what is your opinion....

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xxlou_lxx

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
Ok, until recently (maybe due to being part of this support group) I didnt really take a thought to other peoples diabetes, sometimes you think your being nosey asking questions etc, but I know that I am healthy so wouldnt want to preach to others.
Thing is I have a friend well an old school frend who is type one and a relative of my oh who is also type one, the old school mate has good controlled diabetes and has had it for 18 yrs, but she smokes and drinks regualrly which is no good aside from being diabetic, the other one has only had diabetes for 5 years but has poor control and I dont know to what extent but i have NEVER seen him taking insulin or bg and doesnt seem to be on the fore front of his mind... I know he used to be chubby but he isnt now! Makes me think he doesnt even take his insulin (he is 27)🙄 Last new year we were at a house party and he said he left his kit at home but was drinking a ton of cocktails (i was checking my bg all night as I go high if i dont drink spirits with diet mixers....
I suggested he tested using mine with a new lancet but he got real cagey and weird so I left it....
I wonder in your opinion who is going to suffer the consequences first?
I suggested to both to come on here, but not suprisingly neither of them are interested!!🙄
 
There isn't an awful lot you can do for the one with poor control until he's ready to deal with the condition. Maybe he does his thing but only when no-one's watching. Perhaps if you see him regularly you can test and all while he's there, if he sees you have no problem with it, maybe he'll be more open. Don't discuss what you're doing unless he starts the conversation, just do it and get on with your day as though it were no big deal.

We're always glad to see new members joining, but again, it has to be their decision.
 
Is the person who doesn't test Type 2? You'd obviously not survive for long
as a Type 1 without insulin.

I'd say that they both have problems. Smoking and diabetes will hit you badly in your 40s, the drink might be less of a problem if levels aren't swinging hugely. Personally, I can't imagine why someone would smoke when they have diabetes, the risks are enormous. I'm guessing that both are under 30, when you feel that you are innvincible, but as a 51 yo, I can say that it WILL catch up with you. The person who won't test is also burying their head in the sand - they both need a good talking to!
 
Got to say as i can relate a little to this as I was a bit of a wild child about 10/15 years ago having been diabetic for so many years prior to being in my late teens early twenties! I also feel i rebelled against having T1 and all those hormonal changes that come with growing up 🙄 Also on the other hand though, i would test my BG in private for no-one else to see.

I am not prone to being nagged at even still in my old age but i know whats right from whats not. I also still test discreetly as i don't see its anyone elses business but thats just me.

Perhaps he was embarrassed when you offered assistance i don't know and as Northerner says it sadly will catch up with him.

What do his parents do/say? If you are related in some way can you offer support to them at all? I appreciate all the issues that come with this though.

Some people there is no telling and like others have mentioned its sadly one of those things that you have to come to terms with yourself, hopefully before its too late....

Bernie xx 🙂
 
when I was pregnant I seen the guys mum quite a lot, and she never seemed too bothered about his control... and even asked why I was freaking out so much to see 8.9 on my monitor 🙄 He is type 1 though!

my old pal to be fair only smokes 5 a day but still enough to do harm (she is type 1 too)... she wanted to quit but thinks there is no point as the damage will be done already 😱 Its pointless...

I shouldnt be worried about their diabetes if they are not, its not my place really, just glad its not only me who thinks its a bad situation :confused:
 
xxlou_lxx said:
when I was pregnant I seen the guys mum quite a lot, and she never seemed too bothered about his control... and even asked why I was freaking out so much to see 8.9 on my monitor 🙄 He is type 1 though!

my old pal to be fair only smokes 5 a day but still enough to do harm (she is type 1 too)... she wanted to quit but thinks there is no point as the damage will be done already 😱 Its pointless...

I shouldnt be worried about their diabetes if they are not, its not my place really, just glad its not only me who thinks its a bad situation :confused:
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It is never too late to stop smoking! Most of the damage is undone in the first couple of years, although there are immediate benifits from day 1. After 7 years all of your body's cells have replaced themselves and you are only at slightly higher risk because you smoked. Plus, it saves you money! When I was diagnosed one thing that I thanked god for was the fact that I had stopped smoking 14 years earlier (after 20 years of 20+ a day). I know it's hard to think about life in your 50s and 60s when you are young, but beleive me, you don't want to be feeling your life is over when you get there!
 
For me I think I fit into a few of those categories. I like decent control but there are times when I won't let that stand in the way of me enjoying life. I do like a good drink (ok, very good) and I do occaisionally smoke cigars or a hookah pipe with my friends. I do think type ones should aim for good control but ultimately it is down to what the induvidual is comfortable with. We should all be made aware of the risks that we run as diabetics then we can't say "you didn't tell me!" to the medics when we complain in twenty years time. I try to get decent control but sometimes having a good time just does come in front of it and I wouldn't change that.
 
