieving for your own lost health and your old way of life. It's natural and normal. Have a look at the Five Stages of Grief they don't always come in the same order, and you can go forward and back.
I also wanted to say that I was diagnosed 19 years ago and have got used to the style of eating that's quite low carb (so has hubby). It's actually a lot nicer! Occasionally I am faced with having to eat something a friend has bought in and honestly it tastes blooming awful!
I also wanted to say that I was diagnosed 19 years ago and have got used to the style of eating that's quite low carb (so has hubby). It's actually a lot nicer! Occasionally I am faced with having to eat something a friend has bought in and honestly it tastes blooming awful!
Hi @Jo121
I think it came as a shock to most of us type 2's and I still get down days 6 years on but don't let it control you.
You can and will take control of this and will find that tweaking your lifestyle gradually reap the benefits.
I still have a takeaway once a week because I choose to and I enjoy it .
There is plenty of good advice on the forums remember you are not alone .
As well as educating ourselves we need to gently educate those around our everyday lives also , my wife really didn't understand for maybe the first 2 years of me being diagnosed but has slowly learnt along with me , so I'm sure it will get easier for both you and your husband .
Virtual hugs
I think it came as a shock to most of us type 2's and I still get down days 6 years on but don't let it control you.
You can and will take control of this and will find that tweaking your lifestyle gradually reap the benefits.
I still have a takeaway once a week because I choose to and I enjoy it .
There is plenty of good advice on the forums remember you are not alone .
As well as educating ourselves we need to gently educate those around our everyday lives also , my wife really didn't understand for maybe the first 2 years of me being diagnosed but has slowly learnt along with me , so I'm sure it will get easier for both you and your husband .
Virtual hugs
KARNAK
Much Missed Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
Hello @Jo121 welcome to the forum.
A perfectly natural reaction when first diagnosed, I understand you are cooking for 4 so nothing has changed
in that respect, continue to have your takeaway at the weekend its the carbs you need to cut down not out.
We have many T2`s who have gone into remission through use of the forum and I will tag someone to advise
you on the best way forward, I`m T1 so a different regime apply`s because in theory we can eat anything but
most of us follow a LCHF (Low Carb High Fat) diet which helps us T1`s to reduce our insulin intake also some
T2`s who are on insulin.
A busy women like you deserves quick knowledge so read the forum when you can and join in the discussions,
ask any question we`re here for you, one other question where you supplied with a blood test meter? if not push
your GP or DN (Diabetic Nurse for one) this will help you decide which foods help you or not.
Take care stay safe, a little at a time.
A perfectly natural reaction when first diagnosed, I understand you are cooking for 4 so nothing has changed
in that respect, continue to have your takeaway at the weekend its the carbs you need to cut down not out.
We have many T2`s who have gone into remission through use of the forum and I will tag someone to advise
you on the best way forward, I`m T1 so a different regime apply`s because in theory we can eat anything but
most of us follow a LCHF (Low Carb High Fat) diet which helps us T1`s to reduce our insulin intake also some
T2`s who are on insulin.
A busy women like you deserves quick knowledge so read the forum when you can and join in the discussions,
ask any question we`re here for you, one other question where you supplied with a blood test meter? if not push
your GP or DN (Diabetic Nurse for one) this will help you decide which foods help you or not.
Take care stay safe, a little at a time.
No I didnt get a meter but I have pushed for an apt with the diabetic nurse at my doctors this week so will be asking about this then. At the moment all I'm doing is logging food on my fitness pal to try and see how many carbs I am eating a day but I am been extra strict so unfortunately it's not many calories so I know this cant continue
KARNAK
Much Missed Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
Forget the calories Jo carbs are your main concern calories will be good if the carbs are correct.
Set yourself a limit on carbs e.g.150, 100 or lower if you wish, don`t be too hard on yourself, I
started on 250 and now 50-80 but lots of veg involved. Does your fitness pal calculate the carbs
from the food you have told it or do you input the carb value of your food including snacks?
Please push for a meter the DN will try to put you off but its an essential part of controlling your D.
