So tired of arguing with the school

[MeanMom]

Good News is we've finally got K's referral to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health service or similar) for 21st Feb. Only 5 months after I first asked for it

Unfortunately K had one of her 'bad days' today and hasn't been to school. So I phoned school at 9am and told secretary, then phoned EWO so I could tell her (not school). I also told her the current 'straw that broke camels back' was school asking K of Friday if she would restart tech lessons. K said no, teacher said OK. But K has spent all weekend stewing about it and said she was worried they would try and make her. I was under impression that EWO had told school I was trying to persue getting K's vision properly assessed before she restarted the technical lessons. I am hoping to get her dedicated help not a shared TA. EWO had not told school anything of our discussions (weekly for last 4 weeks) because she had not had time to have meeting with them😡

I spoke to Dept Head who is also the SENCO and as usual made a right fool of myself because I just cannot make her understand K's problem. She (and EWO) just repeat the same old mantra 'but she must come to school' - this is a child who this morning said to me that she doesnt have to go to school, she can be home schooled, which would be safer as she is safe at home. I repeated my stance that I think school is better for many reasons, not least so she can socialise with people her own age, she said 'I don't need friends, I have you'

This makes me so sad and I cannot get anyone to understand what she is going through - she bottles it all up at school and I know can appear happy - these are her 'good days' - they don't see her bad days cos she can't go out the door and exhausts herself with the stress of it - she slept a hour this afternoon, and BS lunch time 18, tea time 24!

Sorry for long post - thank you for sticking with me, feel little better for rant😱

 

[Catwoman76]

Good News is we've finally got K's referral to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health service or similar) for 21st Feb. Only 5 months after I first asked for it

Unfortunately K had one of her 'bad days' today and hasn't been to school. So I phoned school at 9am and told secretary, then phoned EWO so I could tell her (not school). I also told her the current 'straw that broke camels back' was school asking K of Friday if she would restart tech lessons. K said no, teacher said OK. But K has spent all weekend stewing about it and said she was worried they would try and make her. I was under impression that EWO had told school I was trying to persue getting K's vision properly assessed before she restarted the technical lessons. I am hoping to get her dedicated help not a shared TA. EWO had not told school anything of our discussions (weekly for last 4 weeks) because she had not had time to have meeting with them😡

I spoke to Dept Head who is also the SENCO and as usual made a right fool of myself because I just cannot make her understand K's problem. She (and EWO) just repeat the same old mantra 'but she must come to school' - this is a child who this morning said to me that she doesnt have to go to school, she can be home schooled, which would be safer as she is safe at home. I repeated my stance that I think school is better for many reasons, not least so she can socialise with people her own age, she said 'I don't need friends, I have you'

This makes me so sad and I cannot get anyone to understand what she is going through - she bottles it all up at school and I know can appear happy - these are her 'good days' - they don't see her bad days cos she can't go out the door and exhausts herself with the stress of it - she slept a hour this afternoon, and BS lunch time 18, tea time 24!

Sorry for long post - thank you for sticking with me, feel little better for rant😱

Ooooohhhhh I feel so so sorry for you both, it seems as though you are hitting your head repeatedly against a brick wall your child is obvisously suffering and the school and the other organisations MUST understand this. Could you go higher in the education department or go back to your doctor and insist on help for your daughter. I don't know if you have done this and I apologise in advance if you have done all this. Have you tried this service it can help with many different and complex problems ? :- Wediko provides residential treatment, consultation, and school-based therapeutic services to children and families struggling with issues. I hope you can both get some peace and that things will improve for K. Take care you are in my thoughts Sheena

 

[margie]

It all sounds really stressful for you.

Is there a way of coming up with a compromise - for instance is there any way that K could use the internet to work from home but follow school lessons - a bit like when someone is a teleworker or those remote schools in Australia. I am not sure how practical it is but might work as a fall back on days when K won't go in.

That way she could interact with the class but have the safety net of home when she needs it.

I hope that you have some more success in getting the school and EWO to help you - is there an advocacy service you could use to try and get your point across.

 

[Copepod]

Hope CAMHS can come up with some new strategies - or at least have some influence over school / EWO and at least get them communicating with each other. It's not unreasonable at all that you assumed EWO was passing on information to school about your meetings. Obviously, should have happened a lot sooner than 5 months from referral, but no too long until 21st Feb.