Question.....How does one accept things

[rustee2011]

Good Evening,

How does one accept things as part of their life as part of who they are?
Is it a process, and what does it mean?
Reading some of the posts regarding insulin and BG levels and the sometimes great struggle to keep it in control. How long did it take for you to accept this.
Also is acceptance the same as "coming to terms" with it.

I am probably coming across as rambling...just random thoughts. Looking at my situation, and MAYBE just maybe I have come to terms with it. For years I have said I am a person who copes with depression. I remember I had similar issues with diabetes, and I look at the positives and how it has helped me. But acceptance might mean just building a support network and developing coping skills.

Also coping doesn't mean that it will be easy, it will be a challenge and a very testing time....you want to pull your hair out and scream...but somehow or somewhere you keep going on because you have hope.

Maybe I am coping, maybe this is my challenging time; Maybe I have accepted it

 

[Lauras87]

I now find it hard to accept things.

But like they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger

 

[LeeLee]

How about focussing on ONE thing you can get under control, and go for it big-time.

To give you an example, my focus has been on losing weight. Getting to grips with that meant eating better and exercising more. That then led to better control of BGs and improved general wellbeing, emotional as well as physical. I haven't forgotten all the other 'stuff', but it's much easier to deal with (or ignore, as the case may be).

 

[trophywench]

About 7 or 8 years ago I was having panic attacks through stress both at work and with wider family. I couldn't control either of them.

However, you know what? There was a chance that without more stress, I maybe could control my BG - but not without packing in work and cutting off the rellies - well so be it.

I was and still am, much more important than they were or are.

But generally 30+ years previously, I didn't feel there was any choice when diagnosed. OK I was an adult - age 22. But I had to be REALLY grown up about it. And say sheet happens, but could be summat else worse and could be dead - so deal with it. It was a PITA. It still is a PITA. It always will be a PITA. There's no point on dwelling on that because there is absolutely nowt any one can do to make it go away.

Shed quite a lot of tears, had attacks of the Why Mes. But did pretty quickly catch on I was wasting my time and all that happened was I landed up with an empty box of tissues, a vile face and a headache; it changed nothing.

So shrug your shoulders and get on with it.

And that's what I did.

 

[brett]

Did struggle at first not long after diagnosis. But it wasn't until I acknowledged I knew I wasn't coping well and being a bit withdrawn from people/life that things began to get better. If I carried on as I was I would of just been watching the world go by. Now just get on with out cause I have to for my health and now do all the things I used to that I did stop doing and feel better for it. Can't change things but can manage them. At least you have acknowledged u have a problem and hopefully move forward even if step by step.

 

[rustee2011]

Thanks guys - I understand; I was told that I am being too hard on myself, and when things or situations just happen - just take the bumpy, uncomfortable ride and move on. Sometimes things don't require analysis - just being and doing

 

[Cat1964]

Did struggle at first not long after diagnosis. But it wasn't until I acknowledged I knew I wasn't coping well and being a bit withdrawn from people/life that things began to get better. If I carried on as I was I would of just been watching the world go by. Now just get on with out cause I have to for my health and now do all the things I used to that I did stop doing and feel better for it. Can't change things but can manage them. At least you have acknowledged u have a problem and hopefully move forward even if step by step.

I've been struggling too this week. Only 2 weeks after diagnosis. If you read my post last night, I was having a rant/meltdown type thing. i wanted the diabetes bus to stop and i could go back to my old life. But oh felt so much better for that rant. This is a good forum to get it off your chest too. I am still finding it difficult to accept my diagnosis but felt spurred on by it tonight when my daughter said she has noticed I am starting to lose weight. I won't be weighed until 27th Feb, so I am curious to know just how much I have lost. I refuse to weigh myself at home and become obsessed by jumping on and off the scales. The acceptance will come but for now its one day at a time x

 

[rustee2011]

I understand Cat, when I was first diagnosed back in June 2011 - I thought I accepted it panicked at first, half expected the doctor to say "made a mistake".
It was when I went on the Fresh Start - realisation sunk in three months later in September 2011. I came to terms with it, especially as I started to lose weight. It put a good healthy fear in me, made me super conscious of the foods I eat.

I really appreciate it that you see it as a rant - I was worried I was offending or upsetting people. i find that it helps me. Makes me realise that although being and having awareness id excellent - it still doesn't mean that it's smooth sailing.
It's me in a depressed state rambling on again ....lol

 

[brett]

Hi cat, lol, its gods to rant sometimes, I used to do the opposite and keep it in. now rant, usually to the family, who although havnt got diabetes are a good pair of ears and very supportive. Also on here there is a great network of people who are usually going through our have gone through similar experiences. Even if not are here to help on any way 🙂

 

[Cat1964]

Hi cat, lol, its gods to rant sometimes, I used to do the opposite and keep it in. now rant, usually to the family, who although havnt got diabetes are a good pair of ears and very supportive. Also on here there is a great network of people who are usually going through our have gone through similar experiences. Even if not are here to help on any way 🙂