Set yourself a limit on carbs e.g.150, 100 or lower if you wish, don`t be too hard on yourself, I
started on 250 and now 50-80 but lots of veg involved. Does your fitness pal calculate the carbs
from the food you have told it or do you input the carb value of your food including snacks?
Please push for a meter the DN will try to put you off but its an essential part of controlling your D.
Lucy Honeychurch
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
It's common to feel as you do...please get a blood glucose monitor and keep an eye on your levels, as many members here had been diagnosed type 2 when they are actually type one or LADA, plus you've had Covid.
Drummer
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 2
If you want pizza there is fat head pizza - it takes a few minutes to make the base but it is a good substitute. I have a halogen oven, which is quick, and a thermostatically controlled grill which doesn't need watching, also a slow cooker, hot air fryer, pressure cooker - all sorts of kitchen 'toys' which make things easier.
I make stir fries, stews, curries, cauliflower cheese which many prefer to pasta.
Although I have time at the moment, my meal choices are those developed to be quick and easy feeding a family.
I tend to cook more meat than I need for one meal - a whole pack of chicken thighs for instance, or a large chicken. The Leftovers were either frozen or left in the fridge depending on when they were required.
I make stir fries, stews, curries, cauliflower cheese which many prefer to pasta.
Although I have time at the moment, my meal choices are those developed to be quick and easy feeding a family.
I tend to cook more meat than I need for one meal - a whole pack of chicken thighs for instance, or a large chicken. The Leftovers were either frozen or left in the fridge depending on when they were required.
I'm not interested in the calories my fitness pal just lets me scan the food and input how much I have had then it keeps track of carbs, protein, fat etc for the day. I'm managing to keep carbs less than 120g per day but they are still the biggest part of what makes up my calories. I'm what I would call clean eating - I've not had anything processed since I was diagnosed but everything has carbs in and its doing my head in. Because I dont like a lot of meat even veggie products that are higher in protein have carbs in. When I'm eating I feel awful dizzy after. To be honest I felt better when I was undiagnosed as now I'm worried, stressed and down as well as thirsty all the time, peeing all the time, feeling dizzy after eating. It's making me feel like I just dont want to eat. I'm not exaggerating- without carbs there is no food that i will look forward to and enjoy. I'm just eating because i have to.
Jo, you sound super stressed right now which is also going to be impacting your diabetes and also your mood. Our D journeys are very different but initially it is overwhelming, acceptance or no.
Please consider talking to your GP about getting signed off from work for a week or two to take some time for yourself. Be kind to you. I found it just gave a bit of breathing space to read around, think about diet and management and test/implement some new strategies and I don't have a family to worry about on top of a demanding job.
I think you also said elsewhere you have a GP appointment coming up so do mention the increase in severity if your symptoms.
Heart is going out to you.
Please consider talking to your GP about getting signed off from work for a week or two to take some time for yourself. Be kind to you. I found it just gave a bit of breathing space to read around, think about diet and management and test/implement some new strategies and I don't have a family to worry about on top of a demanding job.
I think you also said elsewhere you have a GP appointment coming up so do mention the increase in severity if your symptoms.
Heart is going out to you.
@Jo121 sorry to read about your diagnosis. Your reaction is completely understandable.
One thing I wonder, given you are active and not obese, is whether you may have Type 1 diabetes. Some doctors still diagnose type 2 based on age but given more than half the people with Type 1 are diagnosed as adults, this is often incorrect.
In your position, I would question the diabetes nurse why Type 1 was not considered.
The wrong diagnosis can cause problems and needs to be nipped in the bud as soon as possible.
One thing I wonder, given you are active and not obese, is whether you may have Type 1 diabetes. Some doctors still diagnose type 2 based on age but given more than half the people with Type 1 are diagnosed as adults, this is often incorrect.
In your position, I would question the diabetes nurse why Type 1 was not considered.
The wrong diagnosis can cause problems and needs to be nipped in the bud as soon as possible.
Thank you. I actually need work at the mo and think I'd be in a much darker place without it as it's the only place I dont think about diabetes
Fair enough. It's an option to consider.
