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SILLY SILLY LIMERICKS

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
A fruit-loving epicure, Herman,
Once bit a kumquat with a worm in.
His hunger was deadened
By tail or by head end,
But which one, he couldn't determine.
 

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Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
A quirky old gent, name of Freud,
Was, not without reason, anneud
That his concept of Id,
And all that Id did,
Was so starkly and loosely empleud.

Said Freud, "I've discovered the Id.
Of all your repressions be rid.
It won't ease the gravity
Of all the depravity,
But you'll know why you did what you did."
 

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
In Texas a hunter afield
Was arrested with weapon revealed.
He was told, 'While it's fun
Just to carry a gun,
The law says it must be concealed.'
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
It's time to make love, douse the glim.
The fireflies flicker and dim.
The stars lean together
Like birds of a feather,
And the loin lies down with the limb.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
The career of a Fellow called Castor,
One day met with sudden disaster,
When he came into Hall
Wearing nothing at all,
And made a rude sign at the Master.
 

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Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
There was a fat fraudulent friar
Begged alms to rebuild a church spire.
But they found he had fled,
Having sold all the lead
To a shady itinerant buyer.
 

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Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
There was a young woman of Glasgow,
Whose party proved quite a fiasco.
At nine-thirty, about,
The lights all went out
Through a lapse on the part of the Gas Co.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
There was an old drunk called Hieronymus,
Who joined Alcoholics Anonymous;
But with liver disease,
The shakes and D.T.s,
The prognostication is ominous.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
A computer called Illiac-IV
Had a rather tough bug in its core.
It chewed up its cards
And spewed yards and yards
Of illegible tape on the floor.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
I went to the doctor who said,
"You look awful; now lie on this bed."
Then he gave me a check-up
From knee-cap to neck up
And said, "You're most probably dead."

"Well, doctor, I hope you agree,
Since I'm dead, this appointment is free."
Then I got up to leave
And just couldn't believe
It… he charged me quadruple his fee.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
There's a lady in Kalamazoo,
Who first bites her oysters in two.
She has a misgiving
Should any be living,
They'd raise such a hullabaloo.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
The limerick's form is demanding.
To write one that's really outstanding,
You must stick to the beat,
Be sure rhymes don't repeat
And use four-letter words in the ending.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
There was a young woman named Ells,
Who was subject to curious spells.
While dressed up quite oddly,
She'd cry out things ungodly
By the palms in expensive hotels.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
A goddess capricious is Fame,
You may try to make noted your name,
But she either rejects you
Or cooly selects you
For laurels distinct from your aim.
 

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Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Said a calendar model named Gloria,
"So the men can enjoy real euphoria,
You pose as you are
In Jan, Feb and Mar,
Then in April they wanna see moria!"
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
There once was a man (you might know him)
Who worked all his life on a poem!
Though he tried and he tried
'Til the day that he died,
He never could think of a good ending for it.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
We went to the orchard in autumn
And out of the orchard we got'em.
They were juicy and red
And shaped like a head
With a dimple on top and the bottom.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
If you look very hard at the stuff in
This book, which is known as a Puffin,
You'll very soon know it's
Been written by poets
For money, of course, not for nuffin.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
A cheap diner in Kalamazoo
Served mice in their Mulligan stew.
To complaints, they said, "Chap,
Just fasten your trap.
You'll love the rich taste when you chew."
 
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