Update/advice re my daughters anxiety problems

[MeanMom]

Some of you kindly advised me a while ago about K 's anxiety problems. 😱 Her doctor wanted her to see the school councillor to see of that would help her rather than try the CAMHS route. She has done this a couple of times and I saw the councellor with her last week (which councellor would like to do again) K 's attendance since half term has been better than prior to it but she has only done 4 days each week and this week not at all yet.

School now want to refer it back to doc for CAMHS help, and we have an appointment this with doc. If this is way to help her than fine, but the thought of this is worrying K even more - she thinks she will be taken into care

Now I come to the advice bit, please. My Mum is due to visit for a week tomorrow, and I know this is partly the cause of latest 'relapse'. The thought of anyone coming to stay (which would disrupt her routine) is bad enough bu


t she knows I would have to give some attention to Mum, and feels bad that I
would have to neglect Mum if K needed me to. She does not want me to tell Mum not to come but she feels she cannot cope with her here. To be honest I can't face having to cope with them both, but I do want to see Mum, and this was to be the Christmas visit

Any advice would be welcomed, even if it's to tell me to stop being such a wimp!

 

[Catwoman76]

Some of you kindly advised me a while ago about K 's anxiety problems. 😱 Her doctor wanted her to see the school councillor to see of that would help her rather than try the CAMHS route. She has done this a couple of times and I saw the councellor with her last week (which councellor would like to do again) K 's attendance since half term has been better than prior to it but she has only done 4 days each week and this week not at all yet.

School now want to refer it back to doc for CAMHS help, and we have an appointment this with doc. If this is way to help her than fine, but the thought of this is worrying K even more - she thinks she will be taken into care

Now I come to the advice bit, please. My Mum is due to visit for a week tomorrow, and I know this is partly the cause of latest 'relapse'. The thought of anyone coming to stay (which would disrupt her routine) is bad enough bu


t she knows I would have to give some attention to Mum, and feels bad that I
would have to neglect Mum if K needed me to. She does not want me to tell Mum not to come but she feels she cannot cope with her here. To be honest I can't face having to cope with them both, but I do want to see Mum, and this was to be the Christmas visit

Any advice would be welcomed, even if it's to tell me to stop being such a wimp!

Aaawww bless you, do not think of yourself as a wimp. You are just a very concerned parent who only wants the best for your child. K is obviously at the top of your priority list. If it was me then I would probably have a heart to heart call with your mum, explaining everything that you and K are feeling at the moment. Your mum is obviously a caring person like you are, and letting her know the whole situation, then I'm sure she will do her upmost not to upset or aggravate the situation at all 🙂

Think of her as a lovely christmas you have both received and she will be a very useful one, I'm sure🙂

Try not to worry too much, I know its easier said than done, it does sound so worrying for you all. With very best wishes Sheena XX Big hugs for (((((((((K)))))))))))

 

[Copepod]

Without knowing the logistics of who lives where / how far apart etc, please feel free to ignore, but perhaps there is scope for compromise, say, if your Mum could stay somewhere other than your house eg a willing local friend's or relative's house or B&B? Or a visit shorter than 1 week?

 

[Caroline]

I can't offer you any advice, but you are not a wimp. You are a concerned mum and daughter with rather a lot to worry about. Perhaps the doctor or the councillor at school can offer some suggestions? I hope things sort out for you and everyone is happy withthe outcome.

 

[Ellie Jones]

I'm assuming that K's anxiety problems is all based on difficulties coming to terms with her diabetes...

Perhaps doing a compromise and Mum coming for a shorter visit than intended!

Hopefully by going down the compromise route you can have the balance between keeping K's near her comfort zone but not overwhelming her which might undo how far she's come.

 

[Hanmillmum]

Hi, hope you don't mind my two penneth worth 🙂 Trouble with any anxiety disorder whatever the cause and background is often wanting to avoid things that make you feel uncomfortable/anxious, however this can then be a maintaining factor with more and more things can become uncomfortable and hence avoided.
I agree with others who have suggested some form of compromise that mum still comes but ? shorter duration or stay nearby and lots of reassurance and support to K during that time, yes she might feel anxious but you'll be there and she'll get through it etc

Hope you can work something out x

 

[Blythespirit]

I can't really add to what's already been said but just wanted to add my best wishes. You certainly aren't a wimp! Don't even go there. I hope you can sort something out that suits everyone. Sending you hugs. XXXXX

 

[trophywench]

And I just wanted to say, if you put your momoff, then K will feel guilty you had to do that for her, so think it's one of them things that K is just gonna have to face - ie it's real life that's all, nowt special - and much as you want to you cannot protect her from all of it.

But by all means try and make it easier for K by making it a shorter visit or something.

 

[MeanMom]

Thanks for support😱🙂

It was my thinking too that it would be better not to put Mum off coming - can't really shorten visit or stay elsewhere (mum knows situation and offered to stay away) - I think she will have some days out with my Aunt (who lives in an OAP home) and so not be home when K gets in from school.

Some good news (I think) from visit to docs just now - K has been referred to CAMHS at last and (fingers crossed) the person she might see is the councillor she already sees at the D clinic Would be so good if it was as K will not have to start again and this lady is lovely and has been such a help already, just it has only been at clinic (last clinic was July) and the odd phone call.

Also doc agreed we should check K's Thyroid to see if meds correct and also to do the Hb... which will save me doing it AND we will know before clinic for a change!

So feeling much more positive than earlier and also that I'm doing the right thing re Mums visit. Thanks to all 🙂

 

[Blythespirit]

Ooh. Sounds like things are working out for the best. Fingers crossed that it stays thay way and that they can sort something out to make K happier. XXXXX