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now VERY ANNOYED!

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This thread is now closed. Please contact Anna DUK, Ieva DUK or everydayupsanddowns if you would like it re-opened.
B

bev

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Parent of person with diabetes
Got a call from the mental health team as i was worried about alex and depression and asked for him to go and see someone.

Stupid idiot woman asked me what i termed as a hypo. I told her anything under 4 - she said well your over reacting as a hypo just means a change in behaviour and i dont know why you think being under 4 is a problem!

She had spoken to our dsm and she had told her that i checked him every half hour when it was snowing and that she thought i was being over exessive and anxious!!!!!!!!! I explaned that yes i did check that often because he was newly diagnosed and his levelsplummeted and i found loads of hypo - so what did she want me to do just leave him to play and go unconcious? She asked me again what i termed as a hypo and i explained in medical terms and told her i hat to get sugar into him asap - she said ' a hypo is just a change in behaviour' and doesnt need to be checked every half an hour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then she said our dsn had told her that there is absolutely no need to EVER check him in the night and i was being obsessive --i told her that if i had the use of a cgm that i wouldnt NEED to check him and that it was the dsn who had told me to check him - WHICH IT WAS - to check if he was hypoing and having a rebound and therefore wakng up high!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I explained that the clinic had LOST the cgm and that most clinics have these for diabetic children - she then told me that in her experience (counciller) - children with diabetes didnt need to be checked and hadnt heard of a cgm!!!!!!!! I explained in more detail and she said she would refer me to a clinical physcologist as she didnt understand the medical terms i was using and she thought i was over anxious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I started to cry and she said 'whats brought the tears on'!? I said ' well our dsn saying i was over anxious andsaying that i shouldnt check - and you telling ME what a hypo is when your clearl wrong'!!!!!!!!

She then said she was sorry she upset me and that i clearly knew more than her and she hadnt understood what a hypo was and didnt understand that sugar needed to be given and that she now knew why i checked him in the s now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have left a message for teh consultant to ring me and his secretary said 'can i say what its about'? I said 'yes its a complaint'!!!!!!!!!!


I am sitting here crying thinking ' why is all the medical profesion against me and think i am over reacting when all i am tring to do is get his levesl within range - and they wont give me a flippin cgm!!!!!' Bev
 
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Bev

I've just sent a pm to you....

Heidi
🙂
 
Hi bev,

I hope I can help you here..as a mum to another mum:

Firstly it is proven that all diabetic children should and do need access to a trained counsellor or support from a mental health team. This can be either the whole family in some sessions or individual sessions. You are very right to request this for Alex.
Another thing is as a counsellor/therapist she is in no way qualified to make an assumption that a blood reading of 4 or under is not you over reacting....nor is it a change in behaviour. It is a serious medical condition that requires immediate assistance....THE GOLDEN PHRASE WE WERE TOLD ID 4 IS THE FLOOR..... When treating a hypo blood need to be checked every 10mins or so to show that recovery is happening...I follow this rule for at least 3/4 of a hour after Nathan has hypo'd regardless of wether it is day or night...This is what our DSN said to do and was the correct procedure to follow.
Alex is newly diagnosed and therefore to help you/family and alex learn more about about his diabetes you do need to check his blood more often, because you then can decide on following insulin reductions/additions, carbs etc.
You are in no way being obsessive, with checking etc...I still do with nathan....IF IN DOUBT CHECK...thats what we are told.
This counsellor has no right to psychoanalyise you...You are being denied what alex is entitiled to...keep fighting till you get him an appointment.
You have every right to complain and request an immediate appointment with his consultant....Last time a secretary challenged me what I wanted an appointment for I calmly replied..'' When you have been to medical school and have Dr in front of your name, I will happily discuss that with you, until then could you please make me an appointment, as that is what I'm sure is in your job description.

Hope this helps bev....I like many other parents feel exactly like you...sending you big hugs...

Heidi
🙂
 
bev said:
Got a call from the mental health team as i was worried about alex and depression and asked for him to go and see someone.
Click to expand...

I feel really sorry for you and Alex. I really believe you should have been treated better by that ar**hole on the phone.

I really hope you and Alex can get what you need without all the hassle. The trouble with some of these so called professionals is they don't understand how to respect people.

Best wishes for a satisfactory outcome Bev.
 
Bev, you are having an astonishingly bad time at the hands of these so-called 'professionals'! I am absolutely appalled, and you should know that you have been absolutely spot-on in your behaviour with regard to Alex. I am FUMING!!!!! For a counsellor to make those statements - they really should NOT be doing that job.

Complain - you clearly know more than the people assigned to support you. What on earth is that DSN thinking? She needs to read here to see what an exemplary mother you have been, and the huge value your experiences have given to other mums reading here.

My thoughts are with you, you are a dear, wonderful woman who should not be subjected to this dreadful abuse.
 