I'm with Northe on that. I'm into my fifties now and used to be a party animal and a heavy smoker (40 a day). I'm glad I stopped though because I'd be in a far worse state now if I hadn't. The thing is, I don't believe proselytising will do any good, it just gets folks backs up. All you can really do is lead by example and be ready to talk if they ask.
 
APOLOGIES FOR THE CRAZY LONG POST... it wasn't meant to be!! I just realised |I had typed a whole essay....


hmmm... this is a tricky and i should say rather sensitive thread for me...

I love a drink (although a little less regularly now) and I smoke.

On top of that I was diagnosed 5 years ago, am 27 and after the first year of being a good diabetic and then I rejected it all, and was very much in denial about my diabetes. It sounds like hes very much in denial too.

I did little testing to no testing, took insulin randomly, patches of times where I only took one injection a day, and that was an untested guess. I was basically doing enough to stay alive and was hospitalised dka several times... If anyone was to ask me about my diabetes/bs I would lie, and if it was someone i couldn't get away to lying about it to, i imagine i was very cagey and defensive. I was in denial about it, but at the same time was very aware what i was doing was terrible... I was still very well educated about diabetes, I just couldn't cope with it all.

I did seek help during this time a number of times... but the help was limited, it wasn't that i didn't know what to do, i needed some support doing it,,, and that wasn't available. I did find out though, from nurses, doctors and a health psychologist i was sent to see that for people like me... diagnosed during early 20s that had led more hedonistic lifestyles that was this not uncommon at all, they tended not to adjust well at all, and found it much more difficult. In fact that age group generally tended to find it more difficult anyway... those in puberty being the other group unsurprisingly. Not that I expect that adjusting at any age is easy!! So I can sympathise and empathise completely.

I personally have had a turn around recently... but speaking from experience the main thing they need is support to make the changes easier, so that doing that stuff doesn't feel like it means missing out on the fun stuff. I'm sure I would have got through it better if I had family, friends or loved ones taking a little of the pressure off... but i didnt. The first year when I was doing well I had a boyfriend who was supportive... but we broke up and I just didn't deal with it by myself. Also, I had no reason to care, as the only person i could let down was myself, and there was no one else to notice.

Its hard to say how you could help, because it may be the last thing they want, the help needs to come from the right person in the right way... and of course they must want things to be different in the first place.

oh and btw... I do plan on quitting smoking... but its harder said then done, and i smoked for a long time before i was diagnosed. I don't however plan on stopping drinking... its my fun-time and i don't plan on giving that up.

I realise that doesn't actually answer your question, but I'm probably not the best judge for that
 
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I think some people like a bit of privacy - I wouldn't test on someone else's maching if they told me I should be (especially at a party) either.

Maybe he's feeling a bit like me. I gave up smoking before I found out I was diabetic, and my meds meant I cant drink either (both ones for diabetic related things and chronic pain). Then to have to start a lifelong diet, getting thrown in at the deep end with no means of testing (until I bought my own stuff), I feel a bit like everything I enjoy in life has gone.

Thank god for my kids and my pets, I very nearly reached for the cigs the other day just to have some pleasure in my life again!🙄
 
Speaking as a life long smoker (well not quite as I gave up 6yrs ago), you will find it nearly impossible to tell anyone to stop smoking and I would think the denial that you describe over the diabetes is the same. My wife suffered many years of me smoking without much nagging and in the end I gave up on my own (6 months later I had a heart attack) but even that fact will not deter the 'it won't happen to me' person.
All you can do is lead by example and be there when they do need your help. Sorry if that's not much comfort but we all have to deal with things best we can.
 
I think you may all be right, maybe he is just shy about his diabetes, he has onlly had it for 5 years..... I just worry about him, he has lost so much weight since I first met him and does not look very well... Im not going to pry though!! I guess if he was worried then he could seek advice 🙄

Ill defo tell my old mate what northerner said about quitting, she is a year younger than me so about 25 :confused: lol I wouldnt of thought it was too late to quit either :D

And I also like a good drink on occasions so Im a fine person to mention that eh!! 😉
 
I went for a mini check up with the diabeties specialist nurse about three weeks ago. She was very pleased with me and the way I was controlling things. She said she wished people would take diabetis a bit more seriously.She has two patients who are brothers in their thirties and diagnosed around the same time, both Type 2, as I am. One brother is carrying out advice given to him and is looking and doing very well. The other brother has stuck his head in the sand and is now not a vey well man. I suppose some people can deal with it and some not so well, all part of being human with our frailities. It is hard going at times to keep a check on what we eat etc and we all get fed up with it, but well I just feel at 71 I'm too young to die and have got to much to do yet. I must add I haven't a clue as to who the brothers are as being a great nurse she gave no names or pack drill and I didn't ask, but it was interesting to see the health difference between the two brothers.
 
