New parent to probably type 1 son in his 20’s

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Rachellouc

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Hello, my son was suddenly diagnosed with Diabetes around a month ago, we are waiting for confirmation of Type 1 or 2 - the hospital thinks it’s type 1. We were all in shock and I think we still are as there is no diabetes in our families. After an initial meltdown, my son seems to be handling all the tests and injections well - he works full time but lives at home. However, I am struggling to keep it together, stop crying and stop checking on him! I suppose I am grief stricken. Because of his age, all the diabetic professionals have spoken just to him, apart from when we went into A and E when our Dr became concerned about his initial tests. We had about an hour together in a side room in hospital with a diabetic nurse giving us tons of info and injection practices without us really understanding what was happening. So I’m lost and just want to do what’s best to help him without overstepping the mark.
 
Welcome to the forum @Rachellouc

It can be such an overwhelming time. I was diagnosed in my early 20s too, and I know it hit my mum really hard.

But be encouraged - there’s never been a ‘better’ time to get a diagnosis with T1D, and modern treatment options, monitors, gadgets, and apps can make the day to day juggling of blood glucose levels more effective than ever, with great long-term prospects if blood glucose levels can be managed relatively well.

It can be a very annoying condition to live with, but it shouldn’t stop him from doing anything he wants to do (professional sports star, rock musician, business entrepreneur, pilot, endurance athlete, traveller, artist, explorer, even astronaut!). Some things will just need a little more prep and some lateral thinking!

A couple of books that have a lot of love on the forum from T1s are

Type 1 Diabetes in Children Adolescents and Young People by Ragnar Hanas. Don't be misled by the title - this book is relevant to people of all ages!

Think Like a Pancreas by Gary Scheiner - A practical guide to managing diabetes with insulin

Either of those may help ‘fill in the blanks’ in the early years as you adjust as a family.
 
everydayupsanddowns said:
Welcome to the forum @Rachellouc

It can be such an overwhelming time. I was diagnosed in my early 20s too, and I know it hit my mum really hard.

But be encouraged - there’s never been a ‘better’ time to get a diagnosis with T1D, and modern treatment options, monitors, gadgets, and apps can make the day to day juggling of blood glucose levels more effective than ever, with great long-term prospects if blood glucose levels can be managed relatively well.

It can be a very annoying condition to live with, but it shouldn’t stop him from doing anything he wants to do (professional sports star, rock musician, business entrepreneur, pilot, endurance athlete, traveller, artist, explorer, even astronaut!). Some things will just need a little more prep and some lateral thinking!

A couple of books that have a lot of love on the forum from T1s are

Type 1 Diabetes in Children Adolescents and Young People by Ragnar Hanas. Don't be misled by the title - this book is relevant to people of all ages!

Think Like a Pancreas by Gary Scheiner - A practical guide to managing diabetes with insulin

Either of those may help ‘fill in the blanks’ in the early years as you adjust as a family.
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Thanks for your reply, I will take a look at the books. I suppose I am finding it hard to stop intervening when I know he’s intelligent enough to work out what works for him! It’s going to take time I know and I want to fix it. It’s good to know these forums will help me.
 
Rachellouc said:
It’s good to know these forums will help me.
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They can be a great source of emotional support, encouragement, practical hints and tips, and just a good place to offload and vent about how annoying and frustrating diabetes can be to live with. People here instinctively ‘get it’ 🙂
 
Rachellouc said:
Thanks for your reply, I will take a look at the books. I suppose I am finding it hard to stop intervening when I know he’s intelligent enough to work out what works for him! It’s going to take time I know and I want to fix it. It’s good to know these forums will help me.
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But that is what Mums do, no matter how old they are. It is just instinct to want to make sure they are safe.
@everydayupsanddowns I think there was something on the forum about etiquette when dealing with family members you have previously posted.
 
