Hi and welcome.
Sorry to hear you are feeling burnt out with managing your diabetes. I am sure I don't need to tell you that diabetes takes up a lot of mental bandwidth day in, day out, meal by meal, car journey by car journey, before during and after any exercise and activity and even whilst we sleep our mind has to continue monitoring things and perhaps intervening to wake us to take action. I think it is important firstly to acknowledge that you have been successfully managing that drain on your mental resources for a long time, so give yourself a big pat on the back. I wonder if perhaps there are currently other issues which are placing extra needs on your mental capacity making the diabetes more challenging now because you can't spare it as much capacity.
I have only been managing my diabetes 4 years but I know that there is a need to ebb and flow with it. Sometimes, it is OK and even necessary to drop your standards a bit and just do the bare essentials to tread water with it and then when you feel a bit better, you can take up the slack and have more control. When you hit those challenging times, finding little strategies to get you though can help. I believe
@Inka and
@SB2015 have been through burnout and talked openly about their experiences here on the forum and what helped for them.
Which pump do you have and is it integrated with a sensor into a closed loop system. If not, perhaps that would be something to discuss with your team to take some of the strain off you, although it can take some extra input initially I believe. Or perhaps a break from your pump and going back to injections for a short (or long) while might give you some respite. I don't have a pump, but I use Libre and whilst I absolutely love it and the data it gives me, sometimes when things are not going so well, it starts to feel a bit like "the spy in the cab" and I resent it recording every little mistake or bad decision I make. If I then have a break from it, I come back to it in a week or two feeling almost relieved to have it back and appreciative of how much it helps me, so it might be worth considering a pump break, if those are the sort of feeling you are having.
Another thing that really helps mentally, is just connecting and comparing notes with others in a similar situation, which is why this forum is such a wonderful resource. It is hard for none diabetics to really understand how much thought we have to devote to our diabetes on a daily basis, so it can be quite isolating, but here we get it. We understand the need to have a good moan sometimes about the fickleness of diabetes and a rant about the unfairness of it all is perfectly reasonable and also if you have a particularly well won victory over your diabetes (no matter how trivial) which needs sharing with others who really understand, this is the place to come and shout it from the rooftops.
Anyway, just wanted to say, you are not alone with these feelings, they come and more importantly go for many people at different times and you will get through it. Sometimes we put a little too much pressure on ourselves to manage our diabetes well, perhaps better than it actually needs to be managed, so cutting ourselves a little slack is all that is needed for a while. My uncle was diagnosed long before BG meters and modern insulins. He was found and hospitalized numerous times with DKA or unconscious with hypos throughout his life but he was still cycling on his own at 80 and died at 88 which is a good innings for anyone, let alone someone whose BG levels had been erratic for most of his life, not necessarily through mismanagement of course but just not the modern technology to support him to manage it well as we now have today. That thought, allows me to accept that even if I have what I consider to be a really bad day with my levels, I am probably still doing better than my Uncle who was mostly ignorant of what his levels were doing, so to try not to sweat too much about it.
