Not coping as well as i thought

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D_G

D_G

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
Got sent home today from work as i was feeling crappy (and apparently looked it) so thought i would do some few bits of food shopping on the way home...get to my bank to get money and i have ?0 NIL! i had gone over my overdraft limit and started freaking out as 2 weeks till payday, plus me going over my overdraft limit means a bank charge next month of ?45!!

Got home, and just began to cry, as if it triggered me to think about all the problems i had, i just sat on my bed and cried to myself. After a bit my flatmate came home and came in to see if i was ok, seeing i clearly wasnt she hugged me and immediatly burst into floods of tears barely able to talk, she knew what it was about and after i had finished we had a really good chat about it. (she is very wise my flatmate 🙂 )

I just thought i was coping so well with it all and so did everyone else, but i guess i was just putting up a front for everyone to make it look like i was ok and i dint need anyone to help me, when inside i was just screaming! so i think i am maybe past the denial stage now and into the grieving..i grieve for my old life and i had kept all this emotion bottled up for so long and it felt so good to let it out (over my poor flatmate) i felt so much better afterwards and she also put some money in my account so i would not have to worry and so i have just managed to avoid the bank charge as we had to run there before 5pm to put the money in!

It was just weird how this triggered off all this emotion i let out today! i have learned i need to be more open to people, not put on a fake front and when i need to cry..let it out! well i guess i am not coping as well as i thought..... :(
 
I hope you feel better. Your flatmate sounds great and supportive. We all have days when we just can't cope and feel the whole world is against us and need to hide away for a good bawl. It is good you we able to tell all of us too.
 
hey DG just caught up with your thread ...well done for vocalising it Im sure it really does help x you have been on a real rollercoaster in the last few months keep strong... you are obviously on a low income can you get any tax credits Housing Benefit ??? or have we already talked about this ? big hugs xx
 
Big hug, D_G! Sorry to hear you're feeling low, but it is only natural to feel that way after such a big change to your life. Sometimes you just have to let it all out.

Your housemate sounds brilliant, I'm glad you weren't alone. And don't worry about letting it all out on her, I'm sure you would do the same for her when she needed support too.

You have done so well to learn so much about diabetes since you were diagnosed, and you are getting really good results, so you can be proud of yourself for getting on with the practical side of it so well. Unfortunately I think the emotional side is harder - the fact that this is for ever and you can't have a day off. When that hits you like it did today then it is horrible, I do remember feeling like I was grieving too, and the smallest thing could set me off. Unfortunately there's not really a solution, only time and space.

What do you like to do in your spare time? Have you taken part in any hobbies since you got diagnosed? I found something like going for a hike or a run was good because you get some space to clear your head and I was proving to myself that I was still the same person and could still enjoy the same things. Look after yourself for a few days, take nice long baths or whatever else you enjoy.

Feel free to rant on here anytime, no fronts are required in here!
 
Do hope your feelin bit better by now 🙂.

It is sooo much betta to let things out instead of bottling things up! Sometimes we don't want others to see how vulnerable we feel and so we carry on regardless until the day comes when we just have to give into our feelings! It feels like hitting a wall at breakneck speed. Just take it easy for a while.

I do so hope things improve for you very soon, take care, lv shirl x
 
I also hope ure feeling better now dg,

You have done so well learning about it all, you have been diagonsed less time than me and you are already carb counting which is excellent, plus your questions you ask on here are so useful for others to read for learning too.

Take Care and chin up dg x 🙂
 
Hey DG

I sorta know how you feel..... people who know me think i'm a sensible, together professional who got the diagnosis, took it all in her stride and still walks long-distance footpaths on her own

People who REALLY know me, know that despite it being a year on, i still need to cry sometimes, get grumpy about the recent weight-gain, and did more than wail 'it's not fair' when a friend cooked me a whole cake-tin full of amazing cup-cakes and had to leave it at my Mum's house or else I'd have eaten them all in one evening, on my own.

In truth, there's a lot of pressure for people with disease like ours to be remarkable, strong against the odds, excellent copers, unstoppable......

But hey, we're human, and voicing emotion is good for us.
 
am64 said:
hey DG just caught up with your thread ...well done for vocalising it Im sure it really does help x you have been on a real rollercoaster in the last few months keep strong... you are obviously on a low income can you get any tax credits Housing Benefit ??? or have we already talked about this ? big hugs xx
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Hey, yea we did touch on thisa while back i checked everything and not entitled to anything unfortunately! i am on peanuts practically as i work in a preschool which are not full time hours and crappy pay but its the best job i ever had and i love it soo much! its a question of job satisfaction against better fianances :( I am hoping for the libdems to go througt with their promise of the new higher tax allowance that would help me an awful lot but who knows wot will happen with these polititians!

Pigeon said:
Big hug, D_G! Sorry to hear you're feeling low, but it is only natural to feel that way after such a big change to your life. Sometimes you just have to let it all out.

Your housemate sounds brilliant, I'm glad you weren't alone. And don't worry about letting it all out on her, I'm sure you would do the same for her when she needed support too.

