Think partner may have burnout towards me or my diabetes

[T1DM2004]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post on this forum so I'll try and keep it short!

As you all know the weather in Britain has been hot over the last few days. Well today my blood sugar levels have been a pain and will not stop plummeting below 4 mmol/mol. I decided to have a nap earlier because I was feeling wiped out so I let my partner know that I was going to sleep for 20 minutes. I passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow and fell into a deep sleep. Unaware that I was having a hypo. My libre 2 sensor was sending out an alarm to both my and my partners phone but I did not hear it. My partner, however, did but dismissed it and failed to check on me.

After waking up in a pile of sweat 20 minutes later, I realised what had happened and asked my partner why he hadn't checked on me, knowing that I don't tend to wake up to hypos. He got defensive and told me "I thought you could look after yourself". He didn't seem to care at all. I know that I am an adult and I can look after myself but I feel like I just lost a lot of trust in him and don't know if I'm safe living alone with someone who could do that to me. Am I overreacting?

 

[Lucyr]

I’d say your overreacting, you’re an adult so your diabetes is your responsibility. If you know the alarms don’t wake you then you need to take action to make your phone louder until it does wake you, not rely on other people. It’s nice if others help yes, but you shouldn’t expect them to, it’s your responsibility.

 

[T1DM2004]

Thank you, I thought that may be the case. I'm looking for a bluetooth speaker that will stay connected to my phone over night. Do you think it's normal then for someone's other half to not be concerned even in the slightest?

 

[Bruce Stephens]

Do you think it's normal then for someone's other half to not be concerned even in the slightest?

No, that seems odd to me. Sure, it's our responsibility to do what we can to keep ourselves safe and that includes trying to avoid drifting into hypos.

But sometimes it's going to happen despite our best efforts, and I'd hope someone who cared about me would try to help.

 

[Pumper_Sue]

Thank you, I thought that may be the case. I'm looking for a bluetooth speaker that will stay connected to my phone over night. Do you think it's normal then for someone's other half to not be concerned even in the slightest?

Perhaps have a reader and a phone so both alarm. I'm assuming the Libre has a reader.
I would also suggest you reduce your insulin if you are having a fair few hypos due to the heat, as nothing will change unless you change it.

As already stated it's your condition and your responsibility to look after yourself.

 

[Lily123]

Perhaps have a reader and a phone so both alarm. I'm assuming the Libre has a reader.
I would also suggest you reduce your insulin if you are having a fair few hypos due to the heat, as nothing will change unless you change it.

As already stated it's your condition and your responsibility to look after yourself.

The Libre can only connect to one device for alarms. Or at least for Apple devices

 

[Bruce Stephens]

The Libre can only connect to one device for alarms. Or at least for Apple devices

It can only use one device for alarms, yes. But can't one get two phones to alarm by using LibreLink or something like that? I've not used it, but I thought there was a way to do it. No, it's called LibreLinkUp, but it does exist.

 

[T1DM2004]

Yeah you can only use libre alarms on one device but librelink app can be put on multiple phones. Some people connect their phones to speakers so they can hear them throughout the night so I'm going to give that ago and try to lower my fast acting insulin. Thank you everyone for the advice though, I know that my diabetes is my own responsibility and think I doubt my own ability to look after it sometimes, which is really silly I know! It's nice knowing that there's a backup when someone cares, I think I got a bit complacent.

 

[Bruce Stephens]

It's nice knowing that there's a backup when someone cares, I think I got a bit complacent.

If it were me, I think I'd want to talk it over with the other person.

I can imagine they might feel awkward trying to wake you up from a planned nap, for example, so it might be worth explaining when and why that really would be appropriate in this case. (And emphasise that you really will be happier if you're woken up in that case rather than left to go further into a hypo.)

 

[Proud to be erratic]

Yeah you can only use libre alarms on one device but librelink app can be put on multiple phones. Some people connect their phones to speakers so they can hear them throughout the night so I'm going to give that ago and try to lower my fast acting insulin. Thank you everyone for the advice though, I know that my diabetes is my own responsibility and think I doubt my own ability to look after it sometimes, which is really silly I know! It's nice knowing that there's a backup when someone cares, I think I got a bit complacent.

I generally use both the reader and my android phone, so my alarms come from my reader. I have vibrate on as well as sound and when in bed it sits on top of a small plastic food container which amplifies the vibration as well as the sound. When I previously was phone only, I used to garden with my phone safely stowed near by in an old enamel mug and that greatly amplified the sound; I guess a small saucepan would do the same. Some experimenting perhaps?

If you do try to have LibreLink as well I'd be interested to know how that worked out. Can you have Librelink on a phone that already has LibreView? If not are 2 phones too much hassle?

