Struggling

[grainger]

For the first time I think the enormity of what type 1 diabetes has hit me today and I can't stop crying :-(
Sorry to write such a depressing post at this time of day but if I don't write something down somewhere where hopefully people will understand I think I may go nuts...
I'm finding this so tough, my CGM wasn't horrific but there is so much I can improve on and it just makes me feel exhausted. You learn in DAFNE that you shod be able to eat what you want but let's face it that's not really true. I'm just so tired if it.

I know I shouldn't be negative and I am so very lucky in so many ways its just I'm tired today, I just want to be able to start a family but I feel like I'm never going to get there.

Sorry again

 

[Northerner]

Absolutely no need to apologise, things can be very overwhelming at times. Try to just tackle one thing at a time. Try to simplify things where possible, even if it means being boring with what you are eating. I've never really subscribed to the idea that you can eat what you want just because you have insulin available as a tool - the more complexity you introduce in terms of snacking or higher carb meals, the less accuracy you have with dosing accordingly and maintaining good control. Perhaps also look for other areas of your life which may be taking unnecessary time and effort, so that the diabetes feels less of an additional burden on top of everything else.

And you can rant about it any time you wish here - we truly understand how you are feeling. Keep sharing how you feel so that we can help and support you - I hope things look much brighter for you very soon 🙂

 

[newbs]

We all totally understand where you are coming from, and have all felt like you do, so don't apologise at all. Diabetes is hard to come to terms with, and hard to understand - I've been Type 1 for 12 years and still learn new things (mostly from this board) all the time. In terms of starting a family, with the right help and support, you will get there and all the hard work and effort will be so worth it.

Be kind to yourself. (((hugs)))

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

Sorry to hear you are feeling like this G. But something I'm sure we all feel from time to time.

Like Northie I think that the 'eat anything and dose for it' line given on some DAFNE courses doesn't really work day to day, though I do find it a helpful mindset for celebration times of year (birthday/Christmas).

There are thousands of T1 women who have healthy pregnancies every year and give birth to beautiful, happy, healthy babies. It does take effort and discipline, but I am sure you will be able to do it. I've been really enjoying Alison's pregnancy blogs on www.shootuporputup.co.uk

Hope you feel brighter soon.

 

[Ivy]

I get like this too sometimes. I think it could be very easy to fall into a pit of depression thinking 'Why me?' but I always try to remind myself that there are people with far worse illnesses than diabetes.

Hope you feel better soon!

 

[Phil65]

Try to stay positive Grainger, everyone feels down sometimes. Try to focus on the pros of diabetes. For me, I stopped smoking, eat healthier....sometimes! And generally live healthier than I did before diagnosis. I have regular health checks which also act like a kick up the bum if something is slipping. Diabetes is just an inconvenience to me these days....frustating though!

 

[Flutterby]

Hugs Grainger - I only said to hubby last night "I am so sick of this" It does get you down when the numbers aren't right, we do understand so feel free to share any time you need to.x

 

[Lauras87]

*hugs*

I know how you feel, someone once said to me that type 1 sucks & it sometimes really does!!!

 

[Steff]

Grainger your only human Hun like the rest of us diabetes can be so so frustrating at times when things aren't going great we often feel like we are hitting our head against a brick wall. Try and remain positive and use this place to vent your highs and lows, we are all here and know the feelings oh so well that your feeling right now.

((((((hugs)))))

 

[AJLang]

I'm sorry to hear that you are finding it so difficult at the moment. I know that it may not seem it at the moment but you will start to feel better. After 42 years of diabetes I can genuinely say that the majority of time it will fade into the background, during the bad times be kind to yourself

 

[grainger]

Thank you all for such lovely replies, made me crag (again!) but in a good way 🙂

It means so much to know that there is a place I can't vent/rant where I know people understand. I have a long way to go but I am determined not to let this beat me. Just need to take it a small step at a time rather than trying to fix everything all at once I guess (patience is not my strong point).

. I admit I will probably allow myself to wallow a bit more tonight (my hubby rang earlier to say he's going to cook dinner for me later and then just cuddle me all night long - I am seriously lucky in so many ways... Why do I always focus on the rubbish stuff... Must get priorities in order!)

Sorry I haven't replied to everyone individually, typing on mobile and can't figure out how to quote!

Thank you for your support, it's amazing how much strangers can help put things in perspective and provide comfort, so thanks for taking the time to reply 🙂

Hannah x

 

[grainger]

Crag = cry!!

 

[pgcity]

Aw. I am so sorry your having a hard time at the moment. Big hugs

 

[trophywench]

WELL ! - why the heck are you apologising?

You probably feel worse about it now than you did at the beginning just after you were diagnosed - because it hasn't happened for a while, so you kind of think you are being silly and making too much fuss. Am I right?

Thing is over the years the gaps in between the attacks of the Why Me's just get longer and longer, so when I get one (yup, 41 years later) out of the blue it takes me a while to remember what's up with me. But once I work out what's causing it I know to just let it take it's course, and let myself wallow in self pity for a bit.

It's dead NORMAL. It's part and parcel of the GRIEVING process.

Some days - I really, really miss my dad and he died 20 odd years ago. It happens! And it goes away again.

{{{Hugs}}}

 

[grainger]

Hey all,

Trophywench I think you hit the nail on the head, I feel bad for feeling bad! But as you rightly pointed out (as did one of my mates the other night) it's not an easy thing to have to deal with and she said "being reminded everytime you eat anything must suck"so I guess I am still grieving...

But...

On the positive I've dusted myself down, got my sugars slightly more under control again and have just spent a fortune on an online shop at sainsburys ready to start the breakfast trials from Sunday onwards... be warned I may post results for help!

Thanks for all the hugs everyone - I hope that you are all enjoying your Easter Breaks 🙂 x

 

[Northerner]

Well done for picking yourself up and being positive! 🙂 Bring on the questions! 🙂

Hope you have a nice Easter weekend also.

 

[lauraw1983]

Aww Hannah just saw this here, sorry not been about much! I know I have spoken to you already but yeah....you know what....sometimes it DOES just suck!!!

I had that moment of "it's so facking EXHAUSTING" all this at the end of last year and did crumble a bit tbh. And I don't have the fact that I want a baby in there too, it's a huge thing to deal with BUT you will do it, especially with this forum to help you.

Lots of love xxxxxxxx