Northerner said:
Bev, you are having an astonishingly bad time at the hands of these so-called 'professionals'! I am absolutely appalled, and you should know that you have been absolutely spot-on in your behaviour with regard to Alex. I am FUMING!!!!! For a counsellor to make those statements - they really should NOT be doing that job.

Complain - you clearly know more than the people assigned to support you. What on earth is that DSN thinking? She needs to read here to see what an exemplary mother you have been, and the huge value your experiences have given to other mums reading here.

My thoughts are with you, you are a dear, wonderful woman who should not be subjected to this dreadful abuse.
Click to expand...



I second that Northerner

Heidi
🙂
 
Northerner said:
Bev, you are having an astonishingly bad time at the hands of these so-called 'professionals'! I am absolutely appalled, and you should know that you have been absolutely spot-on in your behaviour with regard to Alex. I am FUMING!!!!! For a counsellor to make those statements - they really should NOT be doing that job.

Complain - you clearly know more than the people assigned to support you. What on earth is that DSN thinking? She needs to read here to see what an exemplary mother you have been, and the huge value your experiences have given to other mums reading here.

My thoughts are with you, you are a dear, wonderful woman who should not be subjected to this dreadful abuse.
Click to expand...
I too second that Northerner, Bev you have been treated in a TOTALLY unacceptable way

Warmest Regards Dodger
 
Hi Bev. I am so sorry to hear of your experience. I would cry too! You are doing a fantastic job and not being over anxious. So much i could say here but the others have already said it so i will just second it.
Feel free to send a pm anytime.
Keep strong. You are being a responsible and caring mother. Keep up the good work! xx🙂
 
What the hell?? They got some idot to talk to you who doesnt know anything about diabetes??? I'm sorry you got upset Bev, SHE should be upset because she's so bad at her job and embarrassingly had to attempt to give you advice when she knew nothing about the condition 😱

At the clinic I go to in Bournemouth they have a psychologist that is specifically there to help people with diabetes, so she knows all about it. This is the kind of person you should have spoken to. You definitely should complain. Especially because she was trying to tell you what a hyo ISN'T. I would have cried too! *HUGS*

xx
 
Cor blimey, you give em what for.

It's not easy being a mum of a diabetic I'm sure, bad enough being one.

I hope you get your cgm and as importantly in a different way your complaint in. Some of these jobs worth even get my blood boiling.

Best wishes for you and Alex.

If it helps have another rant anytime on here!
 
Hi all,
I have been to the park with Alex and have calmed down now.

The Consultant rang me back and i explained very calmly what had taken place today.
He was horrified and said that he is embarrased that the whole team have let us down. He said ' we are here to support you and Alex' and we are not doing that and i apologise. He said he will be speaking to the DSN about what had happened. He also said that he would have given the advice to test every half an hour whilst playing in the snow as levels do plummet and he was newly diagnosed. He also said that checking at 3 in the morning because he had been waking up high was not excessive or over anxious - it gives us a picture into what is happening. I did point out that if they hadnt lost the docking station for the cgm then i wouldnt have had to do this! He apologised for that and said that we are indeed doing the right thing. And more importantly he said that everybody deals with diabetes of a child in different ways - and there isnt a 'right way' - there is just a parents way!

He said that trying to get your child 'within range' is NOT being obssessive, it is simply trying to decrease any future complications.

He has asked me to email him with Alex's graphs ( i sent off for the software on monday) and he said he will use these graphs to put forward a good case for getting him on the pump. So maybe one good thing has come out of this.

I do feel very let down from the medical profession today - but mostly from our DSN. I wont even comment on the stupid woman who tried to tell me what a hypo was!
If this is a glimpse into the world of mental health 'councilling' then i think we will steer clear. The saddest thing about this is that now Alex wont even be offered the help he needed because i really wouldnt trust them with him!

Thankyou so much for all your kind words - it really is reassuring that i wasnt going mad! Oh and by the way i mentioned i was on the forum and she councillor said ' do you think its a good idea to be speaking to these people as it seems to make you anxious'!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. It normally takes a lot for me to cry - i am not one who turns the taps on at the drop of a hat - so i am angry that a person i have never met managed to do this to me!😡 Bev
 
bev said:
Hi all,
I have been to the park with Alex and have calmed down now.

The Consultant rang me back and i explained very calmly what had taken place today.
He was horrified and said that he is embarrased that the whole team have let us down. He said ' we are here to support you and Alex' and we are not doing that and i apologise. He said he will be speaking to the DSN about what had happened. He also said that he would have given the advice to test every half an hour whilst playing in the snow as levels do plummet and he was newly diagnosed. He also said that checking at 3 in the morning because he had been waking up high was not excessive or over anxious - it gives us a picture into what is happening. I did point out that if they hadnt lost the docking station for the cgm then i wouldnt have had to do this! He apologised for that and said that we are indeed doing the right thing. And more importantly he said that everybody deals with diabetes of a child in different ways - and there isnt a 'right way' - there is just a parents way!