You're right muddlethru, 71 is the new 50! My aim is to be fit and active enough to celebrate my Alan Nabarro medal for 50 years of diabetes, when I will be 99! I suspect my telegram the following year will be from King William... 🙂

It is a shame when people don't get the support or personally feel capable of making the adjustments to stay healthy. Most of the diabetics I 'know' are those who come here either seeking or giving help, but clearly there are hundreds of thousands of people who don't, which does surprise me sometimes. Over half the country have access to broadband these days, so I'm always surprised why they don't seek out help for a very serious condition - spread the word people! 🙂
 
One of my friends has had T1 since she was 15 (now 29) and was great with advice when I was diagnosed. However, recently I think she doesn't follow any of it herself - never tests, drinks full sugar drinks etc. I was talking to her recently about the sudden death of one of my friends from cancer, and it turns out that one of her friends also died suddenly, in a coach crash 2 years ago. I think since then she has had the attitude that you have to live life now as you could die at any time. Which is a great attitude to take, except that she applies it to her diabetes too, as in "why worry about BG levels, because you could get run over by a bus tomorrow". I think she needs to realise that while that's true, you could also live to 80 and don't want to be left with no legs and eye sight! But I don't know how I can bring it up really. Her team make her go to see them every month and she just sits there and makes up BG results, but I presume her HBA1c isn't good, and hopefully someone will get through to her.
 
I think that I have taken more notice recently due to the fact that I have just had a baby, I know it sounds so simple but I didnt realise how important it was for me to be healthy until my baby came along....
Im just glad that I have had fairly good control throught my 21 years of diabetes (the best ever over the last year).
I should add that im not complication free, as I have BG Retinopathy (cotton wool spots) but only seen once a year to be checked up on....
I wouldnt want to preach to anyone at all but I find it so hard to think that people are ignoring such an imprtant thing, and that there are so many bad complications due to diabetes...
I dont want to die a painful, slow, death due to having bad control or making bad decisions, but then thats my opinion and not everyone see's it like that until perhaps the complications become irreversible :confused:
 
It's my ambition to live to 100 years and 1 day, just long enough to tear up the telegrams and be reviled as a senile delinquent. In order to achieve that goal I have to try to 'manage' this blasted disease as well as possible, so I'll try my hardest. If that means not drinking, staying off the sugar, watching my numbers and taking some pills, I'll do it.
 
May I take this opportunity to ask for a bit more understanding for your GPs having to deal with these kind of patients - not a very nice part of the job to know what you may have to deal with in the future. Of course if your GP is rubbish they probably don't care, but mine does.
 
Vicsetter said:
May I take this opportunity to ask for a bit more understanding for your GPs having to deal with these kind of patients - not a very nice part of the job to know what you may have to deal with in the future. Of course if your GP is rubbish they probably don't care, but mine does.
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That's a very good point Vic, and must lead to a lot of feelings of hopelessness for them when they are trying to get people to take care of themselves. I'm always careful to make sure my doctor and DSN know how much I appreciate their help, which I hope helps them feel that their efforts are worthwhile.
 
As I said, I don?t know that its all that neglect to look after oneself or ones health? there are often complex psychological factors involved? especially in the years following diagnosis?

Those that struggle to look after themselves aren?t not wanting to look after themselves? otherwise there would be no struggle, and the often simplified attitude from doctors and those that don?t appreciate what?s happening of ?why don?t you just test your blood/take the injection/insert negative action here??, is kinda like saying to an anorexic ?why don?t you just eat??? if only it was that simple.

In fact, I think the attitude at best is unhelpful, and at worse can be destructive for the person? blaming and shaming the person, for behaviours which, although may seem in their control, at that time are not.

It worries me that even medical staff don?t recognise the fact that psychology plays a part (other then with depression), I had to fight hard to get any help at all, others may not. My hospital department didn?t have a diabetes psychologist, but I did end up seeing a health psychologist, most of the things I was going through were pretty regular to people having to change their lives around due to health reasons? and considering diabetes can be a pretty dramatic change to lifestyle it hardly surprising that plenty of people struggle like this.

Not that I?m saying there aren?t people that aren?t that bothered, I?m sure there are many? which is probably part of the reason those struggling aren?t identified.
 
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