Teens and diabetes

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AlicePalace

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Hi going through a bit of a hard time at the moment I am just wondering if there are any young people to talk to I don't have many friends and because of my anxiety and selective mutism I find it hard to make friends. I am struggling with my bloods at the moment because I am so stressed they are all over the place
 
Hello, I’ve been a teen. But that was nearly 40 years ago? Not a lot changes. “Mutism?” I kept my self to myself when things went wrong. Even back then I found it hard hanging out with the “cool kids?” Found the losers more “real.” We could chew the fat till the early hours. Still no good for my diabetes with the late nights. But hey, we still communicate on Facebook. I found myself more articulate as I got older. Hope you find your voice.
 
Thanks. I left school a few years ago and I thought I had a good group of friends we weren't popular but always looked out for each other but over the years I lost touch with all of them but one friend who lives in Wales
 
AlicePalace said:
Thanks. I left school a few years ago and I thought I had a good group of friends we weren't popular but always looked out for each other but over the years I lost touch with all of them but one friend who lives in Wales
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Friend circles naturally “evolve?” Some familiar faces do move on. It’s just how it progresses? One of which is now my wife. She started out as an “outsider” on a brand new circle of friends I fell into (acquaintance sharing a house with one of them.) then we hit it off when I knocked the door & my new friend wasn’t in. No internet then. Hopefully, some people your own age can answer your topic?
 
I’m parent to an autistic teen who was selectively mute for a few years around the time his brother got diagnosed with diabetes. Do you play online games or anything like that where it’s social but not having to be chatty?


Blood glucose will have its ups and downs. As long as you’re covering the basics with your insulin you’ll be ok. Are you on a pump or pen?

Friendships are a lot about being in the same place (virtual or real world) x time. If you also have something in common then that makes it even more likely that you’ll be friends. Once the proximity drops off friendships naturally tend to drift. Do you have any special interests? My eldest likes board games and is part of an Anglo-Saxon reenactment group (I’m not allowed to call them vikings )
 
Not really I keep in contact with my friend that lives in Wales through Facebook. I have been on a pump for the last year and a half (2 years February next year) I have tried speech therapy for my selective mutism but it hasn't helped and once I was over 18 the children's team discharged me and there isn't an adults team in my area. I turned 20 on Tuesday
 
If your blood sugars are being a pain, then that won’t be helping. Up and down blood sugars can make us feel surprisingly bad and will make things worse.

As for friends, it’s normal for your number of friends to drop after school, especially if you don’t go to uni or college. This is no reflection on you. I think you’d find that you’re not an outlier, and that other people your age have less friends too. If you want to find more, then you need to be more social. That doesn’t necessarily mean talking. Just getting out can help, eg to an adult education class, local walking group, hobby group, volunteering (libraries are good because there’s not much talking), or make friends online.

If it’s your anxiety holding you back, then counselling is very good. You won’t be forced to talk beyond your comfort zone. Is the selective mutism recent or did you have it through childhood. It’s more unusual to have it as an adult but there’s help out there. CBT can help, as can psychological help.

At your age, it’s all about finding your place in the world. It’s natural to feel a bit unsettled and unanchored almost, as you’re in an in-between stage. There’s a place for you out there 🙂
 
Have you thought of volunteering at a charity shop, they are usually looking for people who can help, not necessarily in the shop but sorting and pricing the donated items.
My nephew who has Down's syndrome used to love going and helping out a couple of days a week.
 
Sorry to hear your BG levels are giving you a hard time @AlicePalace

That can be a nasty cycle can’t it. Life gives you stress… Stress gives you wobbly BGs… Wobbly BGs give you stress… Stress makes wobbly BGs harder to deal with… And round you go!

Do you have any hobbies or interests (or things you have fancied trying) that you could use to help give you spaces for interactions / company? There may be a bunch of local groups, or classes, or volunteering opportunities near you that you could start ‘on the edges of’ to find your feet and build confidence.

Sometimes just ‘being near people in a group doing a thing’ can really help - even if you aren’t smalltalking and interacting very much at all.
 
AlicePalace said:
The area that I live in doesn't have any thing for people my age to do. There is a library and a park near me but that's it really
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Is there a gym you can join? The classes at gyms are often popular with younger gym-members, and you’re busy with the spin / pilates / hiit or whatever so don’t have to chat much 🙂
 
AlicePalace said:
The area that I live in doesn't have any thing for people my age to do. There is a library and a park near me but that's it really
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Libraries sometimes take volunteers. Can you take a bus or train?
 
AlicePalace said:
There may be I don't know
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Online is a good source of information. Try Google but also look at your town’s website. It will have a What’s On section. The town websites are often called something like VisitHappyville or whatever. Local council websites also have facilities information and sometimes information about clubs as well.
 
AlicePalace said:
Not really I keep in contact with my friend that lives in Wales through Facebook. I have been on a pump for the last year and a half (2 years February next year) I have tried speech therapy for my selective mutism but it hasn't helped and once I was over 18 the children's team discharged me and there isn't an adults team in my area. I turned 20 on Tuesday
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Even if there isn't an adults speech therapy team in your area, it may be worth asking your GP to refer you to the local NHS Psychological Therapies (or Counselling) service: such services can often help people who have selective mutism - and may even have access to a speech therapist.
 
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