Leadinglights said:
@everydayupsanddowns I think there was something on the forum about etiquette when dealing with family members you have previously posted.
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I think that’s this little ‘etiquette card’ for having more positive conversations around diabetes management, and offering support to a loved one.

http://behavioraldiabetes.org/xwp/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/BDIAdultEtiquetteCard.pdf

Lots of useful stuff in the ‘Useful links’ thread sticky in the Newbies section 🙂
 
@Rachellouc I echo the comments from @everydayupsanddowns "there's never been a better time ..."
Yes, it is shocking at the start but I think I asked myself what I was afraid of and realised I was in control.
It reminded me of a rock climber I heard on the radio. The presenter was saying she couldn't do it because it was so dangerous. In response, the climber explained how much he had control of - he chose who he climbed with, he chose where he climbed, he checked his equipment, he knew how to use his equipment, he checked the weather before he went out, ... he was in control to minimise the risk of a dangerous fall.
The same is true for Type 1 diabetes, we have the tools (insulin, meters, glucose tablets, ...) and we can chose what we want to do with these and the rest of our lives to minimise the risk of diabetes complications.
I am not one of everydayupsanddown's sports stars, rock musicians, ... but I have certainly not let diabetes hold me back. And 20 years later, I have no complications.

My advice would be to talk to your son about your concerns and listen to him.
 
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No D in our family either - didn't stop me getting T1 when I was 22, married for 15 months, living in our own house 20 miles away from both our parents and very independent thank you.

However I needed my mummy right then! but that was the only time - I just got on with it to the best of my ability and that's what I'm still doing right now. As by now I'm 73, on my second marriage and currently have 4 great grandchildren, the eldest of whom is 12, nothing has dropped off or completely failed as yet I can only suppose I must have done a few things right along the way I suppose.

I'm no Einstein, I got 5 GCE O Levels in 1966 and though I can say that I was an international corporate insurance broker. specialising in Liability cover, that's only English Law, which isn't rocket science - so though I've been grateful to my Biology teacher more times than my Latin one in my life - I'd say the main thing anyone needs is an enquiring mind to keep asking whatever it is they can't understand - ie, ask, Ask, ASK!! - and never stop asking. I haven't.
 
Hiya, just wanted to reach out to you, very similar story, my son - 24 diagnosed with type 1 just before Christmas and it hit me so hard, when diagnosed he was in DKA which was frightening. His whole world crumbled over the next 2-3 months and I don’t think I’ve emotionally recovered. Would really like to chat some time if it would help x
 
Hi! It must be difficult as a parent to accept the situation and not overstepping, as you said. You did right coming to the forum as you can find lots of information and support. It could be a good idea if your son checks the forum himself, for the same reasons, tho he might feel a bit shy if he knows his mum is already here. You don't need to know each other's nickname tho!

I was diagnosed at 25, living in England, while my whole family is in Spain. There is diabetes antecedents in my family but it still came as a shock to me, especially being type 1 as I believed that this one was always diagnosed in children. Being away from my family at that time was hard, and I know my parents were worried, but at the same time I'm grateful I didn't have them asking about my BG 24/7. I appreciate they'd do it with the best intentions but I am the one who has to manage my condition daily. Same as your son.

On a positive note, it gets easier over time. I know it can be scary and a lot to process at the beginning, but you learn to live with it, I'm one year and a half into it and it's basically "routine". And rest assured that, with a reasonable management, diabetes won't stop your son from doing anything he wants to do. I work, party, drink (in moderation!) and I'm going on holiday abroad next month, no different to other people of my age. Well, I always considered myself a bit weird but that's not diabetes fault! 😉
 
marina winter said:
Hiya, just wanted to reach out to you, very similar story, my son - 24 diagnosed with type 1 just before Christmas and it hit me so hard, when diagnosed he was in DKA which was frightening. His whole world crumbled over the next 2-3 months and I don’t think I’ve emotionally recovered. Would really like to chat some time if it would help x
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Thanks for your message - just visited this forum as I’ve been trying to let my son get on with things without my interfering ! A chat would be great.
 
Hi and thanks for the reply,
A chat would probably help me as well as you. Not sure how you’d be able to message me privately with a contact number? I’d really like to call
 
marina winter said:
Hi and thanks for the reply,
A chat would probably help me as well as you. Not sure how you’d be able to message me privately with a contact number? I’d really like to call
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Have you got an email address I could send my number to?
 
@Rachellouc and @marina winter, one of you could send a private message to the other with email addresses or phone nos. Just click the blue envelope at top right and select 'Start a new pivate message'.
 
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