Really Down in the dumps

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Dizzydi

Dizzydi

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
& don't know what to do....

Keep it to myself or confess.

Got my Consultant appointment in 2 weeks, do I tell him how I am really feeling - not one for sharing my feelings etc.

I'm sure I'll be fine in a few weeks time - so long as I can get my head to stop dwelling on what would or could have been. :confused:
 
Di - it's really understandable about how you are feeling - you have had a massive shock and are mourning for the family you wanted.

Could you try and write down how you are feeling - it might help to release some of the pain, sometimes putting words to paper helps your brain put things to one side - though be warned it could bring floods of tears. Do it for yourself and if it helps you can always show it to the Dr. Bottling it up won't help. Did the clinic offer you counselling - I think they should have and it might help - counsellors are all different but there should be someone who can help you process your thoughts.

Please talk to someone - a trusted friend or your OH, and be kind to yourself, it will take time for you to readjust, that is normal.

Sending you virtual hugs.
 
I can only second what margie said.

It's totally understandable for you to be feeling low at the moment. Be kind to yourself, & don't bottle it up.

I'm here if you need a chat/rant.

<<<<hugs>>>>>
 
Absolutely agree with all that Margie has said. Can't imagine how you're feeling but releasing your thoughts and feelings in some way will help you to get your head straight.

Things can eat away at you for years even when you think you've filed them away.

Hope you can find a way that works for you.

Rob
 
margie said:
Di - it's really understandable about how you are feeling - you have had a massive shock and are mourning for the family you wanted.

Could you try and write down how you are feeling - it might help to release some of the pain, sometimes putting words to paper helps your brain put things to one side - though be warned it could bring floods of tears. Do it for yourself and if it helps you can always show it to the Dr. Bottling it up won't help. Did the clinic offer you counselling - I think they should have and it might help - counsellors are all different but there should be someone who can help you process your thoughts.

Please talk to someone - a trusted friend or your OH, and be kind to yourself, it will take time for you to readjust, that is normal.

Sending you virtual hugs.
Click to expand...

Sorry to say it again - but I agree with Margie - and take all the help you need.🙂Bev
 
Don't bottle it up! Better out than in, I speak from experience! (Although not the same one as your own). The Doc's can only help if you let them and they need to know what's troubling you most to help you deal with it. It will be hard, and probably unpleasant, but honest, you need to get it off your chest, it's the only way to deal with the pain.
I wish you well and sincerly hope you get the help you want.
 
Hi Di

Dont keep it yourself you will probably feel a bit better once you have talked it through with other people. You have been through a very tough time.

I have been in similar position as yourself............was lucky to have a daughter after about a year of trying but would of loved other children but it just never happened and then at the age of 33 I had to have a hysterectomy.

take care
 
can only echo wot people have said. Take care of yourself hunnie
sending you lots of love and hugs
gail
 
Di , you have been through a lot , im quite a private person and not one for really sharing my feelings and thoughts too but sometimes i think it can help , Thinking of you .
 
I hope you're feeling better. You shared how you're feeling with us, which is brilliant. It is difficult sometimes to share how we feel, but it might pay you to when you next see the consultant or the nurse.

The weather and the longer nights don't help much either.
 
Hi Di,

A big hug coming over for you.
The hardest part of letting it out is to start talking ..once you start it will come out and you can then start slowly to turn a corner. Take care x
 
Thanks guys - I know I really should talk to someone.

Must admit going through the 'I feel sorry for myself stage' at the moment. I'm a bit lost, still very angry but trying my hardest to not get fixated on not being told the whole truth. Just can't get my head around why information which was quite an important part was with held.

Think I am grieving - maybe this is what I need to do properly.

Who knows!!
 
Di, keep a diary. I used to have a hard time telling the doctor how I was really feeling, I started writing it all down and it did help a lot. Not just because I could show it to the doctor, but also because I could see for myself when things were at their worst and it helped me pinpoint the source of the problem, which funnily enough wasn't the diabetes. That was just one more problem to deal with on top of all the others.

What you've been through is horrible, I know, I've been there too (I lost twins when I was 38). I was 'lucky' I didn't have the diabetes to cope with at that time as well. You have the right to grieve and to be angry at the way you were treated. Perhaps you could persuade your doctor that you need to talk to a bereavement counsellor about your feelings. Either way, they need to know how betrayed, hurt and angry you feel about being kept in the dark. You're not a child, you should have been told everything. Even if they can't get you a counsellor on the NHS quickly, there may be a charity around your area like the one I work for that has volunteer counsellors willing to help folk. They should know what services are available.

Whatever happens, we're always here for you. PM me if you want to.
 
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AlisonM said:
Di, keep a diary. I used to have a hard time telling the doctor how I was really feeling, I started writing it all down and it did help a lot. Not just because I could show it to the doctor, but also because I could see for myself when things were at their worst and it helped me pinpoint the source of the problem, which funnily enough wasn't the diabetes. That was just one more problem to deal with on top of all the others.

What you've been through is horrible, I know, I've been there too (I lost twins when I was 38). I was 'lucky' I didn't have the diabetes to cope with at that time as well. You have the right to grieve and to be angry at the way you were treated. Perhaps you could persuade your doctor that you need to talk to a bereavement counsellor about your feelings. Either way, they need to know how betrayed, hurt and angry you feel about being kept in the dark. You're not a child, you should have been told everything. Even if they can't get you a counsellor NHS quickly, there may be a charity around your area like the one I work for that has volunteer counsellors willing to help folk. They should know what services are available.

Whatever happens, we're always here for you. PM me if you want to.
Click to expand...

Thanks Alison, your message makes sense. I can use the IVF clinic for counselling, they offered it when it didn't work and when they told me the in's and out's of what had / hadn't happened. But at the time I was so angry at what I was being told, I just had to get out of there.

What I'm gonna do is speak to my specialist and see what he says / recommends (he is very good) and then decide which counseller to use.

I want my head to stop going over and over stuff - it's driving me mad :(.

Sorry to hear about your twins, it is terrible to lose children, it never leaves you I don't think.

Take care Di xxx
 
I don't know what you are going through, I have lost my mum so know about grief and the feelings that it brings, but I don't know if the grief is the same.. It is important not to bottle things up, I tried that and it didn't work and I broke down when I saw my GP who arranged counselling for me and i was also given the number for cruse.. I contacted them but when I was ready to..

As others have said, write things down, even if you repeat yourself, write how YOU are feeling, what emotions you are going through.. grief is not a weakness it is part of human nature and at some point in our life we will all experience it, and no doubt we will all handle it differently.. if you feel up to it I would talk to your dr/consultant/dsn whoever you feel comfortable talking to.. you also have this site for support as well, and I am sure there are sites that are made for the loss you have experienced..

(((Hugs))) xx
 
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