My motivation has disappeared and i want it back...

Status
Not open for further replies.
Emzi

Emzi

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
... i dont know what to tell you, im not really sure where its gone :confused:
I was doing so well by doing my bloods and injections everyday and writing them down and i got my hba1c from 11 to 8.3 and i finally got my appointment to the new hospital next week so hoping i can take a step closer to dafne course but for some reason my motivation has completely gone!!!

Im eating rubbish again and not healthy foods, im forgetting to take bloods and insulin so i end up having a high thats off the blood computer chart coz it just reads hi on the screen then i inject hugh amounts of insulin and end up hypo. i feel pants and prob have ketones and its so frustrating because i dont want to be like this i was so proud of my hardwork but i have just seem to have lost that motivation and ive tried to kick my own behind into gear and it lasts about a day and then im back to the old me and i really dont know how to get it back :(

I know nobody can do anything but me but i just felt like i could admit it here coz everyone still thinks im doing great at home and i dont want to admit defeat and let everyone down :(
 
Mines disappeared too. After going low so much the fast few days Im now starting to gets highs. woke up to 13.1 this morning after being at 4 and peaking at 6 most of the week. Last time I woke up at 13.1 was months ago when I wasnt doing my insulin correctly. I am so angry at my body for confuzzling me like this. Had a hypo yesterday too :( Not fun!! My last hba1c was 11.8 & dnt get my next one till may. it had best come down if it knows whats good for it or there will be hell to pay.

Today I feel like not bothering with any of it as its going to do what it wants anyway even if I do do what I am supposed to.
 
Last edited:
Oh guys, we all have days like this believe me!

But from what ive been reading you are both doing so well. You have to try an remember that although it is hard looking after everything 24/7, at the end of the day its your health at stake. And no one else can sort that for you, not family, friends or doctors, they can only advise. Think of it as a blip and start again.

After all, just remember when we eat well, contol our bg we feel well and are able to things we cant when we are feeling yuk! Not to mention the long term effects.

Not meaning to sound like a lecture at all, these are the things i have to constantly say to myself, believe me i know only too well how you are both feeling right now, :(

Hope you both have a better day today! 🙂
 
Last edited:
tracey w said:
Oh guys, we all have days like this
Click to expand...

DAYS??? Try 4 months!! I was doing brilliantly before Christmas, lost a couple of stone (much needed, lots to go still) got my hbA1c right down from v. high to v. reasonable indeed.

Since Christmas however, it's all gone pear shaped - literally. I can't get a hold on sensible eating again, I've put all the weight back on and I just can't shift the 'so what' attitude howEVER much I want to. Every Monday is 'start again' Monday, but it just doesn't last. :(

Don't post very much any more cos I feel I don't belong here, knowing that everyone here is striving to take the best care of their condition that they can, and I'm just abusing mine.

If you find a magic cure, please pass it on !!

Good luck hun.

xx
 
HelenP said:
D

Don't post very much any more cos I feel I don't belong here, knowing that everyone here is striving to take the best care of their condition that they can, and I'm just abusing mine.


Dont ever say that hun your very welcome here and are a great friend on the boards and to me personally, I can safely say that many of us including me slip back into bad ways it dont mean its going to last forever hun, you can talk to me whenever you need to you know that my door is always open. xx
Click to expand...
 
i second what steff has said. You definately deserve to be here just as much as the next person 🙂 x
 
You all deserve to be here - that's why we exist! Believe it or not, even a normally wonderful diabetic like myself gets down in the dumps about the whole daily grind of it. OK, you have been through a rough patch, but don't look back - look forward! 🙂 Lou and Emzi, you've both got appointments coming up, so keep recording things so that you have as much info as possible to give them. It's only a few minutes out of each day so please try and get back into the habit. You wouldn't miss out doing other trivial but important things every day - like getting dressed or going to the loo! - so make a little time for the numbers and the injections. It's only by keeping records that you can look back and spot possible trends, so however good or rubbish they are, write them down!

You've made lots of progress - you know a lot more about managing your diabetes, even if it's not always successful (BAD diabetes fairy!), and you're also aware when you're not doing things right. Don't let it overwhelm you - identify one thing each day where you've let things slip and resolve to change it. Within a week you'll be back on track. Come here and tell us about it! I'll even put on my cheerleader outfit just for you!😱:D
 
We've also just had a really crap 24 hours or so - Ross went to stay with his dad, had a bg of 18 before eating, then ate pasta late (!!). All of this was relayed to me via text messages. Eventually we all calmed down, put his levermir up by one in the hope that it would pick up the high over night as the novorapid certainly wouldn't with pasta. *sigh*

So this morning he texted me again to let me know that it dropped to 8 overnight and was still 8 when he got up this morning.

I did almost get in the car at midnight to collect him.


So...let's all draw a line under past cock ups, bad eating and general crapness that surrounds diabetes.

In the words of one of my heroines (Scarlett O'Hara), "Tomorrow is another day"

I know she also said "I'll never go hungry again" which I also attempt to adhere to, but on this occasion let's remember that tomorrow is another day and we can all start again.