He said that trying to get your child 'within range' is NOT being obssessive, it is simply trying to decrease any future complications.

He has asked me to email him with Alex's graphs ( i sent off for the software on monday) and he said he will use these graphs to put forward a good case for getting him on the pump. So maybe one good thing has come out of this.

I do feel very let down from the medical profession today - but mostly from our DSN. I wont even comment on the stupid woman who tried to tell me what a hypo was!
If this is a glimpse into the world of mental health 'councilling' then i think we will steer clear. The saddest thing about this is that now Alex wont even be offered the help he needed because i really wouldnt trust them with him!

Thankyou so much for all your kind words - it really is reassuring that i wasnt going mad! Oh and by the way i mentioned i was on the forum and she councillor said ' do you think its a good idea to be speaking to these people as it seems to make you anxious'!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. It normally takes a lot for me to cry - i am not one who turns the taps on at the drop of a hat - so i am angry that a person i have never met managed to do this to me!😡 Bev
Click to expand...

Bev, so relieved that the consultant called and said all this to you. You have been treated very badly today and anybody would have cried with the frustration you have experienced. I would definately put in a complaint about the so called councillor, she should not be in a "caring" profession when she clearly isnt professional or by the sounds of it qualified to be dealing with diabetics. Its plain wrong what you have endured today and she should not be allowed to get away with treating people like this. You are not mad or wrong to cry, you are a very loving, caring mother and Alex is very lucky to have you as his mum. As for the dsn I would wait and see what she has to say first, as it may turn out the "councillor" has got this wrong, as she clearly did not know what the hell she was on about!

But out of this lets hope there is a good outcome and alex gets his pump soon! 🙂
 
Bev, did not see your earlier thread re the dsn. if i was you i would ask for another dsn for alexs care, one who is more understanding of what you are both trying to achieve! dont let them upset you, you are right, they are wrong!!
 
Bev you are one of the most fantastic ladies i know and i know alex will feel very lucky to have a mum like you who looks out for him all the time. as for the dsn i would defo make a complaint with the consultant. if he isnt willing then get on to the pct and also anyone else who will here your voice. she was well out of line and if it was me i would have given her a total earfull.
 
Bev, in your own interest and those of other children and parents at the hands of these two individuals you have a right to formally complain against them.

Their actions are beyond comprehension or words able to be written here - they are dangerous and I think I am right to say, evil individuals.

Your consultant can kick, but without your backing he can't make the changes that will make the lives of others in your area better, who knows safer? You were strong and stood up to them, where others would crumble.

I can't imagine how tough today has been, but your vindication must be rather sweet - well done for winning the day.

Alex is a lucky lad to have a mother fight his corner as you have.
 
mikep1979 said:
Bev you are one of the most fantastic ladies i know and i know alex will feel very lucky to have a mum like you who looks out for him all the time. as for the dsn i would defo make a complaint with the consultant. if he isnt willing then get on to the pct and also anyone else who will here your voice. she was well out of line and if it was me i would have given her a total earfull.
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Well said Mike, I agree with your every word.

Bev, you are so fantastic and I am so upset you are being treated so badly. It makes me so angry.

I would contact your hospital PALS department (Pateint Liason Service) who will be able to find a link online on your hospital website and take some advice. I would also change your DSN, the relationship is damaged and you dont have to put up with that. You have every right to good healthcare, its such a shame they are under-par in their provision to you.

I hope you have the courage to 'pick up' and carry on Bev. The support shown on this thread speaks for itself and we all believe in you and what you do. God I wish I could take you both down my clinic- its not the best clinic in the world and Ive transiently passed through a few naff experiences but I have now found the right people who give me the right care and its worth it.

Wish you love and luck, Bev! xx

Lou xx
 
Hi bev,

I totally agree with einstein and sugerbum

Take care
Heidi
🙂
 
I'm not sure what I can say that doesn't echo what others have said very succinctly, but they were TOTALLY out of line, and should never have presumed to say these things to you. From everything I've read, you don't seem in the least bit obsessive, and they have no right to make you feel patronised. *hugs*
 
Bev, I've as usual picked this up late -- can only add my absolute horror to this list. How utterly appalling and depressing.

You are doing the right things. You absolutely are. I hope that woman is out on her ear. Soon.
 
Hi Bev, I think you are doing abrilliant job with very little support. Professionals forget that the mums need as much support as the kids. We all worry when our kids get a cold, and diabetes just wont go away however much we wish it would.

Do ask for another DSN. Is she a mum? I hope not for the sake of the kids!

I'm glad you and Alex felt better. I hope things will work out for you.
 
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