Talking about being a diabetic

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J

Jacinta (Australian)

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
hello lovelies ,
I had a visit from my mother before and she asked how my diabetes was and I said fine but I don’t really want to mention it,she basically ripped my head off because it’s still a touchy subject for me , I know I have it but I just don’t like talking about it . I basically have it under control and what not but why is it still a touchy subject to talk about ?????
 
Totally get it, dont talk about diabetes to anyone outside of forum, even then dont discuss personal stuff as always been private person.

Tbh nobody asks about it but suspect they know not to ask about it, not sure really, then again do have relations with type 2 & never ask them about diabetes & they do likewise, long before their diagnosis.

Everyone has right to some privacy no matter how well meaning people are.
 
Nobody's ever asked me about mine, except medical people I'm at appointments with. I know it's your mum, but she shouldn't snap at you if you don't want to talk about it.
 
I'm pretty open about it now but at first, I didn't want to tell anyone.

I think eventually talking about it with friends and family has helped come to terms with it all and realise it isn't a part of my life that needs to be shut away and hidden.

Everyone is different and needs to be done at your own pace <3 Big hugs to you x
 
I don’t talk about it much because I get irritated by the misconceptions and have got a bit fed up reeling off the same information year after year. If someone is genuinely polite and interested, I’m happy to talk and explain a lot, but often people just launch off talking about Type 2 (I’m Type 1) or tell me their Great Aunt Agatha had it and cured it by not eating cake, or ask why I don’t just take “the tablets” instead of doing injections 🙄

Perhaps your mum was just concerned about you @Jacinta (Australian) and it came across badly? Just have a stock phrase to repeat, then you can smile and move on eg “I’m fine, thank you, and how is your foot/job/family” or whatever.
 
I don't advertise that i am type 1 diabetic but if my close friends see me checking my sensor or finger stick or pdm i tell them and they ask a few questions and i answer them.I dont hide what i am doing.
 
I don't hide my diabetes and will mention it.
However, being asked 'how's your diabete" by someone who knows nothing about blood sugars, let alone Hba1c, usual gets a "it's fine" response. Then we move on to far more interesting topics
 
“How’s your diabetes?” Me “ still here!” Nowt more to say really. Or you could start reeling off facts and figures and technical terms, Hba1c for example. That’ll soon shut them up. No one would ever ask how your constipation/haemorrhoids/toe fungus is!
 
eggyg said:
“How’s your diabetes?” Me “ still here!” Nowt more to say really. Or you could start reeling off facts and figures and technical terms, Hba1c for example. That’ll soon shut them up. No one would ever ask how your constipation/haemorrhoids/toe fungus is!
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Just me then?
 
Thankyou guys , I know she means well as she is my mother and I love her dearly but I usually make it short talk about it . I don’t know why it’s different to my fiancée that I can just tell him but he doesn’t always ask me about my diabetes all the time and we keep it short and sweet then he just cuddles me. Where my mum may of came off the wrong side because she doesn’t have what I have and I know she’s trying to understand but I think what made me keep the conversation short and her ripping my head off was because she basically said oh you aren’t on insulin are you ??? , your keeping control to the point you aren’t getting bad ???. But it was the way she said it that I didn’t want to talk about it . I’m just not ready to have that long conversation because she also makes me feel guilty for not telling the other family members because she again asked yesterday and I said sorry mum I’m not ready to do that , then here comes the guilt trip of oh if you don’t tell the other family members and there kids as they would find out that they have it, you would feel guilty because you didn’t mention to them. No one tells me there health problems and I rightfully don’t ask, not that I don’t care but to me I find it to personal to ask so I just don’t. She did mention that I’m looking good as commented that I’ve lost weight and I said thankyou and I hugged her .
 
me...." i have been diagnosed as diabetic"
Mother: "I told you you needed to lose weight".

everyone else has been very supportive. She's improved a bit now but mothers are quite judgemental I find.
 
I expect you have a pretty good instinct about whether talking about your diabetes is helpful for you and with whom you are most likely to have supportive conversations.
I like talking about my diabetes because I have found it a fascinating experience and it has turned into my main interest as it sparked a whole new way of cooking and eating and I am enjoying every moment. I have always been a bit of a 'mad scientist' type so I even find checking my blood sugars etc quite interesting and I like to spot patterns and notice activities and situations that cause differences.
We are all different and having boundaries and sticking to them is part of what makes us all individuals.
I hope eventually that nobody will be embarrassed about being diabetic or being overweight because nobody ends up with either through any fault.
 
My initial conversation with my Mum, when I told her I had diabetes, was along the lines of
"OMG you are going to have to have your feet cut off"

Unfortunately, as many of us on this forum know, there is a lot of ignorance about diabetes amongst people who don't have it (and some who do).

