My husband Jack

[Monica A]

Hello everyone, thank you for the chance to be in this forum. My name is Monica, I'm from Buenos Aires, Argentina. I know that this is a forum for the British people. But the reason why I'm writing here is because my husband, Jack, was English. He was a diabetic type 1 since he was 9 y.o. Sadly, he passed away in June last year when he was only 54.
We got married in Buenos Aires and we had to get a spouse Visa, which took a long time and a lot of bureaucracy (we had to be apart during the pandemic) so we were not living together yet. I was In my country arranging my travel to England to live permanently there with Jack when I received that fateful phone call from one of his friends, who found him deceased at his home.
And this is why I want your help: I can't understand what happened to him.
The autopsy says that he died due to hyperglycemia and ketoacidosis. But in our 6 years of relationship, I don't remember Jack forgetting his insulin dose. Maybe just one time or two but he immediately would recognize the symptoms of high sugar and realize he forgot his jab and would take his dose quickly. Strangely, he often suffered from the opposite: he used to have LOTS of episodes of HYPOglycemia (which used to worry me very much) because he was never hungry, he was a man who struggled to eat tbh. Many times he could survive eating only digestive biscuits...
I travelled to England (Northampton, where he lived) a few days after his death, and I spent a month there. I tried to speak with his GP but I couldn't. The receptionist of that medical centre asked me for a formal letter asking for an appointment, our marriage certificate, my passport, and his death certificate. I brought all the documents they required, but they never called me and I had to come back to Argentina. I tried to get Jack's medical records but again, being here in my country is impossible. They just don't send anything by email.
I will go back to England this year eventually, but this is a nightmare for me, I can't sleep at night thinking about what could happen to my Jack...
To add more tragedy, his phone was not working for two days before his death so if he was feeling bad he couldn't even call me or call someone for help. He had a red button at home but didn't press it to call the paramedics either.
Didn't he realise he was having a hyperglycemia? Is it possible?
His kitchen was a mess when I arrived. It looked as if he was desperately trying to eat. I found many tubes of glucogel all over the floor. Is it possible that he could confuse the symptoms with a hypo and get it worse?
Maybe his insulin was not in bad condition??
I apologise for this long message and if I am disturbing you with this topic. I hope you can help me to deduce some answers. Thank you very much in advance.

 

[Inka]

Welcome @Monica A I’m so very, very sorry to hear about your husband. It must be torture for you to not know exactly what happened.

Could he maybe have been ill? Stomach viruses can cause hypos but also very high sugars. Things can change quite fast. Was there an inquest? That might give possible answers.

Sending you much love and my deepest sympathy xx

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

Welcome to the forum @Monica A

So so sorry for your loss, and sincere condolences. My wife died from a short but rather savage encounter with pancreatic cancer 5 years ago, so I know a little of the emotional turmoil you are living with.

Severe hypoglycaemia and DKA like that would usually be associated with some pretty unpleasant symptoms as far as I know. I'm not sure how much they vary from person to person, and whether they could be mistaken for other things like stomach upset, or gastric flu?

Perhaps it would be helpful for you to talk things through with our knowledgeable and helpful helpline staff, who may be able to point you in the direction of ways to answer some of your questions?

You can call them weekdays 9-6 on 0345 123 2399 or you can email helpline@diabetes.org.uk

With very best wishes
Mike

 

[MikeyBikey]

Hello Monica! I am very sorry to hear of your loss and sorry to hear Covid kept you apart for so long. Did he have a Libre or another =CGM (Continuous Glucose Monitoring) device , or a log book? Were there any secondary causes of death? The primary cause for my mother was incorrect as was that of two friends. One friend was in hospital after collapsing. He was just made comfortable over the weekend and diagnosed with sepsis a couple of hours before he died . The other died after suffering recurring bouts of MRSA. Yet for both the death certificate was a heart attack. To me and their wives the heart attacks were the secondary cause. Good luck with getting answers!

 

[Monica A]

Welcome @Monica A I’m so very, very sorry to hear about your husband. It must be torture for you to not know exactly what happened.

Could he maybe have been ill? Stomach viruses can cause hypos but also very high sugars. Things can change quite fast. Was there an inquest? That might give possible answers.

Sending you much love and my deepest sympathy xx

Hi Inka, thank you very much for your answer. Yes, it is torture and it is causing me deep sadness...Especially because being so far away, it's not much that I can do...
There was an inquest, yes, but the police didn't find anything suspicious. I found (sorry to say this, it can be upsetting) vomit on the floor. But I don't know if he was feeling bad from a stomach virus, or if it was caused by the ketoacidosis itself...
The coroners only found ibuprofen in his urine. He was not taking other medicines at that moment. The last time I spoke with him, he was feeling ok, he didn't mention any physical discomfort...

 

[Monica A]

Welcome to the forum @Monica A

So so sorry for your loss, and sincere condolences. My wife died from a short but rather savage encounter with pancreatic cancer 5 years ago, so I know a little of the emotional turmoil you are living with.

Severe hypoglycaemia and DKA like that would usually be associated with some pretty unpleasant symptoms as far as I know. I'm not sure how much they vary from person to person, and whether they could be mistaken for other things like stomach upset, or gastric flu?

Perhaps it would be helpful for you to talk things through with our knowledgeable and helpful helpline staff, who may be able to point you in the direction of ways to answer some of your questions?

