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So mad

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M

MrsBoyle

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Parent of person with diabetes
my mum has told me she thinks its unfair on my children if i have anymore because Dylan is diabetic and they have a chance of getting it aswell.
and i was wrong to of gotten pregnant last febuary.

Thats like saying everyone with diabetes isnt aloud children and as soon as a child gets it there parents shouldnt have anymore children.

She has also called me and my husband lazy for not going out to work since he has had it.
And because we are trying to make our website a succsess that thats the most lazest way of working.

But my mother has cerabal plarsey (sp) and has never worked only recently got of her benifits because she has her boyfriend moved in.
 
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MrsBoyle im so sorry to hear that, what a thing to say to your own daughter, its your life and if you and you hubby choose to have more kids then thats your choice, she should be supporting you not giving you grief, if she knows how hard it is for you with diabetes in the family then surely she should be on your side xxxhugsxxx
 
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How horrible :(

Personally, I'd rather be here with diabetes than not be here at all!

Try not to let it get to you too much. You and your husband know what's right for you, and it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks.

Hugs! ((((MrsBoyle))))
 
Sorry to hear this Mrs Boyle. I got Type 1 aged 49 and no-one in my family is known to have had it in the past, so whilst some families might show a strong connection, the majority do not. There are many more familes with several children where only one is diabetic so it doesn't follow that all children will get it. Plus, whilst it is a horrible thing to be diagnosed with, there is absolutely nothing standing in the way of a child with diabetes in this day and age having an extremely happy, long and healthy life, achieving everything and more that a non-diabetic child could.

Be proud of your son and yourselves, you are doing a great job 🙂 Also, I'd like to wish you and your husband well with your website - your mother obviously doesn't realise that this is how millions of people work these days, times have changed! 🙂
 
Thats a horrible thing to say, especially from your mother, I wouldn't take much notice, hard I know......she obviously has some slightly old fashioned views on life.............

The risks for another child getting diabetes are reasonably low to be honest, but its not as if you have 5 who all have diabetes, then maybe you might need to think twice.....

It must be hard being a parent to a diabetic child, harder even than having it yourself, so you and the man can take all the time you need to give the best care you can..........

Good Luck with the website.......:D
 
Dear MrsBoyle,

I'm sorry to hear that your mum has said something hurtful things to you. We don't get to choose our families, or our trials in life, but we do get to choose how we let these things effect us.

As long as there is love in your life (and with Dylan and a new addition you have plenty!!), then you are doing ok. Diabetes is a pain sometimes, but there are far worse things inflicted on children every day.

And sometimes when people are in distress themselves, they strike out at those closest to them.

BTW, I have four kids - two are T1 and two aren't.....who can tell?😉
 
Hi MrsBoyle,

What an awful thing to say.😱

A persons value in this world is not determined by their state of health or whether they are not considered 'perfect' - it is valued by what they give to those around them and if they make a positive contribution to the world. Being diabetic does not make them any less of a person. Who knows what life holds for anyone, and as your mum clearly has some health problems herself - it seems a strange way of 'judging' others - especially her own grandchildren. There are 22,500 type 1 diabetic children in the UK - and every single one of them is wanted, loved and needed - just like every other child that has ever been born - they are all precious.

Ignore these comments and do what is right for you and yours - you dont need to explain your actions to anybody.🙂Bev
 
i think is awful when i will have my second one i really hope she wont be diabetic and what if she will ?there is not only diabetes in this life there are other condition that you cannot know before birth anyway!!!!!
 
I find that sometimes family members say the most horrible things, But usually it came out wrong or wording was badly chosen and actually they had good intentions.
I don't know the whole story but maybe, just maybe she doesn't want to see you hurting/feeling guilty and suffering the lack by having a diabetic child and the lack of sleep and worrying that goes with it e.c.t, and maybe she is concerned for your welfare re-finances or relationship and getting a job.

Of courses I could be wrong but I sincerely hope it all works out well.


Have some internet hugs for now
hug.gif
 
MrsBoyle said:
my mum has told me she thinks its unfair on my children if i have anymore because Dylan is diabetic and they have a chance of getting it aswell.
and i was wrong to of gotten pregnant last febuary.

Thats like saying everyone with diabetes isnt aloud children and as soon as a child gets it there parents shouldnt have anymore children.

She has also called me and my husband lazy for not going out to work since he has had it.
And because we are trying to make our website a succsess that thats the most lazest way of working.

But my mother has cerabal plarsey (sp) and has never worked only recently got of her benifits because she has her boyfriend moved in.
Click to expand...

Hi Mrs Boyle, that's a bit unfair isn't it. I do hope your website is a success and in the future, if you want more children, then go ahead. People/realives who are often unkind are like that becacause of their own short comings. So do whatever you want. Sheena x ps If I behaved like that to my grownup daughter, she wouldn't speak to me! and Tia and I would miss out on the granchildren, Tia's nieces and nephew.
 
It is so annoying people like them think like that, Im profoundly deaf I should not have children - well, I got 4 🙂 all healthy and hearing until Carly was dx last June and Im her full time carer - no matter what disablity or illness we have we all always get over the hurdles and lead a normal life, sometime better to prove them wrong so hold your head high up and ignore them 🙂
 
So sorry to hear that. Those kind of comments are awful when you could really use some support.
It is something like 15 times more likely for the child to develop type 1 when a sibling has it. But there are so many factors to consider, the predisposition alone isn't enough, you need something to trigger it, too.
I'm pregnant with our third child. My eldest has type 1 but I never considered not having more children because of it.

I really hope your mother can give you the support you need and be happy about her grandchildren. Sounds like she's got a lot issues herself and she's taking it all out on you.
Good luck with the website 🙂
 
Just spotted this (been away)

I am so sorry that you do not have the support of your Mum, especially when you need it the most. I know (partly) how you feel as my MIL has never been interested in her (only) grandaughter before or after dx, and K has only met her briefly 3 times. It sounds like you have a good hubby to lean on so try to concentrate on that and ignore your Mums comments (not easy I know)

(I answered the phone when the MIL phoned the other day and she thought she had a wrong number and hung up - or so she says🙄)

Good luck with the website x
 
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