Sorry to hear how your appointments make you feel
I think that feeling of ‘going to see the headmaster’ is familiar to many of us, and I know I’ve had appointments over the years which have made me feel exactly the same.
Partly that can be our own brains focussing on what we perceive as shortcomings, and partly it can be the style of the HCP / consultant. Some are more gifted at encouraging, and working through challenges as a team.
Be kind to yourself and give yourself massive credit for making it through 20 years with this infuriating, illogical, fickle and downright contrary condition.
As for “why was that number like that there?” I’d say it’s because you have type 1 diabetes, and there are 30-40 factors that influence your blood glucose levels. Even if you behaved exactly the same every day, your diabetes would still throw curve balls from time to time.
That’s absolutely fine. There’s no need to eat to the clock. It helps if your basal is set right (and this can vary through the year), but you shooild be able to skip meals and eat (or not eat) pretty much whenever and whatever you choose.
Use your CGM for this. It’s what it’s good at. I find it more helpful to look for overall trends rather than focussing on one-off diabetes randomness.
Are you adjusting doses based on the approximate carb content of the meal? Or are you going more by experience and eating similar things day to day?
Sounds like you have some sort of bolus calculator, but that its settings could probably do with tweaking to better match your needs. One of the benefits of a bolus / correction calculator is that you can make smaller adjustments to fine tune things and not have to worry about keeping the maths easy to work stuff out in your head. So you can have ratios and correction factors that suggest fractions of units (1u:11g or 1u:12g and 1u:3.3mmol/l or 1u:4.2mmol/l or whatever) and then round the dose at the end. It can also help to have half-unit pens for a bit more finesse.
In terms of target ranges, the commonly suggested ones (from the NICE guidance for T1) are:
5-7 before breakfast
4-7 before other meals
no higher than 9 by 2 hours after food.
You might also find the
International consensus recommendations for Time in Range helpful for interpreting your CGM data