 

[nonethewiser]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post on this forum so I'll try and keep it short!

As you all know the weather in Britain has been hot over the last few days. Well today my blood sugar levels have been a pain and will not stop plummeting below 4 mmol/mol. I decided to have a nap earlier because I was feeling wiped out so I let my partner know that I was going to sleep for 20 minutes. I passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow and fell into a deep sleep. Unaware that I was having a hypo. My libre 2 sensor was sending out an alarm to both my and my partners phone but I did not hear it. My partner, however, did but dismissed it and failed to check on me.

After waking up in a pile of sweat 20 minutes later, I realised what had happened and asked my partner why he hadn't checked on me, knowing that I don't tend to wake up to hypos. He got defensive and told me "I thought you could look after yourself". He didn't seem to care at all. I know that I am an adult and I can look after myself but I feel like I just lost a lot of trust in him and don't know if I'm safe living alone with someone who could do that to me. Am I overreacting?

With recent temperatures think we all have had to make basal adjustments, so best do same if haven't already.

As libre 2 user myself have alarms set bit higher than standard setting to give me time to react if necessary, so when you get speaker issue sorted to wake you try doing same, that way you can stop hypos before they happen, this will help you preserve your hypo awareness symptoms & make you feel more confident overall.

Hypos are pain but with tech we have now they can be mostly prevented, have very few now thanks to libre 2.

 

[gillrogers]

Sorry to hear that, I’ve had trouble to but thankfully not that bad , as it was happening all day I realised it was my basal needing to be lowered due to the heat. I suspect your basal was the cause. Not your meal time fast acting.

 

[Jago]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post on this forum so I'll try and keep it short!

As you all know the weather in Britain has been hot over the last few days. Well today my blood sugar levels have been a pain and will not stop plummeting below 4 mmol/mol. I decided to have a nap earlier because I was feeling wiped out so I let my partner know that I was going to sleep for 20 minutes. I passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow and fell into a deep sleep. Unaware that I was having a hypo. My libre 2 sensor was sending out an alarm to both my and my partners phone but I did not hear it. My partner, however, did but dismissed it and failed to check on me.

After waking up in a pile of sweat 20 minutes later, I realised what had happened and asked my partner why he hadn't checked on me, knowing that I don't tend to wake up to hypos. He got defensive and told me "I thought you could look after yourself". He didn't seem to care at all. I know that I am an adult and I can look after myself but I feel like I just lost a lot of trust in him and don't know if I'm safe living alone with someone who could do that to me. Am I overreacting?

“Living alone with someone…” does that sound right? - I live with my wife she receives my hypo alarms (at her request) - and I have woken up with her hovering over me with a jelly baby …
Or had a nudge with her saying “you slept through your alarm - you’re low” … I feel guilty that she woke up - but she won’t turn off the alarms….

I don’t know what your relationship is like- but in my mind a relationship is about sharing: love, food, memories, friends, family … but most importantly your life …with all its ups and downs… I take pleasure in helping my wife and being there for her … and assume she does the same when she helps me - in a relationship there should be no need to go it alone…

I think you should talk to your partner - make sure he understands the risks of a hypo, how he can help and what you want/expect from him in these situations … talking and understanding are important… I imagine he will be on side - but if not … life is too short to spend time with people who are only willing to share your ups and aren’t willing to share your downs - none of us are perfect…

 

[rebrascora]

Thank you, I thought that may be the case. I'm looking for a bluetooth speaker that will stay connected to my phone over night. Do you think it's normal then for someone's other half to not be concerned even in the slightest?

My partner isn't the least concerned about my diabetes but if I ask him to do something specific he will do it.... Like a few weeks ago I mistakenly injected 24 units of Fiasp instead of my basal insulin Levemir and I was on my own and battling to get enough carbs into myself before the Fiasp took me down (My usual breakfast dose of Fiasp would be 3.5 units, so I needed to eat a lot and when you are panicking and levels are dropping it makes it that much harder) I rang him and explained what had happened and asked him to ring me every 10-15 mins until I was over the peak of activity and if he didn't get a reply to come home and check on me. Thankfully I managed to get enough carbs into me in time but he dutifully rang me every 10-15 mins to check on me because I asked him to do that. Not because he was remotely concerned.
If I hypo through the night he sleeps right through it and I just deal with it, which is fine with me.

If your body is not waking you up for hypos then set an alarm to wake you up to check your levels, but prevention is key so adjusting your Basal dose when the weather is hot would be a sensible precaution if this is causing you to hypo. I need to adjust my basal doses on an almost daily basis depending upon weather and activity levels etc. Learning how and when to adjust them is the key to good diabetes management in my opinion.