To continue the tale, eighteen years later, my Mum is far better informed and my feet are still attached ... and running (literally) well.
 
Mrs Mimoo said:
me...." i have been diagnosed as diabetic"
Mother: "I told you you needed to lose weight".

everyone else has been very supportive. She's improved a bit now but mothers are quite judgemental I find.
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Oh Mrs Mimoo , I’m so sorry that your mother has said that to you , unfortunately my mother was the exact same even before I was diagnosed with diabetes , she was like oh daring you need to loose weight , you look unhealthy , you need to eat more healthier , when I was and my reoccurring utis lead me to being diagnosed to having it . I must admit I was on the heavier side but she would remind me every time I spoke to her or she seen me , which lead me to not wanting to talk to her at all , or she would do the I’m only trying to help , me : yes mum but I don’t need the constant reminding every time I talk to you , you tell me . Mother : well you need to loose weight and I notice she repeats her self constantly . I gave up and just started ignoring it until she says you hear me and I change the subject .
 
NotWorriedAtAll said:
I expect you have a pretty good instinct about whether talking about your diabetes is helpful for you and with whom you are most likely to have supportive conversations.
I like talking about my diabetes because I have found it a fascinating experience and it has turned into my main interest as it sparked a whole new way of cooking and eating and I am enjoying every moment. I have always been a bit of a 'mad scientist' type so I even find checking my blood sugars etc quite interesting and I like to spot patterns and notice activities and situations that cause differences.
We are all different and having boundaries and sticking to them is part of what makes us all individuals.
I hope eventually that nobody will be embarrassed about being diabetic or being overweight because nobody ends up with either through any fault.
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Yes my instinct does tell me if I want to talk about it or not, I talk to my doctor about it and my fiancée which is fine because they don’t judge me nor do I feel judged. , every time it comes up with my mother I feel judged I know I shouldn’t but I do , I also don’t like to be made to feel guilty because I haven’t told my family members about it , to me I feel like I’ll be judged by them for even having it that’s why I keep quite and to me I feel like no one really needs to know unless I feel entirely comfortable telling them . I hardly ever see my other family memebers so of course I’m not going to just open up like my mum wants me to . If I don’t feel comfortable around people I won’t open up especially about my medical conditions. I use to have a strong bond with my sister and brother but to me I won’t go out of my way to just say it . I want to be able to do it at my own pace where it could take years or months and not feel pressured by my own mother and to then to be made to feel guilty for not saying anything if the other members end up with it . That’s mostly the reason why I won’t even open up about it , if my mum didn’t try and make me feel guilty or even mentioning it then I probably would of found it in me to say it but at the moment it’s not on top of my important list to just let them know.
 
helli said:
My initial conversation with my Mum, when I told her I had diabetes, was along the lines of
"OMG you are going to have to have your feet cut off"

Unfortunately, as many of us on this forum know, there is a lot of ignorance about diabetes amongst people who don't have it (and some who do).

To continue the tale, eighteen years later, my Mum is far better informed and my feet are still attached ... and running (literally) well.
Click to expand...
My mother was more worried about what type I was , where I got it from (or it was my fault) that I need to eat healthier and the biggest major one was loosing weight . She was also worried about my eyes but I had them checked last year and I was completely fine expect my eye problem that I was already born with . Admittively I still need to book an appointment to do with my feet for it but the appointment is expensive as hell even with Medicare subs-divide . I’ll get it done I promise I’m just not happy with how much they charge is all .
I’m hoping my mum will get better in time with the hole diabetic thing and I noticed she’s started the oh you can’t eat that situation and I already know what I can eat and can’t eat so I just ignore it now .
 
Omg can totally relate. Was and still is one of my least favourite conversations to have and like a few of you have said hate the preconceptions that other people have like can you have that cake?! Grrrrrrrr
I am confident to treat in public and happy to say I have the condition but only when I feel that I'm in a safe non judgement situation will I open up but these situations are quite rare.
I always felt quite lonely and like noone could relate to how I was feeling and the daily struggles that come hand in hand. However in a much better head space and definitely agree with forums like this and meeting fellow type 1s on my DAFNE course I know have the outlet and understanding and no longer feel so isolated.
 
I don't mind talking about it but questions like is it stabilised or is it under control do anoy me as I either have to bite my tonguee or explain it's not Ihat simple.
 
rayray119 said:
I don't mind talking about it but questions like is it stabilised or is it under control do anoy me as I either have to bite my tonguee or explain it's not Ihat simple.
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I’m trying my hardest to not get so irritated about it but it just I’m still not ready and I don’t like being pushed to do something that I don’t want to do . I usually say I just don’t want to talk about it then I get the why , you need to talk about it and everything else in that scenario and I just say I really don’t and I’m not ready to and then that’s when I get my head ripped off
 
Would she get the message if you asked her how all her ailments are doing?
 
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