update

[Natalie123]

Hi All,

Sorry I have been gone for a while. I got back from my holiday in Devon last Wednesday. I had a lovely time camping, walking and yes, I did indulge in the odd cream tea! I spoke to my supervisor on my first day back and he recommended that I finish my phd and write it up as an MSc instead. I got rather upset because I feel like a failure. I went home to speak to my parents after that which helped a bit but now I just feel really down again. My house is a mess but I can't find the energy to sort it out, I just keep wanting to get away from it all and then just curl up and do nothing when I get back.

In a way it is good that my supervisor told me what he thinks, sometimes I need to be told that the stress is damaging my health, I just feel really pathetic and am avoiding him at the moment, I can't for long though as he wants to speak to me again soon.

I hope everyone is well, big hugs to you all xxx

 

[Northerner]

Hi Natalie! Glad to hear you enjoyed your holiday 🙂 Please don't feel like a failure - gaining an MSc is certainly not a failure in my book! In fact, I'll let you into a secret if you promise not to tell anyone - I only got a third in my degree, and one of the reasons was because I had a lot to deal with when I was your age. I was disappointed at the time, but as time has gone by I have come to realise that I probably couldn't have done any different and it has never really affected my employment prospects etc. So don't worry over what might have been - take pride in all you have achieved! 🙂 Take the bull by the horns, see your supervisor and start looking forward. 🙂

 

[rachelha]

Natalie, I did 2 years of a PhD and came away with absolutely nothing. It was making me really miserable, I was so stressed about it all, and my eating habits became awful. Quitting was actually the best decision I ever made, I felt so relieved once I was away from it.

 

[Natalie123]

Thanks Alan and Rachel. Rachel - that sounds like me! I am in my second year at the moment and yes, it has made me rather miserable not to mention the comfort eating 😱

 

[Steff]

Natalie I thought about you Sunday night(dont ask ahah),glad you enjoyed your hols hun x x Please dont fell like a failure your far from it

 

[Andy HB]

Agreed. You are absolutely NOT a failure.

I bottled out after the BSc phase, so you're well ahead of me on that score and I haven't done too badly.

The thing is, do what YOU want to do, not what other people expect you to do. But take into account where you want to be in the future. If you can endure something undesirable for a bit, but come out way ahead, then it may be worth it. But only you can judge that.

Good luck with everything (and you should see the state my house gets into sometimes!).

Andy 🙂

 

[bigpurpleduck]

Good to hear from you again Natalie 🙂

Glad you enjoyed your holiday. As has been said, an MSc is no meant feat, so don't feel like a failure. Admitting that you're having difficulty with your PhD and putting your health first is a very brave decision so you should be proud of yourself.

There's more to life than housework! Treat yourself to a soak in the bath & your favourite movie.

 

[margie]

Natalie - if your course is making you ill its not worth it. If you have your MSc that will be fine.

We are often our own worst enemies and are more worried about what others will think about our decision rather than what we are losing by not making that step. The people close to you and who love you will support your decision - they want what is best for you and that includes you being healthy and happy.

{{{HUGS}}}

 

[SacredHeart]

Natalie - postgrad study is not easy, you are totally not alone in thinking that! I'm halfway through an MA, and good grief, it has not been easy balancing everything. I can relate. Halfway through this last year, I wanted to pack it all in, really. I was not getting the marks I wanted, despite working my socks off, due to being really unwell with swinging levels throwing me all off balance, stressing me out, and making my levels (and my IBS) worse. Don't feel bad. An MSC is a major accomplishment. You're not a failure 🙂

 

[Natalie123]

Thanks everyone. You're all wonderful. I am going to speak to my supervisor tomorrow. A bath sounds like an excellent idea, I will leave the washing up for once!