Paranoid and slightly irrational?

[sarahb83]

Well almost a year down the road from diagnosis (will be a year in September) of type 2. I’ve lowered my hba1c from 89 to 38, I’m 7st lighter and way way way fitter, really enjoy exercising now which I never thought I’d say and being out in the countryside walking my little dogs is when I’m happiest (lucky to live in rural Northumberland). I’m now 39 and for the last 20 years I’ve suffered from depression when I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes last year it snowballed and became at times uncontrollable, I was bordering on hysterical much of the time. Over this past year I’ve learned to come to terms with this although it still scares me but I finally was starting to feel a bit better about all this but recently something complete different has triggered my depression and it’s at its worst in 20 years, I received a letter in the post with a gp appointment for an asthma review so although I really didn’t want to go out due to the way I’m feeling at the moment off I went under duress with my husband and when I sat down the health care assistant said it wasnt asthma it was diabetes yearly review it was at this point I totally freaked out and said no that’s not what the letter said and I’m not mentally prepared for this what If my hba1c has gone up I don’t think I’ll be able to cope with this right now and I burst into tears. My last hba1c was done in April - she said it was absolutely fine and to just come back in a few months when I’m ready. Then when I got home a couple of hours later I felt even worse cos I was then thinking am I just being even crazier than normal? I’m not doing anything I shouldn’t be and every time I test my bg 2 hours post meal it’s always either in the 6’s or 5’s. I’m the cold light of day (this happened on Friday) and now sitting here on Monday morning I’m thinking oh god I’ve been entirely irrational about this I should have just let her do everything

 

[trophywench]

Aaah - if people could just control the innards of their brains, there would be no need whatever for psychiatry or psychology ! - but there is.

You need to channel and enhance your Vulcan tendencies as it's not much help to you, them only coming into play 3 days after the upset happened, whereas Mr Spock would have told you on Friday, 'Not logical, Sarah.' Which indeed it wasn't really - but you already know that anyway.

Could 'mindfulness' techniques help here. does anyone happen to know? (I know some members here have mentioned them being helpful to them)

 

[Rob Oldfield]

Irrespective of the rest of your post, I do think it needs to be said that reducing your HbA1c from 89 to 38, and losing 7st, is absolutely fabulous work! You should be extremely proud of yourself (and definitely give yourself a bit of leeway for things not going quite so brilliantly now or in the future).

 

[EmmaL76]

I could of written this post last year. I’m 2 years in sept. I was also just recovering from a deep depression when I got my diagnosis. Because of my age it was assumed type 2 but because I was skinny and had some other health issues my doctors went a bit over the top testing me for cancers and all sorts. This lead to extreme health anxiety, I even changed doctors because I couldn’t go in that building ! although I would drive myself crazy about every little sensation in my body instead of me wanting to go get checked out, my anxiety could not cope with going to the doctors, and waiting for results I found particularly unbearable, kind of like I could only just cope and if I heard one negative thing then it would push me over the edge. I haven’t got any quick fire solution, but it does get easier with time. That panic you feel will lessen. I could never see a time where I could feel anywhere near normal but I am getting there, now if I have a blood test I say to myself, it will probably be just fine but if somethings slightly off I can make it better, because in 99% of cases we can! Health anxiety is real and it’s crippling but you will process all this in time, your diabetes will become second nature. There is life after the big D, promise. Xx

 

[Bloden]

Irrespective of the rest of your post, I do think it needs to be said that reducing your HbA1c from 89 to 38, and losing 7st, is absolutely fabulous work! You should be extremely proud of yourself.

Just what I was thinking. Well done @sarahb83 - give yourself a big pat on the back.

 

[Drummer]

I just don't do anxiety, but when I was called in for a 'health check' and did the preparation asked for in the letter, went along to another surgery in the group to see a total stranger, and then found that it was a diabetes check, I was somewhat irked.
I think that HCPs really don't appreciate the way people prepare themselves for a meeting with them and can be quite cavalier about the 'minor detail' of total misinformation.
Your after meal levels do seem absolutely fine, and your Hba1c was probably good - but you don't seem to have been told what it was back in April. What a carry on. Your surgery seems a bit shambolic and it must be difficult to deal with them.

 

[sarahb83]

I just don't do anxiety, but when I was called in for a 'health check' and did the preparation asked for in the letter, went along to another surgery in the group to see a total stranger, and then found that it was a diabetes check, I was somewhat irked.
I think that HCPs really don't appreciate the way people prepare themselves for a meeting with them and can be quite cavalier about the 'minor detail' of total misinformation.
Your after meal levels do seem absolutely fine, and your Hba1c was probably good - but you don't seem to have been told what it was back in April. What a carry on. Your surgery seems a bit shambolic and it must be difficult to deal with them.

Back in April is sitting at 38

 

[Wannie]

Well done on more than halving your Hba1c and losing all that weight, you've done amazing.