Recently diagnosed as type 2 following baby loss. Overwhelmed.

[merrymunky]

Hi everyone,


I’m Emma. I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes a week last Friday. In some ways it wasn’t surprising but it was a shock nonetheless.


To cut a long story short:

I’m 38 and overweight...well obese, lets be honest. My husband and I faced fertility issues for the last ten years due to my weight. I’ve had glucose tests in the past but they have been fine. After ten years trying we finally conceived a baby naturally in August last year. All seemed to be going well. I would have been having my gestational diabetes screening in the next week or so which would have flagged up an issue. However, in November we devastatingly lost our baby boy at 16 weeks gestation. All scans etc previously had been good. There were a couple of obvious deformities when he was born via induced labour a couple of days later. His left hand was missing a thumb and the bones were fused in the wrist. He also had a hole in his abdomen and his bowel was poking through. It has been the worst two months of my life. Utterly devastating. I haven’t been able to return to my job as a teacher in a special school yet as I am a mess.


At the time we were induced to deliver our boy, it was noticed that my blood sugar was high. Fast forward to repeat hba1c test two weeks ago and a call from the GP to request a face to face meeting. I expected her to say they wanted to investigate further with the fasting glucose test but she gave me the diabetic diagnosis there and then and has put me straight onto metformin. I’m still coming to terms with it all and am terrified to eat anything.


I am a life long vegetarian (and fussy). I also do slimming world which works a treat for me. The thing is, so much of my diet on slimming world is made up of potatoes, rice, pasta etc. I know that carbs play a big part in diabetes management and if I cut it out of my diet too much I am going to struggle for meals. I make some substitutions such as cauliflower rice but it will be hard to cut down too many.

I attended the first of the diabetic education classes this morning and my slimming world leader has given me information on how to follow the plan as a diabetic.


It is all very overwhelming right now. We want to try again for a baby as soon as we can due to my age and very irregular cycles. I don’t have years left, but I know that the Diabetes must be under control to give me the best chances of successful pregnancy.


When we lost our boy everyone told me not to blame myself but since diagnosis I can’t help that feel I am to blame after all. I wasn’t aware I had a condition. I didn’t help myself too much before hand other than losing a couple of stone. I was still obese though. I can’t forgive myself if this condition killed my only baby after so long trying.

 

[CathyB]

Hi Emma, I am so very sorry for what you have been through, I don’t think anything compares to the loss of your child, I only hope that time makes the pain easier to bear.
There are others on here that are also vegetarian so I have no doubt they will be able to advise you on diet. Like you I was obese when I got my diagnosis, I was already living with heart disease and was basically waiting for my life to pass by. The diabetes has been a real kick up the backside for me, I can’t control my heart (it’s genetic) but I had a chance to control my diabetes, so I came here, I read as much as I could and quickly learned that the advice I had been given was so wrong! I chose low carb, spent a week or so convinced I would starve to death...then slowly got my head around it. I am never going to be a gym person, I knew I wouldn’t stick with it, also I got breathless so quickly that exercise was really difficult. I started walking to the lamppost and back, down the road and back, I borrowed my neighbours dog ( gave me confidence) and bit by bit ventured further. I’m now walking around 45 mins most nights, just under 4 stone lighter without really trying, my bloods are always between 4.5 to 5.5 and I’m really enjoying my food. You can do this, I’m lazy so if I worked it out I know you can

 

[merrymunky]

Thanks for the welcome.

I’m reading so much about the low carb high fat diet. I can’t understand why professionals aren’t pushing it. I’m not sure it will work for me personally at this point in time but I am cutting down on my carbs. If after my next hba1c test the levels aren’t reducing then I may consider really trying it. I am such a fussy eater though and dislike so many of the foods people eat on the diet. Eggs, mushroom, avocado, aubergine, all no go foods for me. Plus the vegetarian issue makes it harder. I won’t be turning to meat ever either so I would really have to find a way round it. I’m already struggling with the fact that chocolate is pretty much off limits. I would usually have a curly wurly from my sun allowance a few times a week. Once I get the craving it become unbearable. Denying myself it at the moment is really hard.

I’m hoping the weigh loss on Slimming World, metformin etc will have some impact on my numbers. My last hba1c was 75mmol/mol.

