Sharing diabetes

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Munjeeta

Munjeeta

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
Hello everyone. Another absence broken with a question 😛 I am on holiday from school but unfortunatley even less time to myself than normal!

Tomorrow I am moving house. Out from my childhood home which I currently live in with my mum and into a house with my boyfriend of 2 years. I have moved out of home before (uni, PGCE and for my first year of teaching) and have dealt with my diabetes to varying degrees in this time. The difference between these moves is that living with friends is very different to living with your other half, especially where diabetes is concerned! Plus, my attitude towards my diabetes has very much changed during the last year.

My questions this time are based around how to share your diabetes with somebody else. Now I know it's mine, but I also know how much it can affect me on a daily basis and I am aware of how difficult I can be. He is very supportive of my diabetes and very willing to learn and help (he's recently begun to use his knowledge of carb counting to estimate meal carbs when we're out and about!) How much (or how little) do you let your other halves/ family members help out with your diabetes? I'm sure we will find our own way, but I'm just curious as I'm sure there are some people who prefer to do things themselves and others who like to have the help. What about blood sugar-related mood swings? 😱
 
Good question Munjeeta , I am a totally open person anyway so I tell partners everything about Diabetes / Carbs etc in fact I dont shut up 😱 I am single at the moment but my best friend has been totally educated on the pros and cons of Carbs , Hypos , Hypers and how to jab me with Glucagon Lol , he has learned fast for a non diabetic lol . I would just go with the flow it doesnt have to be a major thing in your relationship, it is good that he supports you though. As long as he knows what to do if you hypo , if you are unable to treat it yourself / or in im not bloody hypo denial lol !! 😱
 
I quite agree with insulin addict. We never discussed sharing knowledge in particular, it just kind of happened as things cropped up. 🙄

Good luck with your move and best wishes to both of you. :D
 
I guess it depends on the two of you, it's all good him being keen to understand, and sorry if I'm being negative, but sometimes it may do your head in. A big factor I guess would be who does the cooking, but it would be helpful if you have someone else carb counting for you, my wifey does it sometimes, and I wish I was more grateful to be honest! But defo share it, make sure they know how to sort you out when low/high, know where secert stashes are, and that they are not for him, he can help to make sure you have a good stock of drugs needles etc, having someone to talk to is always good, and if not there's the people here as well you know!! I make the wife have a packet of fruit pastles in her bag, sometimes when driving she tests me to make sure I'm not too high/low, she also pops in my script sometimes, and even picks it up. hope it all goes smoothly.
 
Everyone's different, so do what suits you and your boyfriend - I'm one of those who prefer to do things myself. The only thing I told my partner when I first met him 10 years ago (and moved in together within months) was that if I say I need food or I need sugar, I really mean it, but not to worry if I say I'm hungry. Other than that, I don't want him or anyone else trying to interfere or stop me doing things. He certainly doesn't have anything to do with getting prescriptions, monitoring supplies etc - and I don't want him to meddle. Never needed glucagon. However, he seems to have picked things up pretty well. He's pretty good at volunteering the potato content of soup, for example (tonight was courgette, beans & veg leaves, no potatoes, followed by blackberry cheesecake) A few years back, I had a hypo in the night, and when he found me being unco-operative with his attempts to give my HypoStop, he tasted it, and decided it tasted so disgusting that he found some sweets instead. Never got any more. I don't really have mood swings related to diabetes, but do get cranky if tired, which is more of a problem as I need more sleep that him and can't fall asleep as easily as him.
 
It is different for everyone. I think you'll need to be honest with him so that there are no nast shocks later.

I had been married for over 20 years when I was diagnosed, so it was different for me. Both hubby and grown up son have done first aid, although I made sure they both knew how to treat a hypo if necessary (it hasn't been happily).

Now hubby has retired he has taken over cooking, so there is now a bit of work for both of us as he has taken over the cooking. I do the shopping on line and it is a case of compromise what he likes and what I can eat.

Work together, the best advice I can give is talk to each other and be as honest as you can. It might take a while for things to settle, but it will be worth it in the end.
 
Hi Munjeeta,

Hope the move goes well, how exciting!

I remember saying to someone recently that one of the biggest "hidden" advantages of diabetes is that sometimes it helps sort the wheat from the chaff re friends, & it's certainly done that for me re boyfriends etc too. My hubby is a really good, kind man who has taken it all more or less in his stride...in fact it was him that pointed out (quite bravely in my opinion!!) the link between moods & sugar levels in me! 🙄 He's human, though, so I do try to bear in mind that partners can suffer "diabetes fatigue" too, especially in times of hightened stress like when pregnant! That said, he's been brilliant, badgers me to check my levels if I'm grouchy, and will help with carb counting sometimes. When I was in hospital with baby #1, I needed to be able to carb count accurately (so they could tell when to deliver, long story!) & because you can't get "diabetic" meals (ie carb values known) on the maternity ward, for 2 weeks or so he brought in sandwiches & salads for me, bless him! 🙂 Thankfully I've never needed help with hypos yet, so I can't comment on that!

All the best, I hope the move goes smoothly! 🙂
 
I was diagnosed when I met my partner but started on insulin about a month after we got together and she supported me to do my first injection.
I tend to do most things myself and don't really have any help as such from her now. On occasions she will ask me if I've done my insulin, or will wake me up if I have fallen asleep. When I test she sometimes asks me what my blood sugar is.
I'm happy with the amount that she is involved at the moment.

Good luck with the move. It will be good if you can talk to your boyfriend and see how he feels about his involvement.
 
Hi Munjeeta,

I've found this topic really interesting, as I am in the exact same boat at the moment! :D I just moved in with my boyfriend yesterday, and am wondering the same kind of things.

In general I am very open when it comes to talking about my diabetes, and will quite happily talk the hind leg of a donkey! However, *managing* it is completely different to me, and I prefer to do this on my own. So far, this has worked quite well, as my boyfriend is really phobic about needles! 😛 He knows what to do if I hypo, and will ask if I need sugar and normally has a stash on him. That's pretty much as far as his involvement goes. The main thing that I think will change with us living together is cooking, as I think he's going to have to learn how to carb count if we're going to be sharing the cooking... 😉

Good luck with the move! I hope everything goes well. 🙂
 
Hi Mujeeta....

Hope the move goes well....:D..and good luck...:D

I can only really say what others have...Just be totally honest etc

Heidi
xx🙂
 
I cant help you on this subject *cry* 😉 but hope everything is going well today! Are you going to buy a bed ASAP so you can actually live there? hehe.
 
hi munjeeta i just think i can say what others have we dont sit down as such but as things occur we talk through them he has had experience with diabetic parnters in the past so that gives me an advantage as he knows an awful lot , just be honest is the main thing really


good luck with the move xx
 
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