TinaD
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 2
You are clearly intelligent. This gives you a great advantage in dealing with your diabetes. What you need now is good information to work on.
Weight: Although your BMI is excellent you may be what is known as a TOFI (thin on outside fat on inside). This means visceral fat surrounding organs whilst having little subcuntaneous fat. Newcastle University has been running a research program on reducing such fat. The research papers are available on line but here is a start: https://www.diabetes.org.uk/researc...ht/research-spotlight-low-calorie-liquid-diet. You do not have to just eat shakes (although a time saver) and can follow the regime using standard foods.
For easier reading try Dr Michael Moseley: https://thebloodsugardiet.com/michaels-story/. For recipe ideas you may find Diet Doctor helpful. The site has a wide range of information as well as on weight loss. It is free but has a join option at 9 dollars a month. https://www.dietdoctor.com/low-carb/keto/u4 It has a shopping list option which can save time and why not then use click and collect to save supermarket shopping time?
Carbs: We are all different. Some on here can eat 130g of carbs other much less. I try to stick to 20 carbs or less - approaching 30 and BG levels go up to unhealthy levels. You must get a monitor so that you can see how you are doing - others will tell you which are recommended and it is useful to get a good book giving carb and cals info - Carbs and Cals Carb and Calories CounterISBN 978-1-9082611-5-1, available on Amazon, is quite good. The quicker you get your BG under control the less chance of damage and the highest chance of reversing diabetes (going into remission) according to the scientific literature.
Greek yoghurt and berries is a lovely breakfast. Some Greek yoghurts are higher carb than others: Fage 5% is the lowest I have found at 3g carbs per 100gs of yoghurt. Since you are quite slim you could also try Aldis Brooklea 10% fat Greek yoghurt 3.7g carbs - very slightly sharper than Fage but also lovely/creamy/filling. For berries do not have many - the lowest carbs is raspberries at 5g per 100gns of fruit.
Although oats are a lovely cereal they do contain quite a few carbs (oat biscuit 10carbs in 16g of biscuit, oat flakes 60g in 100, porridge made with water 9g per 100g).
Foods: sorry to see that you are not a natural carnivore. However cheese, eggs, fish as well as legumes are options altho' legumes range in carbs between 5 and 58 carbs per 100gms so you need to pick carefully. There are numerous companies which will deliver keto friendly foods - a quick google will find them - I haven't tried any of them as I prefer cooking from scratch, do not have your time constraints and am quite happy with steak and salad as a quick meal - still may be worth a quick look. Many people save time by batch cooking and freezing.
Talk to your Dr before going "full keto" as it may alter the amount of drugs he prescribes for you. In the short term avoiding anything containing flour (e.g. bread, pasta, pizza,scones, pancakes), potatoes, rice, will help.
Good luck and do not get too miserable - this thing can be controlled - and, may I suggest, you get your husband to read some of the info so that he gets on your side and not under your feet when you have a bit of a hill to climb. The view is OK from the top and the piddling/thirst/wibbly wobbly problems will go away once you control the BG.
I can totally sympathise. I was diagnosed with T2D 2 months ago. I have accepted it to some extent, but in the back of my mind, I am still hoping that if I stay on this reduced carb/ sugar diet for long enough, I will get the T2D into remission and be able to eat normally again. And to be honest, it is this that is keeping me going.
If a year in, there is no difference, it will be harder. The blurred vision I suffered immediately prior to my diagnosis is still my key motivator.
I have lost all joy in eating. This is partly due to the metformin making me feel vaguely nauseous, so I don't even look forward to the low carb foods I would usually enjoy. Eating has become very functional, and I still have to meal plan and cook meals the whole family will eat.
If a year in, there is no difference, it will be harder. The blurred vision I suffered immediately prior to my diagnosis is still my key motivator.
I have lost all joy in eating. This is partly due to the metformin making me feel vaguely nauseous, so I don't even look forward to the low carb foods I would usually enjoy. Eating has become very functional, and I still have to meal plan and cook meals the whole family will eat.
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