• Please Remember: Members are only permitted to share their own experiences. Members are not qualified to give medical advice. Additionally, everyone manages their health differently. Please be respectful of other people's opinions about their own diabetes management.
  • We seem to be having technical difficulties with new user accounts. If you are trying to register please check your Spam or Junk folder for your confirmation email. If you still haven't received a confirmation email, please reach out to our support inbox: support.forum@diabetes.org.uk

Son of Mum with recently diagnosed type 2 in her 80s

R

Richard42

New Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Carer/Partner
Hi all,
My Mum was recently diagnosed and has just started on insulin. However the damage has already been done to her legs, and she is almost immobile now - unable to stand unassisted and even then almost impossible to turn. Her legs just don't respond. It is very challenging getting her onto a commode from her armchair, and she has given up on the bed. At least her armchair fully reclines as well as tilting up to help stand.

Has anyone got any practical tips please?

Cheers

Richard
 
Welcome to the forum.
It would be helpful if you explain a bit more about your mother's diagnosis, and if this is in addition to any other medical conditions which would explain her lack of mobility, that is if you are willing to do so. Has this only been since her diagnosis.
Are you her sole carer as It sounds as if she may be entitled to some home care to help with the basics of personal care. The GP should be able to arrange assessment.
Is she managing her medication herself. It does seem as if there is something else going on.
 
She was told she was pre-diabetic a few years back, but there seems to have been a lack of followup which meant that it developed into type 2 without anyone noticing. It is only because my Mum had a hospital stay back in May, initially to try and find out why her left leg was not working, and they started regular blood tests that they confirmed type 2 and started her on Insulin. She was seen by a stroke doctor as that was the initial thought. She had had a couple of falls, and can't get up on her own, and then was starting to find it difficult to walk as her left leg would not flex at the ankle or bend much at the knee, so she had to drag the leg. She came out after 3 weeks only to have picked up sepsis and was rushed back in after a few days at home. The hospital focused on the sepsis this time, and made little effort IMO to investigate her decreasing mobility, even the rare physio visits (she was in nearly 4 weeks this second time).

Now she is home, I have to manually lift her onto a commode, she sleeps in her chair, and this has all happened rather suddenly! Roughly since April/May. As I say though, I think the type 2 developed years ago, but remained untreated until now, so too late to repair the nerve damage in her legs?

She has had a nerve conduction study, and the stroke consultant we saw yesterday talked us through the results, although with the caveat of it not being his area of expertise. Very poor to non-existent readings in both legs, with the left being the worse.

I am her sole carer, and other family are over 200 miles away. We currently have a council provided care package for a few weeks aimed at easing someone back into home from a lengthy hospital stay. Once they finish, we would then have to pay for any care package going forward, due to my Mums financial position.

We have recently placed an order for an electric bed (before we got the diagnosis), thinking that with a small improvement in her mobility she could make use of it. Now that seems very unlikely without some sort of hoist.

Although there is the possibility that it is something else, and perhaps we should ask for a second opinion, if it is neuropathology then I am looking at what practical steps I can take to improve our lives going forward, and we can afford reasonable bits of equipment, adaptation if they provide an improvement.

Thanks

Richard
 
Has she had an OT assessment? OTs can help you to know what equipment there is out there as it’s the sort of knowledge you don’t have until you need it. It sounds like she may be able to use a sarah stedy if she can take her own weight when standing which is easier to use than a hoist. The issue long term with sleeping in a recliner is that she will be more prone to sores because of the lack of movement. It’s worth pushing for physio if you can as any movement and strength she can retain will help long term. Community physio at home is difficult though so it may be that you need to take her to appointments. If you’re lifting her please for your own back get trained in how to it safely.

Long term have a think about care homes. My mum’s story is similar to yours in that she had sepsis and mini strokes which limited her mobility. It was then lockdown so physio wasn’t available and she’s been in a home since.

Other practical things to think about. Does she have lasting power of attorney in place? If not do it asap. Not only does it make it easier in terms of practicalities financially it also means that doctors can give you full information.

Does she have a glucose sensor? And do you know what the readings mean? Anyone on insulin may get hypos and you need to know what to do in that situation.
 
