Gwynn
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 2
Before...life was fun, exciting, the world was my lobster (?)
Then diagnosis and my world shrank to a tiny tiny dark place, isolated and afraid, confused and frightened. I thought the end of everything had come and I didn't know what to do.
Two things then changed.
1. I found this web site having trawled the internet-getting confused. Here I found the information and experiences really helpful and motivating. Good, positive, accurate, real information. I had a glimmer of understanding and hope, and yet the chorus of 'everyone is different' worried me.
2. My normal engineering problem solving head switched on. Others had been through the mill and come out the other side in better shape. Not perfect perhaps, but way better. Maybe I needed to embrace my differences. Learn from my 'data'.
It is odd to think that an illness can make you better both mentally and physically. For some this can happen. But that was a journey I was about to discover.
So I tried to think 'bigger'. What was it that caused my downfall. What could I do. What did I need. Who do I rely on. What worked (or didn't).
Ahhh, there's the rub. Who do I rely on. What data was good and useful. Did I really have to gather lots of information? (After all wasn't that what the GP was for?) Well. Of course the answer was, 'I had to take control as best I could'. I needed to test test test to get some data. I needed to record everything and look at the data (without fear). I needed to change my lifestyle. Ouch!
So I did. Not complaining, but seeking positive, enjoyable new ways. A completely new diet. Exercise. More positive thinking (I am normally very positive, but a worrier..I changed that into being very positive and a 'warrior').
The data was not good initially but did get better over time. I was initially fearful of the BG results and overwhelmed by my weight (like looking up at Everest knowing that was where I had to go). Over time, My BG settled, my weight came down, I felt better. And better. And better.
But then, small world thinking started to creep into my head. If my BG was a tiny bit down or up, if my weight stayed the same or, heaven forbid, went up, it would ruin my day. Seriously, I felt 'down' as if my efforts were a waste of time and doom was inevitable. Way over the top reaction.
Until.... I reminded myself of where I had been, what I had learned, the enormous changes I had made, the improvements I had seen, and how well I generally felt now. Yes, well.
How silly I felt, sitting there feeling glum looking at a BG reading of 4.9 or weight sticking at 66.5Kg.
So, what to do? What to think?
Two things I had to remind myself of.
1. BG naturally varies, even for 'well' people and slight variation is not the disaster I felt it might be. It was fear that had been taking a hold of me. But for every day when there was an 'odd' reading, the feared unknown disaster had not happened.
2. The body readjusts itself as you 'loose' weight. So when things remained the same or I gained weight it was simply that I needed more patience as my body changed for the better.
3. I felt really well and had more energy (being wasted by feeling glum).
4. Natural, real food now tasted good and I didn't seem to crave the old sweet things
5. None of my old clothes now fitted. Hooray!
Ok, so I can't count.
Now, I look to the bigger picture and my 'mood' always improves. There is stil, sadly, the initial feeling of disappointment, until I capture that thought and turn it around. I still claim to be a human with feelings and expectations and desires, etc
Famous film quote from one of my favourite films 'Never give up never surrender'
It's a journey (and a long one at that). It's not a destination.
Then diagnosis and my world shrank to a tiny tiny dark place, isolated and afraid, confused and frightened. I thought the end of everything had come and I didn't know what to do.
Two things then changed.
1. I found this web site having trawled the internet-getting confused. Here I found the information and experiences really helpful and motivating. Good, positive, accurate, real information. I had a glimmer of understanding and hope, and yet the chorus of 'everyone is different' worried me.
2. My normal engineering problem solving head switched on. Others had been through the mill and come out the other side in better shape. Not perfect perhaps, but way better. Maybe I needed to embrace my differences. Learn from my 'data'.
It is odd to think that an illness can make you better both mentally and physically. For some this can happen. But that was a journey I was about to discover.
So I tried to think 'bigger'. What was it that caused my downfall. What could I do. What did I need. Who do I rely on. What worked (or didn't).
Ahhh, there's the rub. Who do I rely on. What data was good and useful. Did I really have to gather lots of information? (After all wasn't that what the GP was for?) Well. Of course the answer was, 'I had to take control as best I could'. I needed to test test test to get some data. I needed to record everything and look at the data (without fear). I needed to change my lifestyle. Ouch!
So I did. Not complaining, but seeking positive, enjoyable new ways. A completely new diet. Exercise. More positive thinking (I am normally very positive, but a worrier..I changed that into being very positive and a 'warrior').
The data was not good initially but did get better over time. I was initially fearful of the BG results and overwhelmed by my weight (like looking up at Everest knowing that was where I had to go). Over time, My BG settled, my weight came down, I felt better. And better. And better.
But then, small world thinking started to creep into my head. If my BG was a tiny bit down or up, if my weight stayed the same or, heaven forbid, went up, it would ruin my day. Seriously, I felt 'down' as if my efforts were a waste of time and doom was inevitable. Way over the top reaction.
Until.... I reminded myself of where I had been, what I had learned, the enormous changes I had made, the improvements I had seen, and how well I generally felt now. Yes, well.
How silly I felt, sitting there feeling glum looking at a BG reading of 4.9 or weight sticking at 66.5Kg.
So, what to do? What to think?
Two things I had to remind myself of.
1. BG naturally varies, even for 'well' people and slight variation is not the disaster I felt it might be. It was fear that had been taking a hold of me. But for every day when there was an 'odd' reading, the feared unknown disaster had not happened.
2. The body readjusts itself as you 'loose' weight. So when things remained the same or I gained weight it was simply that I needed more patience as my body changed for the better.
3. I felt really well and had more energy (being wasted by feeling glum).
4. Natural, real food now tasted good and I didn't seem to crave the old sweet things
5. None of my old clothes now fitted. Hooray!
Ok, so I can't count.
Now, I look to the bigger picture and my 'mood' always improves. There is stil, sadly, the initial feeling of disappointment, until I capture that thought and turn it around. I still claim to be a human with feelings and expectations and desires, etc
Famous film quote from one of my favourite films 'Never give up never surrender'
It's a journey (and a long one at that). It's not a destination.
Last edited:
You should put that quote in your sig