parent of teenager with type 1

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Anne Helen Gott

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Hello I am a parent of a teenager with type 1 diabetes (he is male aged 15).
Anyone there any ideas on how to help? At the moment he is refusing any help from me except as a last resort, I have to sit back and watch his diabetes getting out of control am so frustrated have tried all approaches: school, nurse, consultant but at the end of the day there's nothing I can do except watch him damage his chances of a normal healthy life. What happened? One minute his HBAc's were about 6.5 not they are up in the 12's ?
 
Hi, I lived through that over 30 years ago. It is very hard as you have all the teenage problems of being half way between a child and an adult - you just do not need diabetes then! It may well be worth contacting Diabetes UK with a view to him going on one of their support holidays with fellow diabetics of his own age. There have been massive advances in diabetes care since I was a teenager and I think a combined pump/blood sugar monitor will appear within 10 years allowing a near normal life within reason. When I was in my early twenties a nineteen year old who had been ignoring his diabetes died of kidney failure - the needless loss of a young life. Does he have any contact with any diabetics his own age? This would be invalueable so he does not feel alone. I remember asking "why me?" at that age and not getting any answers - I was the only diabetic in 600 children at grammar school. It is very hard for you both. If you need any advice lease ask as many here have been through it over the decades.

Best of luck.
 
Hi Anne. I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when I was 15 and I know my parents struggled to know what to do when I was figuring things out for myself. I had a great nurse at my local diabetes clinic that was constantly on my back, which was a real pain in the bum for me (!) but she reassured my parents as well. Maybe a similar point of contact at a local GP/diabetic clinic could help?

In my experience diabetic clinics are happy to have people drop-in/call/email/text whenever things are not quite right. Maybe your son could benefit from finding a trusted, helpful point of contact?
 
By the way, I was useless at being a diabetic when I first started and I have been learning ever since. My sugars were all over the place for months but I think I'm healthy and (fairly) normal now!
 
Hi Anne,

Its tough being the parent of a child with diabetes and teenagers bring added problems. My daughter is 15 next week and has been a type 1 for nearly three years. Overall we are lucky with her attitude to her condition but I know she finds it tough. She would be more than happy to chat to your son, maybe on MSN if he has it. Perhaps if he sees others his own age living with the same issues it may help. Worth a try anyway.
If you like she would be more than happy to contact him first as I know what they are like at this age. Let me know what you think. Private message me his details if you think it would help.

Take Care
Gill
 
Hi Anne,

Welcome to the forum, I was diagnosed a week before my 20th birthday so I can't really help with the teenage rebelious stage with diabetes unfortunately. Will the conslultant not help you try and drum in the message that if he doesn't look after himself complications will follow. I think if it were my son i'd ask the consultant if they knew any diabetics who are experiencing complications due to lack of control and to see if he could set up a meet for your son to see what could happen. I hope that you get things sorted soon.

Emma x
 
I refused to go to the hospital or speak to any doctor re: my diabetes for about 2 years when i was a teenager. Eventually my parents persuaded me by good old bribery - a new mobile phone. Bribes work!

My sister is 16 and also has diabetes. My parents have had/are having problems with some of her behaviour, although her behaviour towards diabetes is ok at the moment (touch wood!!!!!)

So - i would say that you are not alone!! Hopefully he will grow out of this phase soon and accept your help with his control.

Until then i guess try to talk to him calmly about it - show him that HE will feel better when his control is better, and when he accepts help from you.

Sorry if this isn't very helpful but i wanted you to know that you're not alone. 🙂
 
My friend's T1 son also rebelled. In the end we discovered that he couldn't get to grips with his control because he couldn't understand certain things. He had a mental block. It took a while to overcome it and with plenty of encouragement he has improved.

Don't take this question the wrong way.... Does your son really understand what is happening? Have you sat and asked him? A good time to get the real truth is when he's angry about his diabetes and it'll blurt out.
 
One thought. Is there any chance that he is being bullied at school? Injections and watching what you eat does make you different in some eyes. If a child is different and/or the other children do not understand bullying may be the result. I was subjected to bouts of it when I was at school and it is one reason I moved from school to college at 16. Sadly it still goes on today and probably more than some people would have you believe.
 
Hi Anne, and welcome. So sorry to hear you're having troubles with your son and the way he's dealing with diabetes, no wonder you're feeling frustrated.

Hopefully you'll be able to get through to him in the end the importance of good management, but of course, at 15 he's gonna rebel against everything you want him to do anyway.

Wishing you lots of luck.

xx
 
Hi there
I used to be exactly the same as your son when I was around 12 or 13, i did all the tricks to make my BMs look lower and everything, and my HbA1Cs were always above 11, at the highest I think it was 12.5. My mum always used to shout at me about it and i started to develop complications such as mild retinopathy and even had ketoacidosis at one point. Then I decided to go onto the insulin pump and after about 2 months of hard work my HBA1C is 7.6% and on its way down. I would definately suggest the pump - it can be very hard being a teenager on injections still as you don't want to look different and you just feel like giving up a lot of the time. Another thing is, I found someone to talk to who isn't exactly my age but helps me a lot. This may be good for your son to do - if he needs someone to talk to, I'm a 15 year old girl but still might be able to help! Hope you're ok.
 
Hey,

I know just how he feels. It's simply because I've been there and done that. I'm more than happy to talk to him about it if he wants. I'm happy to chat to him on MSN (can send you my address over PM if he wants) or whatever. What he needs to know is that he's not alone.

Tom
 
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