Secret eating?

[J640g]

Hi all, I've been T1 IDDM, diagnosed in the early 1970s, and on pumps for over 14 years now.

Was diagnosed at 6yrs, and remember going to birthday parties and being told 'have an apple, you're not allowed cake'. Sneaking a mouthful of cake was naughty, but it was awfully nice - it was a foil to having to boil my syringes, industrial spirit to clean my leg, get needles resharpened, 'playing' with chemistry sets with 3 drops of pee, 10 water and a chemical tablet to hear 'you MUST have eaten something'when it turned orange - even when I hadn't.

40ish years later, and on an insulin pump, HBA1C is 62, (I know, but it's been worse...) and I still have those 'naughty' snacks - especially when I'm driving. It could be a bag of crisps, a sandwich, a sausage roll. I set out with great intentions but arrive at my destination looking at the used wrappers thinking 'how the @$#! Did that happen?' My much better half is fantastic, preparing ultra low carb meals, healthy, tasty, good food for me, but I could still arrive home with a sandwich in me, even though I know I have a good meal sitting waiting for me. I can't admit I've eaten, and then feel guilty about it (and spend the evening fighting spiking BS)

It's not hunger, it's pure habit, I'm fed up being 20st, have tried diets, know what I should be eating, but there's always that guilty pleasure of having something noone else knows about.

No idea where to go, would like to know if anyone else.out there has overcome this sort of challenge in the past?

Ps. I STILL HATE APPLES!

 

[Tee G]

Hi @J640g and welcome to the forum. I can hear the desperation in your words. I think upsetting childhood incidences have a lot to answer for in the baggage some of us have to carry through life. I can see that child you, eating that secret cake, your brain rewarding you with that 'buzz' and of course you would want that again, who wouldnt. Trouble is its still sitting on your shoulder whispering in your ear, "go on have a packet of crisps....."

But you are an adult now, your intellectual self knows what you are doing and you are fighting a battle within yourself. I fear you are going to have to give yourself one giant kick up the 'proverbial'. You are going to have to be strong, for your own long term healths sake. Be brave and walk past that store where you usually make that detour to get your goodies. Take a healthy snack from home with you instead. Carry a bottle of water around, when you feel peckish, take a long long glug of it and wait 20 mins. Do this for a week and see how it goes. You have to get rid of that monster sitting on your shoulder. Hes holding you back. Dont let him get the better of you - you are stronger than you think when you put determination behind your boot and kick him to the curb! We are here for you.

 

[Lizzzie]

Hugs. Can you write down every time you eat? You don't have to show it to.anyone, but try to be accountable to.yourself. then figure out patterns e.g. 'Ì feel peckish at such-a-time ' and plan a new habit e.g. 'I'm going to only have one weetabix for breakfast and have the other when I'm peckish at elevenses.' Or: I have a coffee shop habit. From now on I'm going to.tell the OP I go into the coffee shop with that I only want a coffee and please don't pressure me to buy cake etc. Then they're judging you so it's harder to buy cake.

 

[trophywench]

Whilst I wholeheartedly agree you really ought to just stop eating 'c**p' I know full well that's ruddy hard. Could you at least give yourself correction doses of fast acting to account for the 'c**p' - cos otherwise I fear you'll land up causing yourself complications - is it going to take you getting retinopathy or kidney failure before you see sense?

If you could do what I just said for a week - then you could allow yourself a naughty treat! - as long as you bolus for it!

 

[Wirrallass]

Hi @Jay640g as others before have said. I'm going to tag @Ditto whom I think will be able to emphasise with you.
WL

 

[grovesy]

I personally aim to try to have what I class as more good days than bad.

 

[Pumper_Sue]

There's no naughty treats as all you do is bolus for them.

Simple solution re the eating in the car is don't have the rubbish in the car 🙂 If it's not there then you can not eat it.
I know exactly how you feel re the apple as a young child I was in my mind basically force fed rich tea biscuits. To this day I refuse to eat them. Now a digestive with butter and cheese on top is bliss 🙂

 

[Thebearcametoo]

Part of breaking the cycle is removing the shame. Everyone eats stuff they ‘shouldn’t’ - except for my daughter’s dietician who is the most prime example of doing everything she tells people to do I’ve ever met. But I’m also suspicious that she’s not mortal 😉 - What is really important for you is to have the right insulin with whatever you’re eating so maybe start there as others have said. If you can then be open about what you’re eating and think about the reasons why - low carb food is great if that’s all you’re eating for helping stabilise glucose levels and reduce insulin requirements but it’s not much help if what you actually want are carbs. It may be better to have more carbs with your meals and then stick to just drinks in the car (unless it’s very long journeys) so that you’re craving the ‘naughty’ foods less and breaking the habit. If you want to sneak food then having some dark chocolate or something with fewer carbs than a sandwich is a start. But get the insulin in ya!

