SILLY SILLY LIMERICKS

Contused

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Type 2
A certain young gourmet of Crediton
Took some paté de foie gras and spread it on
A chocolate biscuit,
Then murmured, "I'll risk it."
His tomb bears the date that he said it on.
 
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Contused

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
In New Orleans dwelled a young Creole
Who, when asked if her hair was all reole,
Replied with a shrug,
"Just give it a tug
And decide by the way that I squeole."
 

Contused

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
There was an old sailor of Crete,
Whose peg-legs propelled him quite neat.
"Strong liquor," he said,
"Never goes to my head,
And I know it can't go to my feet."
 

Contused

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
There was a young lady of Crete,
Who dreamed that she danced in the street.
Although it did seem
A peculiar dream,
There was mud on the soles of her feet.
 

Contused

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
A railway official at Crewe
Met an engine one day that he knew.
Though he nodded and bowed,
The engine was proud,
And it cut him… it cut him in two.
 

Contused

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
A society climber from Crewe
Enquired, "What on earth shall I do?
I of course know what's what,
But I fear I have not
The faintest idea of Who's Who."
 

Contused

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
There was a young lady of Crewe
Who wanted to catch the 2.02.
Said the porter, "Don't worry,
Or hurry, or scurry,
It's a minute or two to 2.02."
 

Contused

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
There was an old fellow from Croydon,
Whose cook was a cute little hoyden.
She would sit on his knees
While shelling the peas,
Or pleasanter duties employed on.
 

Contused

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
To a newsgroup for rhymers I cruised,
Whilst the rest of my family snoozed.
Now it's here I'll deposit
The rhymes from my closet,
In hopes that you'll all be amused.
 

Docb

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
A young man who was self isolating
Thought he'd score with internet dating.
He dropped the idea,
When it became very clear,
It would be a long wait for the mating
 

Contused

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Either…
A fanatic gun-lover named Crust
Was perverse to the point of disgust.
His idea of a peach
Had a sixteen-inch breech
And a pearl-handled .44 bust.

Or…
A fanatic gun-lover named Crust
Was perverse to the point of disgust.
His choice to despoil
Had zero recoil,
And a .44 magnum plus bust.
 

Contused

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
A musician fleeing from Cuba,
To start a new life in Aruba,
Packed most of his haul,
But the bag was too small.
He couldn't quite fit in his tuba.
 

Contused

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
"Damn! Why are you naked?" he cursed.
"For my birthday… it's my sixty-first…
I thought I'd look cute
In a real birthday suit."
"Well, next time, please iron it first!"
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
What led to the crassness of Custer,
With hardly a unit to muster?
At the little Big Horn,
Sitting Bull gave a yawn,
And said, "You're a sitting duck, buster!"
 

Contused

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Said Mendel, "Genetics are cute,
And I've just created a beaut.
I put a frog in a sack
With a political hack,
And got me a Newt in a suit."
 

Ditto

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
LOL at tuba and iron it first! :D
 

Contused

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
A cute secretary, none cuter,
Was replaced by a clicking computer.
'Twas the wife of the boss
Who put this deal across,
You see, the computer was neuter.
 

Contused

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Imagining Trick or Treat…

A bunny just left, a real cutey,
Now another thing comes seeking booty.
Red fire in its eyes,
Dripping fangs of great size,
Quick, Igor! A stake! Do your duty!
 

Contused

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
There once was a young man named Cyril,
Who was kissed in a wood by a squirrel,
And he liked it so good
That he stayed in the wood
Just as long as the squirrel stayed virile.
 

Contused

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
A limerick should brighten your day,
Be witty, perceptive and gay.
A neat little verse
Will do nothing worse
Than banish your bad blues away.
 
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