 

[Bronco Billy]

Hi merrymunky. Welcome to the forum. My wife lost a baby through a miscarriage. This was early in the pregnancy and it was tough enough to deal with, so I can’t imagine how hard it is for you having had to give birth. You probably will never know for sure that it was diabetes that cause it, but losing two stones takes a lot of doing, so I agree with everyone who says you shouldn’t blame yourself.

Diet is one of the hot topics on this forum. Everyone has their preference, ultimately, it’s what works for you. There are those that will tell you that carbs are the enemy and must be avoided at all costs, but if potatoes, rice and pasta are part of a diet that is working for you, there is absolutely no reason not to keep them as part of your diet.

Good luck and take care.

 

[merrymunky]

Thank you so much. I joined another forum last week (the red one ) and almost everyone was very pushy about the low carb diet and the meat eating.

It’s refreshing to hear someone say I should find what works for me. I will make more drastic changes down the line if I need to but I’ve already cut down on so many things.

I’m so sorry your wife experienced a miscarriage. It is utterly devastating isn’t it? After ten years trying I really thought we were safe at 16 weeks. That moment learning he had passed away in the womb just shattered me completely. I worry so much that we will never get our take home baby now.

 

[Bronco Billy]

I’m a big believer in not fixing something if it isn’t broken, and from what you say, it seems your diet is helping you lose weight even with pasta, rice and potatoes. Given that, there’s no reason to give them up. I’m also a believer in everything in moderation. As long as you are sensible, keep eating the foods you like.

Even though it was 14 years ago, my wife still marks the day it happened and the ornament she has which is dedicated to ‘baby dot’ as we call the baby, is one of her most treasured possessions. Who knows what the future holds for you, but as long as you both stay strong and do the right things, maybe, just maybe your dream will come true.

 

[merrymunky]

Oh bless. That’s such a lovely thing to do to mark and acknowledge your baby every year. Because that’s what they were...no matter that the gestational age...a real little baby.

We named our boy Lumi. We didn’t know before being induced what we were having and we didn’t know if they would even be able to tell us as sometimes it’s is hard even at 16 weeks depending on the baby. We didn’t want to use one of the names we had picked out for a take home baby so wanted a unisex name that was symbolic instead. It means ‘light bringer’ which was just completely perfect as he did bring light to our lives for those 16 weeks.

We have lots of things to remember him by. Photo of us with him, photos of him as he was born and then later on wrapped up in his knitted blankets in a tiny little Moses basket, we have the memory box and all the gifts we have been given too. We have Christmas tree baubles, a wooden angel with his name on, two stars named after him etc etc. I also had a necklace made with his name, date of delivery, hand and footprint on. I wear it pretty much all th time so he is near to my heart constantly. We framed a photo to display on the home too. He was a very real little boy with such a beautiful face and we will never be ashamed of him. I dread the symbolic days now though, his due date in May, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, anniversary of the day we got our positive test, scans etc as well as his actual delivery date. It never ever leaves you does it?!

But now I have some focus and motivation to control this condition. I want him to be a big brother. I want to be able to tell his siblings that they have an angel watching over them.

I will continue as I am on slimming world, just cutting down on some of the obvious danger foods and see how I go.

 

[Deleted member 22730]

Hi Emma. I am so sorry to hear about what you have been through. I though I would let you know about our Helpline, where we have advisers with backgrounds in counselling who can offer you emotional support during this time. They can also give you advice about diabetes, diet and answer any questions you might have. It's a completely free service, which you can get in touch with by calling 0345 123 2399 Mon-Fri 9am-6pm or by emailing helpline@diabetes.org.uk

All the best for the future. Please don't hesitate to get in touch with us if you feel we can support you in any way.

 

[merrymunky]

Hi Emma. I am so sorry to hear about what you have been through. I though I would let you know about our Helpline, where we have advisers with backgrounds in counselling who can offer you emotional support during this time. They can also give you advice about diabetes, diet and answer any questions you might have. It's a completely free service, which you can get in touch with by calling 0345 123 2399 Mon-Fri 9am-6pm or by emailing helpline@diabetes.org.uk

All the best for the future. Please don't hesitate to get in touch with us if you feel we can support you in any way.

Thank you so much for the reply and the info x