 

[Ralph-YK]

have tried diets

Diets are notorious for not working. Ask anyone, who says one has worked for them, how many they've been on. (There's plenty of people who've done the rounds of all the diets. Twice.) Sounds like you've found this out.

would like to know if anyone else.out there has overcome this sort of challenge in the past?

Not yet.

As suggested by others, my thought was to make these things part of your "offical" food. Then take it into account for meals & insulin. It's possible to have a sandwich, and balance things out at the meal at home to manage the weight.

 

[Sally71]

Small steps is the key. Diabetes-wise there is nothing you can't eat as long as you carb count it and give yourself the correct dose of insulin, which is easy enough on a pump.

Losing weight is a lot harder! I am not diabetic but have been overweight for many years now, and always thought it was too hard to lose weight, I’d have to give up all the food I like, and every time I tried to make the effort to do something about it I’d give up within a week. But finally last year I suddenly realised how tired and unwell I felt all the time, thought about going to the doctor and then realised that the first thing they would tell me to do would be lose weight, so I decided I’d better make the effort properly this time. And over a 6 month period I managed to lose 2 stone, slow but sure. I know I need to lose another 2 at least, and over winter my weight loss has completely stalled, but I haven’t put it all back on again so I’m counting that a success for now and am hoping that once the weather gets a bit nicer I'll get out a bit more and resume the weight loss! All I did was a) cook proper meat and veg meals a couple of extra days a week instead of just at the weekend, and not survive purely on snacks and junk food during the week; b) go out for a walk every day, even if it's only 20 minutes it's better than nothing; and c) try to stop all snacking in the evening, because I’d got really bad at that. And it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, I have now also started to look at portion sizes at meal times a bit but I’m slipping a bit on the snacking again at the moment so I need to give myself a bit of a talking to as well!

So could you maybe start with just trying to not eat in the car, or only take one thing with you in the car, or something like that. Then if you get yourself into better habit with that then maybe try to find somewhere else that you could eat less or substitute something for a healthier option. If you don't try to change too much at once it’s easier to stick to, I think that's where I always went wrong before, I tried to live on a diet of salad which I really don't enjoy! But I do like meat and vegetables and stews and don't mind not having potatoes with them, and I found that I don't need to eat chocolate every day, which was a big surprise for me, just a couple of biscuits or a yogurt just to get the taste of something sweet actually is enough most of the time. And then if I do get a day where it all goes wrong I try not to beat myself up about it and start again the next day.

Don't try to “ban” yourself from any particular food, that just makes you want it more. Just try to eat it less often. And don't feel ashamed when you do slip up, just remind yourself how well you are doing otherwise. It can be done, if I can get myself in the right frame of mind then anyone can. Realising that you need to do something is a good start, now try to build on that. As of today I’m going to get my act together and try to improve again too, I did it once so I can do it again! Good luck 🙂

 

[Ralph-YK]

It's the feelings that's as much as an issue. I don't have a good suggestion for that. Sorry

 

[Ditto]

Thank you for the tag, this is a very interesting thread. I don't do 'secret eating' I'm positively blatant! I used to though. When I was an office junior, my first job, one of the clerks gave me a Battenburg cake for all the ladies to share and I sneaked into the cloakroom (not the ladies, where the coats were hung up) and scoffed the lot. I don't even like Battenburg cake!

I think with you being 'proper' diabetic ie not Type 2, then you should eat what you like, just account for it with your meds and stuff. Take the guilt out of it. I thank goodness everyday that I'm 'only' Type 2, I could not cope with anything else, so difficult, I have great admiration for y'all. I wouldn't eat in the car though because you should be concentrating, it should be like mobiles and banned. I wish I wasn't so opinionated. 🙂 Everybody on here will be rooting for you to beat your problem and I'm sure you will. This is an excellent forum to get help.

 

[grovesy]

I believe there have been the odd report of someone been fined for snacking in the car.