SILLY SILLY LIMERICKS

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Type 2
I confess, and my stomach confirms,
That something inside of me squirms,
When I read in the pages
Of history's Dark Ages,
Men partook of a Diet of Worms.
 

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
A bore asked in brief conversation
If I believed in reincarnation.
I said, "Yes! You of course
Were the front end of a horse…
Your presence is pure confirmation!"
 

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
A very smart lady named Cookie
Said, "I like to mix gambling with nookie.
Before every race
I go home to my place
And curl up with a very good bookie."
 

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
There was a young lady of Cork,
Whose Pa made a fortune in pork.
He bought for his daughter
A tutor who taught her
To balance green peas on her fork.
 

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
A naïve young lady of Cork
Was told she was brought by the stork.
But after a day
With a gent named O'Shea,
She distrusted all that sort of talk.
 

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Little Jack Horner sat in a corner
Extracting cube roots of infinity.
An assignment for boys,
This will minimize noise
And produce a more peaceful vicinity.
 

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
A Señora, who strolled on the Corso,
Displayed quite a lot of her torso.
A crowd soon collected
And no one objected,
Though some were in favour of more so.

Corso = promenade
 

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Have you heard about Mrs. Cotell?
She checked into the Eden Motel
For a blissful weekend
With the friend of a friend,
But when she got home, she couldna tell.
 

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
A fellow from Nome with a cough,
Would snicker and snortle and scoff,
At warm woollen drawers,
When going outdoors…
'Twas pneumonia that carried him off.
 

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Colonel Custer said, "Good folks, of course,
I do not have the slightest remorse
For what I have done
To see the west won
And just who is this guy, Crazy Horse?"
 

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
The cautious collapsible cow
Gives milk by the sweat of her brow;
Then under the trees
She folds her front knees
And sinks fore and aft with a bow.
 

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
A budding young playwright named Coward
Came into the Twenties and flowered.
He continued to sparkle
Until the Debacle…
Now the fruit is a teeny bit soured.
 

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
One for Geordies, Mackems and Sanddancers everywhere…

"Divvent fash, canny lass from Sou' Shiel's,
But yor Nan has jus' now cowped her creels.
This upset spectac'lar,
Expressed in vernac'lar,
Tells me that she'd gone head over heels."
- Contused

 

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
The cruellest of creatures, the crab,
With claws that can pinch you or stab,
And then when you dine
On crab and white wine
It gets you as well with the tab.
 

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
An eclectic collector called Crandall,
Acquired, with the aid of a vandal,
The bottled remains
Of John Maynard Keynes,
And the organs of Georg Friederich Händel.

Boom Boom!
 
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Contused

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
The sight of his guests filled Lord Cray
At breakfast with horrid dismay,
So he launched off the spoons
The pits from his prunes
At their heads as they neared the buffet.
 

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
The Abominable Snowman's a creature
That has a singular feature;
A rather large eye
That looks up at the sky.
It reminds me a lot of my teacher.
 

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Albert Einstein's the man we must credit
For being the man who first said it.
The name of the game
That brought him his fame
Was E = mc squared… Geddit?
 
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