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Newbie supporting a newly diagnosed partner
- Thread starter CMH
- Start date
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Thank you Inka! He hasn’t been told yet. The diabetes nurse said it was more likely to be type one because he’s under 40 and has lost a lot of weight but that was in an initial phone appointment. He hasn’t had the in person appointment yet and hasn’t started any treatment.
Inka
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
Ah, that does sound like Type 1 with the weight loss @CMH It can be quite sudden and a large amount. My main concern would be what’s his blood sugar now and does he have any ketones? Ketones can be dangerous as they can build up in the blood leading to something called diabetic ketoacidosis (DKA). You can get urine dipsticks to test for ketones. They’re called Ketostix and are around £5.
I would expect a Type 1 to get pretty quick attention for that reason. When was he diagnosed and when is he being seen? It would be a concern if he had to wait. Many adults with Type 1 are sent straight to hospital.
(I realise I haven’t answered your mental health question, but I’m concerned about the physical risks if he’s receiving no treatment. However, if he’s blaming himself, do tell him Type 1 is an auto-immune condition and not due to anything he did or didn’t do.)
I would expect a Type 1 to get pretty quick attention for that reason. When was he diagnosed and when is he being seen? It would be a concern if he had to wait. Many adults with Type 1 are sent straight to hospital.
(I realise I haven’t answered your mental health question, but I’m concerned about the physical risks if he’s receiving no treatment. However, if he’s blaming himself, do tell him Type 1 is an auto-immune condition and not due to anything he did or didn’t do.)
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He was diagnosed last week. He had an appointment with the diabetic nurse on yesterday, but he’s been having some issues with direhea and we were late leaving the house. When we turned up to the appointment 20mins late, they said the nurse wasn’t able to see him because we were too late. I’d been reading about DKA and he had persistent stomach pain and so phoned 111. They sent him to A&E where the doctor checked for keytones and he was clear. They gave him some oral rehydration salts but no other treatment and sent him home. His blood sugar was at 20 last time it was checked but he hasn’t been given a blood sugar monitor yet so he isn’t able to check his own. Now the diabetic nurse team have said they’ll make a new appointment within 5 working days. So hopefully he’ll be able to get that by the middle of next week. He’s so frustrated and depressed with the whole experience that I’m worried his mental health is going to make it hard for him to engage with treatment. He’s already needle phobic.
Leadinglights
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 2
Inka
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
@CMH Having an upset stomach can’t make him feel any better, poor thing. You did the right thing going to A&E - absolutely right. I’m still shocked that he’s being left all those days and that the nurse didn’t see him because he was late. Normally that might be understandable, but when someone has suspected Type 1, it’s not good really (understatement). He’s lucky he’s got you to support him. Don’t be afraid to push politely but firmly if you feel he’s not getting the right treatment or not soon enough.
I have a needle phobia. It was hard when I was first diagnosed, but I have ways to deal with it now. I still struggle with other people doing injections (eg vaccinations) and having blood taken is a challenge, but with the diabetes I’m in control doing the injection and it’s ok. Id also say that the needles for insulin are very tiny and very very thin. They’re nothing like the whacking great needles at the GPs.
If he does have Type 1, he will need to engage with treatment as otherwise he will become extremely ill. Although that’s a horrible thing to think about - having to do injections to stay alive - it can also be thought of positively. Before insulin, Type 1 was a terminal condition. Now we have the miraculous insulin (and it is a miracle) and we can get on with our lives.
dalebyrne88
Active Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 2
Sorry to hear about your partners ongoing struggles I know first hand with regards to mental health I have struggled and self harmed myself in different ways trying to struggle and the damage I have done to my body.
With hindsight I wish I was able to ask for help from people closet to me to help me to deal with day to day things. Also I wished I actually took my meds and not stop taking them because I was depressed for roughly 2 years.
What is your partners diet like I have personally found sorting thus out has seriously sorted my sugars and if I keep it the way they are heading hopefully stop getting further health problems and allow my body to deal with no more stress.
With hindsight I wish I was able to ask for help from people closet to me to help me to deal with day to day things. Also I wished I actually took my meds and not stop taking them because I was depressed for roughly 2 years.
What is your partners diet like I have personally found sorting thus out has seriously sorted my sugars and if I keep it the way they are heading hopefully stop getting further health problems and allow my body to deal with no more stress.
Inka
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
@dalebyrne88 Sorry to hear about your difficulties with self harm. I hope things are better for you now.