H
x
 
smile4loubie said:
i second what steff has said. You definately deserve to be here just as much as the next person 🙂 x
Click to expand...

ditto 🙂 this site is for everyone no matter how they feel or how they are coping, as the title suggests is support for diabetes not judgement on diabetics!
 
I have had a munchy last few hours today. But today I have been naughty and tomorrow I will strive to do better.
You can only but try 🙄
 
HelenP said:
DAYS??? Try 4 months!! I was doing brilliantly before Christmas, lost a couple of stone (much needed, lots to go still) got my hbA1c right down from v. high to v. reasonable indeed.

Since Christmas however, it's all gone pear shaped - literally. I can't get a hold on sensible eating again, I've put all the weight back on and I just can't shift the 'so what' attitude howEVER much I want to. Every Monday is 'start again' Monday, but it just doesn't last. :(

Don't post very much any more cos I feel I don't belong here, knowing that everyone here is striving to take the best care of their condition that they can, and I'm just abusing mine.

If you find a magic cure, please pass it on !!

Good luck hun.

xx
Click to expand...

Helen,
You *absolutely* do belong on here. This site is aimed at you - you are this site!🙂
Obviously, just being a parent of a diabetic I dont have much in the way of *insight* into how you must feel and I wouldnt even try. But I do know that the very fact that you are a member of a place like this means that you *do* care about yourself and you actively want to change things - so that has to be a positive. It also helps us parents to understand how things can change and how awful this condition makes people feel - so - selfishly I want to read everything you say - so I can be there for Alex if he ever goes through similar feelings.🙂Bev
 
Thank you for posting this, its made me feel so much better. I now realise that I can have a bad day or two (well ten really), lose my motivation, but still belong.
Like you I have felt guilty about my lack of self care and didn't want to let folk down by admitting that I have not been as good as I should be.
I am only hurting myself I know, but I want to be back on track again, badly if truth be told.
I can't seem to control my inner demons and fall back into the bad old habit of comfort eating. All the replies you have received have made me realise I will have to stop browsing and get back to taking part on the forum again because you all give such great support.
I was doing so well too, I had managed to get down to 14st 7lb and now have crept back up to 15st 1lb, oh well, back to the grind! 😱
 
Last edited:
Thanks for starting this thread Emzi, and thanks to everyone for the kind words aimed at us whose bad days get a bit out of control.

That's why I joined............

Cheers.

xx
 
you are all welcome here WE are all welcome here ! and helen you and ally are my joining buddys and i need you here posting cos you make me laugh !! which i really need these days x i see it all like barter...i gets loads of info from this forum so in exchange try and offer advice re things i know about mainly not diabetes related !
 
wow thanks guys!!

Like Helen and Jimbo said i sometimes forget how much support and kind words...words that encourage... that i get from you guys here and i need to get back on track and this means coming on here more as i let that slip too

Heidi said:
In the words of one of my heroines (Scarlett O'Hara), "Tomorrow is another day"
Click to expand...

What a good quote!!! 🙂
 
I've had a bad few days, i had a steroid injection in my arm which raised my BS levels (the GP said that this would happen) then my partner and i travelled down south this weekend to meet up with his dad to celebrate his birthday and we had a lovely meal (i decided not to test yesterday!) but am now back on track and making sure i am in control again. I think that the 'going off the wagon' happens to all of us whether diabetic or not, as long as we 'pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and start all over again' 🙂
 
Odd as it seems, this thread has kinda motivated me to get back on track again. Can't say if it will last or not (I could have an educated guess though!) but, not having done a STROKE of exercise since Christmas Eve, I went out and bought myself a Wii yesterday, which included the 'game' "Just Dance" where you can do lots of different dance routines to current or recent hits. I haven't tried that one out yet (that's DEFINITELY one for when everyone's out at work!! See my avatar for a sneak preview 😛 ) but look forward to trying it out tomorrow. :D

This morning, I've had 3 hours of Wii tennis with my son, and I didn't think about raiding the cupboards once - in fact I got through a litre of water! 🙂

So, maybe a change is on the horizon. Now, I just need to lose about 6 stone before I meet everyone next weekend............................ 😱

xx
 
Well done Helen!

One of the first things I did when Ross was diagnosed was to go out and buy a Wii - I remembered that the DSN had said something about highs being combated by exercise. I also thought it would be good fun when the weather isn't good and we can't get out on our bikes.

Ross played on one of the mat things that plug into the Wii and had his very first hypo - bs 1.8!
So it worked on getting the numbers down......🙄

We do all love it though, but now we know to make him eat a cereal bar first!

H
x
 
Just come to this post and read it from the top.....

And what wonderful reading! It starts off with sad, demotivated and hacked off people and gradually eases through to inspired people, eager to start again :D 🙂 :D

*aw!*

Well done all those people who made that happen!

It know it feels awful that you can't change recent history, especially when you're having the hypo or hyper that's a result of judging it badly a few hours ago... and especially when this has been gonig on for days, weeks, months (get it wrong once, and I seem to get it wrong again and again for a while)......

But it's great to be inspired to drag your heart back up from under the ground and start focussing on changing the future again. Becasue you CAN change the future......

*goes away, resolved to carb-count carefully*
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top