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son needs help

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M

mandyhs

New Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Parent of person with diabetes
hi
i have found this site and need a little help to get my son to control his diabetes, he is insulin dependent and just cant seem to manage he just shuts himself off, he is 20 years old and still lives at home but his blood sugars are very high he goes to the clinic for his reviews but never seems to get much help although he says he is telling the docs that he is struggling, he has been diabetic since he was 14 and the first year went well but its been downhill since then, he is very thin and was a chubby kid and was made a fool of at school so does not want to go back to that, he eats a lot of rubbish hence is sugars are high he knows that in the long term this is bad and he has been in tears a few times about this along with myself, i am so worried that something bad is going to happen, he also hates taking his sugar levels as he says it is sore doing it all the time, i get very frustrated with him as he thinks that i am always moaning at him but i am just concerned and worried please can someone help.
 
Hi Mandy I'm really sorry to hear that you are both having such a difficult time. Has your son been taught how to calculate his insulin based upon his carbohydrate intake? e.g. through attending a DAFNE course. There is also an online course - I haven't got thd details but I'm sure that someone else will post them for you.
 
It is difficult to help sometimes. Perhaps your son could join this forum? Or at least come and have a look. There are many young adults (teens and twenties) here and he may find it helpful to share his experiences. If he is around next time you log on ask him to just take a look.

Although my big boy doesn't have diabetes, sometimes I find it hard to show concern with out nagging and moaning at him, or take an interest without being nosey or prying.
 
Hi Mandy, Im afraid I dont have any answers for you, but I just wanted to empathise with you. Reading your post, it could have well been me writing it about my son a few years ago. My son is 23 and has been diabetic from the age of 13. Pretty much like yours, he ran high sugars for quite a few years, and all I seemed to do was nag and moan, infact I sometimes feel that our relationship has become "diabetes based". Over the last few years, things have slowly been changing. Firstly he began to test every night before bed, but only because he had a seizure in the night, and it prob dawned on him that he needed to do this to avoid anything similar happening. Then he started going to the gym, seriously training and lifting weights, and he seemed to realise for himself that he needed to control things and ultimately make himself feel better. Dont get me wrong, its not perfect, but its a hard learniing curve growing up with diabetes(for us aswell) and all the things that other young people seem to do and get away with, are so much harder for them. My son still doesnt like to talk about it really, and wouldnt dream of coming onto a forum such as this, but I know that coming on here has helped me enormously. At least you can talk to people who understand.
 
Hi Mandy just wanted to welcome you to the forum x
 
Hi Mandy. Welcome 🙂

Us diabetics can be some of the most diffcult whatsits to sort out. We can become very withdrawn, depressed and refuse to help ourselves, but know that those around us want us to keep ourselves healthy. It's a really difficult one when you're so down that you can't face doing the things that will keep you alive.

It sounds like you could do with as much help as he does. You must be at the end of your tether with worry. If his clinic are of no use, could you try speaking to your GP in your own right. ie. tell them how worried you are and how it's affecting you and you may get across the enormity of the problem and they may then ask him for a chat. Assuming they're any use, they may be able to get inside his head and be able to get him some form of counselling.

The problem, at the end of the day, is his and only he can face up to it and solve it, but he clearly needs a lot of gentle help to find his way through.

Rob
 
keep moaning at him, we diabetics need that, even if we think we don't.........

I am confident he will get motivated eventually, sometimes it takes a while........

he needs to get educated with DAFNE or similar........that will show him that he can eat pretty much anything as long as he covers it with the right amount of insulin...........

what insulin is he on............?

what blood meter does he use.........? it shouldn't really be sore to test his blood, so making sure he has an up to date meter and that he knows how to use the lancet effectively and to change it regularly will help him have a pain free experience.........
 
Hi Mandy, Welcome to the forum. Lots of good advice so far! I think a lot of people, especially at your son's age, struggle with their diabetes including myself and find that ignoring the problem is the easiest way out. Unfortunately its not a sensible approach. For me, joining this forum has helped me to stay motivated although I do slip up sometimes! Perhaps your son might like to join us? It really helps to talk to others with diabetes even if you just want to moan and let of steam. Where are you based? I would always be happy to talk to him if he wants someone to talk to but it sounds to me like he probably doesn't want to - it might be best coming from his doctor.
 
Hi Mandy - Im so sorry to hear about your sons problems. You have come to the right forum for help - I hope he will decide to join too.

I have written a very long post and then deleted it as I wasnt really adding to what others have written and I dont want to lecture you but I have to say I am very concerned about your son and in particular one thing you wrote:

mandyhs said:
... he is very thin and was a chubby kid ... he eats a lot of rubbish hence is sugars are high
Click to expand...

Does he check for Ketones? Your description sounds like my daughter before she was diagnosed and she ended up in hospital (as many do).

I hope you can persuade him to ask for more help - and to keep asking til he gets it. Good Luck
 
Sorry to hear about your son's situation Mandy, would he want to join a forum like this so he can look at the various threads or ask questions at his own pace? x
 
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