Just to say that if the OP’s partner does have Type 1 the answer is insulin. Type 1s can eat a pretty much normal diet. All we need to do is take the appropriate amounts of insulin. Even if we ate nothing, we’d still need insulin to keep us alive. Type 1 cannot be treated by diet. It’s an auto-immune condition unrelated to poor diet or weight, where our bodies own immune systems mistakenly destroy the crucial insulin-producing cells in our pancreas. Before insulin was discovered, it was terminal. I write this not so much for you but for casual readers of the forum who might think you can treat Type 1 with diet - you can’t. That’s why there’s the concern about the OP’s partner as, if he is Type 1, he’s at risk of DKA, which can be extremely serious.
Just to say that if the OP’s partner does have Type 1 the answer is insulin. Type 1s can eat a pretty much normal diet. All we need to do is take the appropriate amounts of insulin. Even if we ate nothing, we’d still need insulin to keep us alive. Type 1 cannot be treated by diet. It’s an auto-immune condition unrelated to poor diet or weight, where our bodies own immune systems mistakenly destroy the crucial insulin-producing cells in our pancreas. Before insulin was discovered, it was terminal. I write this not so much for you but for casual readers of the forum who might think you can treat Type 1 with diet - you can’t. That’s why there’s the concern about the OP’s partner as, if he is Type 1, he’s at risk of DKA, which can be extremely serious.
Sorry to hear about your struggles @dalebyrne88 . When you say you wish you had been able to ask for help from your loved ones, I wonder if you’d mind me asking about what kind of help you wish you could have got. Do you think that there might be something that I could offer to do for him or suggest so that he doesn’t have to ask? I hope you don’t think I’m being to nosey, I’m just desperate to help in any way I can. Please feel free to ignore me if you don’t feel comfortable asking!
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Glad your other half got seen at A&E yesterday @CMH , and was found to be clear of ketones. You did exactly the right thing getting seen.
Without wanting you to worry any more, I would also (from personal experience) be wanting him to ask for an Xray or CT scan of the abdominal area to give that a quick check that there’s nothing obviously awry there that may explain the sudden weight loss if they decide it isn’t T1.
This all may be in hand already, but there can be other changes around the pancreas/gut (cysts, pancreatitis, lumps and bumps) that can affect how food is or isn’t absorbed. T2 can be such an obvious folder to put people in, that some HCPs almost default to it and stop looking any further at the atypical aspects of a presentation (young age, weight loss, not much extra weight carried).
Glad you are there to support him. That will make ot much easier for him going forward. 🙂
Without wanting you to worry any more, I would also (from personal experience) be wanting him to ask for an Xray or CT scan of the abdominal area to give that a quick check that there’s nothing obviously awry there that may explain the sudden weight loss if they decide it isn’t T1.
This all may be in hand already, but there can be other changes around the pancreas/gut (cysts, pancreatitis, lumps and bumps) that can affect how food is or isn’t absorbed. T2 can be such an obvious folder to put people in, that some HCPs almost default to it and stop looking any further at the atypical aspects of a presentation (young age, weight loss, not much extra weight carried).
Glad you are there to support him. That will make ot much easier for him going forward. 🙂
dalebyrne88
Active Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 2
Its hard to fully explaon but I blamed myself for getting diabetes and never fully understood how much impact diabetes affected my life also my family life such as partner and kids because when I was working really hard 6 days a week I never plan meals and just grabbed food and ate all the wrong stuff or binge eat and never test my sugar levels and the biggest regret was when I had problems with feet thinking I could self treat them and they rapidly got worse to the point 2 days after Christmas 22 I was in a&e on iv antibiotics trying to treat bone infection then the 7th Jan 23 having 4th and 5th rays removed.
My sugars all over the place and looking back I was in daze not caring bout things and how my kids saw me not being able to go to the part and play because I was on recovery which many months but my lowest point I couldn't handle it anymore and injected 5 pens full of insulin thinking I wouldn't wake up and everyone would be better off without me because I was a burden to them.
I wish I was strong enough just to have asked for help and support as I know things would have been different I'm still suffering the effects of neglect today currently in a cast awaiting tests for chacot foot and right eye problems with first round of laser treatment had.
at my worse levels they were hitting the highs of mid 20 on glucose tester and since reading stuff online from various sources I have got them right down between 6-10 being my worse and I feel like I have so much energy its just that I can't use it because I'm on crutches and none weight bearing could be many months.
Thanks for your reply @dalebyrne88 . I appreciate your honesty. It’s helpful to know the kind of things my partner might experience or being experiencing so that I can try and support him.
I know that you say you wish you had had more strength but from an outsider’s perspective it seem to me that you have shown a huge amount of strength to fight your way out of that low place and get yourself into a healthier position. I wish you all the best for your continued recovery.
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