Parent of 11 year old T1 son

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djld

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Hi, just wondered if anybody had any advice to offer with handling aggressive mood swings? My son was diagnosed type1 three years ago but was also born with half a heart for which he has had several open heart surgeries. (He was on life support when he was born and had his first surgey at five days)/

At the moment, he is rather hard to handle and thinks he has been dealt more than his share of 'not fair in life' and can't understand why it's always him. It hasn't helped that he is not settling into secondary school and not making any friends. He blames his diabetes for destroying his life and just wants to be the same as everybody else.

If anybody can help, i'd be very grateful.
PS. Are there any other diabetic children with heart disease too?

Great site by the way, I should have done this earlier like I did for his heart condition!
 
Hi and welcome to the forum.:D

My son is 11 and was diagnosed 15 months ago. He has had a few 'its not fair' moments - but nothing we cant work out. He has also seen a physchologist to help him understand what impact having diabetes can have etc.. Have you thought about asking for professional help at all? Does your diabetes team have a counselling service?

This is a difficult age anyway - but then add into that the diabetes and the heart condition - its little wonder your son is feeling the way he is. Starting secondary school is also traumatic and they all want to 'fit in' which is difficult as there are so many in these schools - a vulnerable child with low self esteem can get lost very quickly and feel they are not part of things. Have you tried having friends over for dinner or a sleepover? Does your son take part in after school actitivites? What regimen is he on? My son is on a pump and control is so much better than injections. Are your sons levels on the high side as this may be contributing to the mood swings etc..🙂Bev
 
Hi and thanks for the welcome!
He has been seen by the psychologists for four years and has gone from bad to worse. The school have been very good with him but I think their patience will wear thin. He has taken part in some self esteem classes but still can't face going to school. He is currently on a 2 or 3 day week. As I said, the school are good but it can't last. I would try to have some children over but we live almost a two hour drive away from his school. When he was very young, my two girls needed to be somewhere they could carry on with their 'normal routine' so stay at their grandmothers. This has been very useful as some of his cardiac ops have required a long term stay. Because the school day is long enough for him (he still tires very easily) and the extra effort required to move between classes, he doesn't do any of the after school activities. The school recommended the boxing club to help with anger management but he can't do contact sports. He also doesn't cope well with the cold weather so this is a bad time of year for cardiac children. Roll on summer!

I have spoken to the clinic about a pump instead of injections but they don't think its a good idea for him. He is currently on novorapid and lantus.
 
hi and welcome i am sure that diabetes does not help in your son situation but you have to stay positive and you as mum as well i always think if the parents are positive can really help the growing up i had an horriblechildhod and i dont want it for graham so i try to be a good frind and a mum good luck and i hape things will be better for your family too xxxx daniela
 
It seems you are doing everything you can to try to help your son and the school do sound accomodating too. Its a pity you live so far from the school - would there be any possibility of changing schools for one nearer? I realise this may be difficult - but I am wondering whether it might help your son to make friends a bit closer to home and therefore help with the social side of things.

I dont know much about cardiac problems in children - I hadnt realised the part about feeling worse in the cold weather either. What I do know is that my son was on MDI for 9 months and he was quite miserable and his sugars where all over the place. From the second he started on the pump - his whole personality changed! He was happy again and had so much more energy then before and although he has the odd blip (like any other 11 year old boy) he is back to being the happy little boy he once was before diagnosis. Are your team reluctant about the pump because of the heart condition? If its not to do with the heart condition - I am not sure why they wouldnt be keen to start your son pumping. My son's hba1c has gone down from 9.6 on MDI to 7.1 in 6 months of being on the pump - you can get so much better control using a pump.

Sorry - I dont think I have been much help - it seems to me that you are trying everything you can and I dont know what else I could suggest.:(🙂Bev
 
It all helps so thank you 🙂 It's true that being staying positive is massively important. If you can't be positive as a parent what hope do the children have and they learn all their lessons from you. Declan's control isn't great at times and I know that doesn't help. I'm sure all his problems can't be helping any. If his hba1c goes back up i'll ask again at the next appointment.

I work full time so changing schools not a practical option. There is also a nurse on site three days a week and she is very good with him. In general the school are excellent with accommodating, much better than many I have heard of (even though they wouldn't let him on a school trip last week because he couldn't walk fast enough to keep up).

In the meantime, I'll do the same as all of us do, keep plugging away doing my best knowing we will get there in the end!
 
djld said:
It all helps so thank you 🙂 It's true that being staying positive is massively important. If you can't be positive as a parent what hope do the children have and they learn all their lessons from you. Declan's control isn't great at times and I know that doesn't help. I'm sure all his problems can't be helping any. If his hba1c goes back up i'll ask again at the next appointment.

I work full time so changing schools not a practical option. There is also a nurse on site three days a week and she is very good with him. In general the school are excellent with accommodating, much better than many I have heard of (even though they wouldn't let him on a school trip last week because he couldn't walk fast enough to keep up).

In the meantime, I'll do the same as all of us do, keep plugging away doing my best knowing we will get there in the end!
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Schools are not allowed to leave a disabled child out of any activity - they should make every effort to accomodate them. I would not be happy if my son was left out of any school activity because of his condition. This is contrary to the DDA and the school needs to understand that they have a duty to make the necessary arrangements to include your son in everything.🙂Bev
 
Hi and welcome to the forum.
 
Hi djld and welcome to the forum, you will be made very welcome here and the other parents are all fantasic people anything you need to know ask xx
 
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