You have done so well to learn so much about diabetes since you were diagnosed, and you are getting really good results, so you can be proud of yourself for getting on with the practical side of it so well. Unfortunately I think the emotional side is harder - the fact that this is for ever and you can't have a day off. When that hits you like it did today then it is horrible, I do remember feeling like I was grieving too, and the smallest thing could set me off. Unfortunately there's not really a solution, only time and space.

What do you like to do in your spare time? Have you taken part in any hobbies since you got diagnosed? I found something like going for a hike or a run was good because you get some space to clear your head and I was proving to myself that I was still the same person and could still enjoy the same things. Look after yourself for a few days, take nice long baths or whatever else you enjoy.

Feel free to rant on here anytime, no fronts are required in here!
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My flatmate is actualy the best, im so lucky to have met her 🙂 i do a fair bit of baking in my spare time, as i used to do alot pre-diagnosis, obvi i dont do as much now but i dabble in diabetic baking, it does pass the time and gives me something else to think about, i have started going to the gym as well as this also passes the time after finishing work, i just hope to see some results soon!

Thanks everyone i do feel much better after letting it all out today. i think the last straw was the financial problems i have been having and something just snapped inside of me! but i am going to let it out more often and be more open, so you can expect alot more rants from me in the future 🙄

Hope everyone is ok today
D_G

xx
 
hey DG glad your feeling a better ...good rant is always goods for the soul !!!
 
hey, really glad you're feeling a bit better. i truly think that sometimes the best thing to do is to get it all out - even if it upsets you a bit to do it, at least it gets it off your chest.

being diagnosed is a HUGE, life changing event, and we're all here to listen to you and help you out where we can 🙂
 
I love baking too, the first thing everyone said when I was diagnosed was "what about your baking?"

I find muffins can be made quite healthy (well, compared to other cakes) and you can make them with lots of fruit, or sweeteners or honey and it doesn't affect the texture like it can with other cakes.

My mum got me a recipe book full of different chocolate brownie recipes last Christmas (erm, hello, mum...?) and so when I want to make something indulgent like that I take it into work to share so I enjoy making it, but only eat a few pieces.
 
Pigeon said:
I love baking too, the first thing everyone said when I was diagnosed was "what about your baking?"

I find muffins can be made quite healthy (well, compared to other cakes) and you can make them with lots of fruit, or sweeteners or honey and it doesn't affect the texture like it can with other cakes.

My mum got me a recipe book full of different chocolate brownie recipes last Christmas (erm, hello, mum...?) and so when I want to make something indulgent like that I take it into work to share so I enjoy making it, but only eat a few pieces.
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Yea i used to bake a cake and eat it like twice a week!! i tried a no flour choc cake a while ago which worked ok! when i do fancy something nice like brownies or cake i just bake it with half the sugar and substitute white flour for ground almonds...sometimes it works and sometimes it really doesnt!! i have looked at recipes for muffins but they seem to have so much ingrediants, i dont suppose you know any simple recipes you could share :D
 
Yeah, I've got a basic muffin recipe which you can modify with different ingredients - will post it in the recipe section over the weekend as I'm off to bed now!

It would be good to know which of your recipes work with replacement ground almonds, maybe you could post your successful modified recipes too!
 
Pigeon said:
Yeah, I've got a basic muffin recipe which you can modify with different ingredients - will post it in the recipe section over the weekend as I'm off to bed now!

It would be good to know which of your recipes work with replacement ground almonds, maybe you could post your successful modified recipes too!
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Thanks lookin forward to it 🙂

Yea like i said some of them do work and some dont....it depends how deperate you are for something sweet! that may not taste as good as it should lol but will post when i find sucess!
 
Evening D_G glad you had a good rant and let it all out, I think I am often looked at as coping lovely if only they knew🙄 Anyway I'm not ranting just yet but I'm sure I'll be there soon!

Take care and rant away at any time!🙂
 
rossi_mac said:
Evening D_G glad you had a good rant and let it all out, I think I am often looked at as coping lovely if only they knew🙄 Anyway I'm not ranting just yet but I'm sure I'll be there soon!

Take care and rant away at any time!🙂
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Thanks Rossi. oh yea i let everything out! had nothing left and felt so much better....thats the thing about diabetes, you cant see the pain as it is all inside :( and people who dont understand just think your coping so well, i guess thats what i wanted them to think (and myself) thats why i started my blog to raise awareness so people can get a better understanding of it all.

Take care of urself too and remember to rant..its good for you lol :D
 
we live with an invisible illness - which has its benefits and its major drawbacks ('oh, but you look FINE!' when you're at like, 2.8 or 17.9). massive hugs - that's what it wonderful about this place, we get it. we totally understand and we get it.
 
Thanks DG I will try and rant but I'm a bloke🙄 Bit peeved at the mo just back from a meal and a few drinkies and tested 17 odd! And I had the why are you so high question (meant well but..) Grrr! Haven't been that high for ages and ages, but down to 13 now so will probably curl up to bed now, and hope I have a good nights kip, last few mornings I've taken an age to wake, bucket of cold water probably be needed!

You're right this place was sorry is worth a knighthood!

night all 🙂
 
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