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SILLY SILLY LIMERICKS

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
There once was a stitcher named Kay,
Who lost her last needle one day,
'Til her husband said, "Ouch!"
When he sat on the couch,
And Kay cried, "You found it! Hooray!"
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
A man and his ladylove, Min,
Skated out where the ice was quite thin,
Had a quarrel, no doubt,
For I hear they fell out.
It is lucky they didn't fall in!
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
I once took a trip down the Rhine
To partake of the fruits of the vine;
Drank too many of these
Trockenbeerenauslese,
But the taste was exceeding divine.
- Peter Wilkins
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
There once was a boy of Quebec,
Who was buried in snow to his neck.
When asked, 'Ain't you frizz?'
He replied, "Yes, I is.
But we don't call this cold in Quebec."

An important young man of Quebec
Had to welcome the Duchess of Teck.
So he bought for a dollar,
A very high collar,
To save himself washing his neck.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Two sweethearts named Mary and Ray,
When toasting a hundredth birthday,
Shared some snacks delicate
And then, south, did migrate,
Cheering, "Yahoo!" and "Hip-Hip-Hooray!"
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
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All Hallows' Eve is so scary,
So small boys and girls, please be wary
Of corpses all bloody,
And mummies all muddy,
And werewolves with paws big and hairy.
- J. Skellington
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
A thrifty young fellow of Shoreham
Made brown paper trousers and woreham.
He looked nice and neat
'Til he bent in the street
To pick up a pin… then he toreham
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
They say that ex-president Taft,
When hit by a golf ball, once laughed
And said, "I'm not sore,
But although he called 'Fore',
The place where he hit me was aft."
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Goliath was known for ferocity,
An expert in every atrocity,
But was knocked in a heap
By a boy who kept sheep…
A victim of teenage precocity.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
There was a young lady of Keighley,
Whose principle charms in her teeth lay.
When they fell on her plate,
She called out, "I hate
Mishaps of this kind, they are beathly."
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Although Jacqui and I have grown old,
We still treasure our games more than gold.
We still play hide 'n seek
Once or twice every week,
And so do our grandkids, I'm told.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
The fireworks last night were a smash,
But some of the food was such trash
I passed wind in the dark,
Then heard someone remark,
"I sure heard the noise, where's the flash?"
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
There was an old lady of Reading,
Who never knew where she was heading.
She'd start in the East,
On her way to a feast,
And end in the North at a wedding.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
In music, a man who fell short,
Was arrested, and taken to court.
He proposed in a theme
A more liberal scheme:
To release Mahler's Fifth as a quart.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Said an ape as he swung by his tail,
To his offspring both male and female,
“From your offspring, my dears,
In millions of years,
May evolve a professor at Yale.”
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
A quantum mechanic's vacation
Had his colleagues in dire consternation.
For while studies had shown
That his speed was well known,
His position was pure speculation.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
I once knew a sad girl named Hortense,
Whose mind was chock-full of ill portents.
She expected the worst
And she thought we were cursed
By original sin and its torments.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
There was a young lady of Kent,
Who always said just what she meant.
People said, 'She's a dear,
So direct, so sincere',
And they shunned her by common consent.

There once was a young man from Kent
Whose nose was terribly bent.
Some fine days, I suppose,
He would follow his nose,
And no one would know where he went.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
These resorts abound with the old,
Who do nothing but quibble and scold,
Discussing their tumours
And stock market rumours.
They are tangibly covered with mould.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
It is clear that Napoleon's Queen
Was referring to army routine,
When she said, in a flummox,
'Marchons-nous sur nos stomachs?'
And was told, 'Not tonight, Josephine.'
 
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