Type 1 diabetes - my husband is my carer

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Rakshu06

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Hi all, I am new here!

I am a type 1 diabetic and often struggle with severe burnouts and I am significantly dependent on my husband for support with all day-to-day tasks such as cleaning, washing, preparing food. My job hours are 9-6 and I am very tired after work to do anything as well as often have to rest on weekends leading to no recreation or relaxation time. My husband is being asked to go to office more frequently even after he has mentioned about my condition. I strongly feel this will make managing my diabetes, managing all associated health issues and just generally continuing my job almost impossible as he won’t be able to support me or even worse, he might get sick himself trying to do it all. Has anyone experienced this kind of issue before? Any advice would be highly appreciated.
 
Sorry to hear about what a difficult time you are having @Rakshu06

How long have you been living with this level of exhaustion?

Have you had conversations with your GP or diabetes clinic to see if you might have CFS or ME?
 
Welcome @Rakshu06 🙂 An obvious question, but can you not simply reduce your hours? That way you wouldn’t be using up all your energy at work and would have some spare for yourself and your husband.
 
I’d also suggest reducing your hours, or can you apply for PIP (if you’re not able to wash, dress, cook, inject without support then you should be eligible, even though it’s hard to get) then use the PIP money to hire a carer for some visits on your husbands office days?

I don’t want to ask personal questions so don’t answer if you don’t want to, but do you have a diagnosis for the cause of not being able to take care of yourself independently? Is there a charity for that condition that you could approach for advise on any improvements in how you manage it?

Personally I have ME/CFS and so reading about pacing, reducing work hours, and some medications such as amitriptyline have been really helpful in managing my condition better. It’s still not perfect and it still rules my life really but I do a lot more of the basics than I used to. I live alone so independence in basic care is really important to me.
 
@Lucyr I read it as ambiguous - maybe ‘wash’ as in wash oneself or maybe ‘wash’ as in do the laundry because it mentions cleaning and preparing food too - ie household chores. I assume it’s the latter.

@Rakshu06 What are the associated health conditions you mention? Do you have other conditions apart from the diabetes?
 
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Reduce hours as mentioned if possible?

Are you blood glucose levels in range? Or constantly on the high side?

When I was first diagnosed I had not gone to the doctors very quickly at all, kind of hoped whatever the problem was would go away on its own! I felt exhausted and could have slept at any time during the day!
 
Hi and welcome from me too.

I am not sure if you are aware or not, but It isn't typical/normal with Type 1 to be exhausted all the time and to need the level of support you describe, so I too wonder if there is some other condition or illness, that needs investigating or has perhaps already been diagnosed? We have members here who have suffered diabetes burnout and have found techniques to deal with it and can perhaps give you some tips on that. If you can tell us a bit about what you struggle with as regards your diabetes management, then perhaps they can offer suggestions. Are you getting support with your diabetes management through a hospital clinic or just at your GP practice?
If it is another condition which is causing the fatigue then you need help learning to manage that and perhaps some medication as @Lucyr mentions.
 
I wasn’t sure if it was diabetic burnout, general burnout from doing too much, or burnout related to another medical condition. The OP mentioned her husband being her carer so I wonder whether she has a disability maybe?

@Rakshu06 Do tell us as much as you feel comfortable with so we can offer more tailored advice 🙂
 
Thank you all for your truly informative responses.

A bit of an insight to my situation - I do not always need to be dependent on my husband, but from time to time when I am forcing my body to live up to certain obligations I become very sick. This has been happening very frequently for the past year to the point where it is becoming regular. A few examples of this are:

1. I had covid 3 weeks ago and my recovery has been very slow
2. My new job (which I have been doing for 7 months now) requires me to travel 2 hrs each way meaning 4 hrs of travel whenever I go to office and the company has offered me flexible working for now but asks me to go to office 3 days a week and more if required. I have noticed I face severe exhaustion if I do it more than twice a week. I am unsure if this is normal as I have never done this before.

Therefore, it seems to me that this is more of a burnout issue rather than anything else. On top of that upon an A&E visit a week ago I was told I could potentially be dealing with autonomic dysfunction and to do a follow up with my gp. I am currently being treated under my gp and they have not referred me to a specialist even though my hba1c has been consistently high for over a year.

There is no option for me to reduce my hours unfortunately but a little flexibility over my office attendance permanently would be truly beneficial, again I am afraid to bring this up as it may lead to the loss of my job.

I would highly appreciate if someone could provide advice or support links for burnout management for the time being. Also any tips on quick burnout recovery would be appreciated.

Many thanks to you all.
 
I’d be exhausted doing all that travelling too @Rakshu06 My totally serious advice is to find a new job. Life isn’t about grinding yourself into the ground for an employer. No wonder you’re tired!

More than that, your long work and commuting hours and subsequent exhaustion aren’t giving you any time or energy to try to sort out your blood sugar. This is a priority. It’s also possible that the effect of your job on you is raising your blood sugars. It certainly sounds like it’s damaging your health.

Imagine having a job that isn’t too arduous and that allows you to share chores with your husband and have the energy for some leisure times. This isn’t something unattainable or out of reach to you. Start looking for a new job now, and if you feel so desperately tired then take some sick leave from your current job.

I changed jobs in the last year and the difference is incredible.
 
Rakshu06 said:
Thank you all for your truly informative responses.

A bit of an insight to my situation - I do not always need to be dependent on my husband, but from time to time when I am forcing my body to live up to certain obligations I become very sick. This has been happening very frequently for the past year to the point where it is becoming regular. A few examples of this are:

1. I had covid 3 weeks ago and my recovery has been very slow
2. My new job (which I have been doing for 7 months now) requires me to travel 2 hrs each way meaning 4 hrs of travel whenever I go to office and the company has offered me flexible working for now but asks me to go to office 3 days a week and more if required. I have noticed I face severe exhaustion if I do it more than twice a week. I am unsure if this is normal as I have never done this before.

Therefore, it seems to me that this is more of a burnout issue rather than anything else. On top of that upon an A&E visit a week ago I was told I could potentially be dealing with autonomic dysfunction and to do a follow up with my gp. I am currently being treated under my gp and they have not referred me to a specialist even though my hba1c has been consistently high for over a year.

There is no option for me to reduce my hours unfortunately but a little flexibility over my office attendance permanently would be truly beneficial, again I am afraid to bring this up as it may lead to the loss of my job.

I would highly appreciate if someone could provide advice or support links for burnout management for the time being. Also any tips on quick burnout recovery would be appreciated.

Many thanks to you all.
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Id suggest you either need to change jobs, or look into workplace accomodations for disabilities, if you can get a referral to occupational health perhaps you can arrange flexible workplace location on medical grounds that way
 
when I am forcing my body to live up to certain obligations

This jumped out at me when I re-read your post @Rakshu06 You shouldn’t be forcing your body to do anything. Work isn’t as important as you and your family life. Why sacrifice your health and well-being for a job? Reduce your hours or change your job basically. If you’re that tired that you can’t do basic chores, you’re either ill or you’re in the wrong job. It’s not fair on your husband either. You need a better work/life balance.

You’re still in your 20s. You should be enjoying life and enjoying your time with your husband. It sounds like it’s not the diabetes so much as you pushing yourself too hard. Even if you earn a vast salary, it’s simply not worth damaging your health and home life for.
 
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