Hey, yes it was good to have a rant. I just got fed up having to think can I have that, if I have it what effect will it have. Fed up listening to the words...can you eat that? Grrr......lol. I had the rant on here and thankfully no-one responded, otherwise that rant may have gone on for a while last night.....lol. My daughter is very supportive and I think hubby like me is yet to fully get his head round this big change for us all. My daughter tiptoes round me just now. Nobody eats sweets around me at the moment, I want them to because its a normal thing that I NEED to accept. Life is about to get really healthy for me and I will get used to all of the changes I need to make in my life so that diabetes isn't the last thing I ever remember of my life. Acceptance for me is the important thing....but as I said earlier its all one day at a time x

 

[brett]

Sounds all to familiar lol, now my family can usually tell me if I'm too low or too high. who needs a hypo aware dog lol. 9 times put of.ten they are right. The other time I'm just having a bad day. When my son has been naughty and needs a ticking off I get are your sugars low or do you need some of my sweets. My wife and son were tip towering for a few months a while back but thankfully suck with me and understood. Glad those days are behind me now, just hope they don't come back!. Also no sign of sweets for a while but now not given a second thought as my boy like his treats. Also handy for me and my now rare hypos🙂

 

[megga]

Like most people, i didn't accept it and for years just tried to cary on with life like i was normal. I used to go in to town and drink myself in a coma, many times i woke up in A+E only to pull the drip out myself and back in to town. I am ashamed now of my previous anticks. But thats me all over, i dont deal with change, i fight it every step of the way. I like things just how they are, the way i know and trust.

 

[trophywench]

Well you (or anyone else who feels like that) need to get to know and therefore trust what's happening now then don't you?

How?

LEARNING is how. Learn every mortal thing you possibly can about diabetes - the anatomy, the hormones etc etc. Dawn Phenomenon, rebound hypos, liver dumps, anything you can learn. If you understand exactly why stuff happens, it's nowhere near as scarey.

Knowledge really IS power.

 

[AlisonM]

I don't think I've ever accepted it. I have come to terms with it by doing the research, talking to other diabetics and moaning constantly at the experts till we found a treatment regime that works. It's a long hard road for many of us but we adapt, we learn and, if we have any sense we look for support along the way.

In my mind, the day I 'accept' diabetes is the day it wins. Diabetes is not my friend.

 

[Mossey]

I was diagnosed at my doctor's surgery with a bg reading in the 20's. Didn't know anything really about diabetes and got in my car to go home and burst into tears. 2 minutes later I pulled myself together, told myself what an idiot I was being so silly as anybody would think I had been told I had 24 hours to live ! I've never looked back. I think I am lucky to have type 1 instead of type 2 as it gives me a lot more freedom in eating what I like. My job as a decorator can make it a bit difficult as i sometimes dont know how physically active I am going to be, may be climbing ladders all day and need less insulin at breakfast, but the positive side to that is I have an excuse to nibble on biscuits during the day when I have a cuppa, result I say ! Also I now find it odd when I see somebody eating, say a choccy bar, and knowing they don't have to worry about insulin because their body will do it for them. Weird ! All in all its a way of life and it could be a lot worse. Always think positive 🙂)

 

[LeeLee]

I was diagnosed at my doctor's surgery with a bg reading in the 20's. Didn't know anything really about diabetes and got in my car to go home and burst into tears. 2 minutes later I pulled myself together, told myself what an idiot I was being so silly as anybody would think I had been told I had 24 hours to live ! I've never looked back. I think I am lucky to have type 1 instead of type 2 as it gives me a lot more freedom in eating what I like. My job as a decorator can make it a bit difficult as i sometimes dont know how physically active I am going to be, may be climbing ladders all day and need less insulin at breakfast, but the positive side to that is I have an excuse to nibble on biscuits during the day when I have a cuppa, result I say ! Also I now find it odd when I see somebody eating, say a choccy bar, and knowing they don't have to worry about insulin because their body will do it for them. Weird ! All in all its a way of life and it could be a lot worse. Always think positive 🙂)

Hi Mossey, it's interesting that you hold an opposite view to mine... I consider myself lucky to be T2 because with a bit (or rather sometimes a lot) of effort I can control my D without sticking needles into myself. Each to his/her own, eh?

 

[Mossey]

I see your point but I always imagined you have to be a lot stricter than I do on what you eat and when ? If I'm at work and a client brings me in a lovely creamy chocolate cake, I don't say sorry I can't eat that, I just have 3 or 4 extra units and enjoy the cake. Sometimes I get it wrong but practice makes perfect, almost.

 

[LeeLee]

My D is very sensitive to weight, and dumping loads of it has improved my insulin resistance to the point that I would look at the cake as Slimming World Syns rather than carbs. If I have any to spare, I can allow myself a small slice of the cake without scuppering that week's weight loss... or going hyper either.