SILLY SILLY LIMERICKS

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There was a young fellow named Willy,
Who acted remarkably silly.
At a UNESCO ball,
Dressed in nothing at all,
He claimed that his costume was Chile.
 

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There was a young lady of Wilts,
Who walked to the Highlands on stilts.
When they said, “Oh, how shocking,
To show so much stocking.”
She answered, “Well, what about kilts?”
 

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There was a young fellow named Wyatt
Who kept a big girl on the quiet;
But down on the wharf
He kept also a dwarf,
In case he should go on a diet.
 

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There was a young lady called Wylde,
Who kept herself quite undefiled,
By thinking of Jesus,
Contagious diseases,
And the bother of having a child.
 

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Till explained by that wise Dr. X,
What did grandmama know about sex?
And poor grandfather too,
Did he know what to do?
Or, when at it, forsee its effects?
 

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Who’d wish to be wed to Xantippe?
When Socrates took his last sip, he
Died slowly, feet first.
After which his wife cursed
And remarked that her husband was lippy.
 

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"Buy that one… the prize of the year!"
Thus whispered a voice in my ear.
But later I frowned,
The beast was not sound.
I had purchased, I found, a bum steer.
 

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There once was a baby of yore
Whose parents found it a bore,
And being afraid
It might be mislaid
They stored it away in a drawer.
 

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An old Danish jester named Yorick
Drank a gallon of pure panegoric.
"My jokes have been dull,"
He said, "but my skull
Will one of these days be historic."
 

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There was a young lady of York,
Who was shortly expecting the stork,
When the doctor walked in
With a businesslike grin,
A pickaxe, a spade, and a fork.
 

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They say that I was, in my youth,
Uncouth and ungainly, forsooth.
I can only reply,
“’Tis a lie, ’tis a lie!
I was couth, I was perfectly couth.”
 

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There was a young lady of Ypres
Who was shot through both cheeks by some snipers.
The tunes that she played
Through the holes that they made
Beat the Argyll and Sutherland Pipers.
 

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Relationship to Diabetes
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When our deficit descended to zero
Our minister was considered a hero.
He ascended the chancel
But decided to cancel
The sermon, and dance a Bolero.
 

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There was a young fellow with zest,
Who strolled on the pier at Key West.
He liked being seen
In the Caribbean,
And never cared a bean for the rest.
 

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Some of these are lol. :D
 

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Upon high Olympus, great Zeus,
Muttered angrily, "Oh, What the deuce!
It takes spiced ambrosia
To get the nymphs cosier,
And Hera supplies grapefruit juice."
 

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There was a young lady of Zion
Looked around for a shoulder to cry on.
So she married a spouse
From a very old house
And started to cry on the scion.
 

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LOL rofl.gif
 
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