Hi @Richard42 and welcome to the forum. A couple of thoughts for you. I know from my own experience that getting to the bottom of neurological problems (unless the root cause is blindingly obvious) is problematical. Your mothers problems might be diabetes related but they might not. It would be nice to know but in the end the problems as they exist need to be worked around, knowing the cause will not affect that very much.

You seem to have most bases covered but I would agree with @Thebearcametoo, push for OT assessments, if necessary making a bit of a nuisance of your self.

Can i also suggest you don't forget yourself. As a carer you are entitled to support. The quality of support is very post code dependent but it is worth exploring if only to find out about things local to you which might help you with your caring duties.
 
I would urge you to think of yourself as well in this situation as it sounds as if this is not going to be something of limited duration where people can 'muddle' through for a few weeks.
No disrespect but it is must be quite difficult for your mother to accept the personal care needed from a son asking for what she needs.
People often think that being cared for at home is the best option but not always so. Having someone else doing the caring you can then be her son which would be providing a different kind of support.
Finding a good nursing or care home or even a live in carer might be your best option.
But do seek help.
 
Thebearcametoo said:
Has she had an OT assessment? OTs can help you to know what equipment there is out there as it’s the sort of knowledge you don’t have until you need it. It sounds like she may be able to use a sarah stedy if she can take her own weight when standing which is easier to use than a hoist. The issue long term with sleeping in a recliner is that she will be more prone to sores because of the lack of movement. It’s worth pushing for physio if you can as any movement and strength she can retain will help long term. Community physio at home is difficult though so it may be that you need to take her to appointments. If you’re lifting her please for your own back get trained in how to it safely.

Long term have a think about care homes. My mum’s story is similar to yours in that she had sepsis and mini strokes which limited her mobility. It was then lockdown so physio wasn’t available and she’s been in a home since.

Other practical things to think about. Does she have lasting power of attorney in place? If not do it asap. Not only does it make it easier in terms of practicalities financially it also means that doctors can give you full information.

Does she have a glucose sensor? And do you know what the readings mean? Anyone on insulin may get hypos and you need to know what to do in that situation.
Click to expand...
Lots of brilliant advice here!!

Occupational Therapy were fantastic with both mum and stepdad. They will come and ask questions about mobility, general health, mental health and make suggestions as appropriate. They will also make arrangements for the correct equipment to be supplied to help family to stay at home, if this is what you want.

My mum is currently in an assisted living facility and it's a lovely place. When my stepdad died, there was absolutely no way she could have maintained staying in the house alone. It's not a cheap place (over 5k per month) but the peace of mind for all of us is worth its weight in gold. To be honest it doesn't work out much more than paying for carers to come four times a day, seven days a week, which is what she would have needed.

You both need to have some practical conversations about long-term care and the future. Staying at home (for older people) is often what they desire but the reality of this is much, much harder than the dream. You will also need to take into account, as has already been mentioned, will she want you (her son) taking care of personal care? Also, do you feel comfortable doing this for your mum?

My mum would have just festered at home and given in. As it is, she goes out on day trips, has daily activities, has a proper routine and is safe, which is the most important thing. Good luck, it's not easy xx
 
Hi Richard, and welcome to the forum.
Thank you for sharing so openly about everything going on - it sounds like the last few months have been incredibly intense for both you and your mum. You've clearly been doing everything you can to support her, and it’s understandable that you’re now trying to look at the road ahead and how to manage things in a sustainable and dignified way.
You've had some really thoughtful and practical replies already, and I would echo the suggestions around pushing for an OT assessment and exploring any help that might be available for you as a carer. It’s a huge role to take on, especially when you're on your own with it, and it’s okay to ask for support - both for your mum’s sake and your own wellbeing.
It’s completely understandable to be thinking about equipment and adaptations that could help day to day, but I also really respect your openness to exploring all options - including care outside the home if that ever becomes the right choice for you both. These aren’t easy conversations or decisions, but it’s clear you're thinking about them with a lot of care and compassion.
Do keep reaching out - you’re very welcome here, and I hope the forum continues to be a supportive space for you through all of this. Take care <3
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top