You can call them weekdays 9-6 on 0345 123 2399 or you can email helpline@diabetes.org.uk

With very best wishes
Mike

Hi Mike, I'm so sorry for your loss too, you must miss your wife terribly...my condolences... :'(
Jack had bladder cancer in 2016...After a long surgery (more than 9 hours) the NHS doctors saved his life. But he lost his bladder and prostate...I met him only one year after his cancer, and I was proud of his bravery. He was a warrior, that was one of the things that I most loved about him. Sadly, he could survive an aggressive cancer but diabetes killed him...so unfair...
My first thought was that he probably was feeling very bad but, as he used to have urinary infections very often (one of the consequences of having a neo-bladder made with bowel's skin) he confused the symptoms. But the coroners didn't find antibiotics in his urine, so I don't know. Maybe he thought it was just the gastric flu like you said. It's difficult to know.
I will write an email to the helpline staff. I would prefer to speak with them but I can't make long-distance phone calls.
Thank you very much!!

 

[Inka]

Hi Inka, thank you very much for your answer. Yes, it is torture and it is causing me deep sadness...Especially because being so far away, it's not much that I can do...
There was an inquest, yes, but the police didn't find anything suspicious. I found (sorry to say this, it can be upsetting) vomit on the floor. But I don't know if he was feeling bad from a stomach virus, or if it was caused by the ketoacidosis itself...
The coroners only found ibuprofen in his urine. He was not taking other medicines at that moment. The last time I spoke with him, he was feeling ok, he didn't mention any physical discomfort...

It’s so sad @Monica A especially after his victory against cancer, as you say. It might be that you never find out for sure what happened. There might be a number of possibilities. What strikes me is that you mentioned he was surrounded by many tubes of Glucogel. That does sound like he had a hypo or felt like he was having a severe hypo - that is, about to lose consciousness. In those circumstances, a person could feel they didn’t have time to test their blood sugar and so would just eat glucose as quickly as possible. I once had vertigo and the symptoms were like a very bad hypo. My blood sugar swung madly from high to low. So perhaps there was an event like that? Or perhaps he had a bad hypo and was disorientated and forgot his insulin?

Those are just suggestions. There will be other possibilities, of course. I hope you get support from your email to Diabetes U.K. I completely understand why you’re fighting to understand this awful thing.

 

[Monica A]

Hello Monica! I am very sorry to hear of your loss and sorry to hear Covid kept you apart for so long. Did he have a Libre or another =CGM (Continuous Glucose Monitoring) device , or a log book? Were there any secondary causes of death? The primary cause for my mother was incorrect as was that of two friends. One friend was in hospital after collapsing. He was just made comfortable over the weekend and diagnosed with sepsis a couple of hours before he died . The other died after suffering recurring bouts of MRSA. Yet for both the death certificate was a heart attack. To me and their wives the heart attacks were the secondary cause. Good luck with getting answers!

Hi Mikey, thank you for your answer.
No, sadly Jack didn't have anything of that. I was insisting the last twelve months before he passed that he should ask for a CGM when I saw he had hypos so often. I was worried. In 2022 he smashed his car driving due to a hypo. Thank God no one was hurt, he left the car walking, but I noticed he was not paying enough attention to his sugar levels... I know that device could have saved his life
As secondary causes of death, the coroners stated "Fatty liver and ischaemic heart disease" but he didn't suffer an acute heart attack or a stroke at the moment of his death...

 

[Leadinglights]

Hi Mikey, thank you for your answer.
No, sadly Jack didn't have anything of that. I was insisting the last twelve months before he passed that he should ask for a CGM when I saw he had hypos so often. I was worried. In 2022 he smashed his car driving due to a hypo. Thank God no one was hurt, he left the car walking, but I noticed he was not paying enough attention to his sugar levels... I know that device could have saved his life
As secondary causes of death, the coroners stated "Fatty liver and ischaemic heart disease" but he didn't suffer an acute heart attack or a stroke at the moment of his death...

So sorry to hear of your situation, never easy but being on the other side of the world so much harder.
It sounds like there were multiple conditions which could all have had an impact and the interaction proved too much for his body to tolerate.
My father was Type 2 diabetic but passed away from a heart attack but they said it was the combination of the two conditions which were fatal. Mind you this was in 1963.
It maybe you have to put it to rest as you may never get to the bottom of what happened. Not easy I know.

 

[Monica A]

It’s so sad @Monica A especially after his victory against cancer, as you say. It might be that you never find out for sure what happened. There might be a number of possibilities. What strikes me is that you mentioned he was surrounded by many tubes of Glucogel. That does sound like he had a hypo or felt like he was having a severe hypo - that is, about to lose consciousness. In those circumstances, a person could feel they didn’t have time to test their blood sugar and so would just eat glucose as quickly as possible. I once had vertigo and the symptoms were like a very bad hypo. My blood sugar swung madly from high to low. So perhaps there was an event like that? Or perhaps he had a bad hypo and was disorientated and forgot his insulin?

Those are just suggestions. There will be other possibilities, of course. I hope you get support from your email to Diabetes U.K. I completely understand why you’re fighting to understand this awful thing.

Wow, Inka. I'm learning more things about Diabetes now, with your answers. For example, I didn't know that sugar levels could swing from high to low so quickly as it happened to you during your vertigo episode...
Maybe that happened to Jack...He had a hypo for sure, but I can't know when...I honestly thought that it was impossible to have a hypo and a hyper/ketoacidosis in 24 hours...but now I see that is perfectly possible...

 

[Monica A]

So sorry to hear of your situation, never easy but being on the other side of the world so much harder.
It sounds like there were multiple conditions which could all have had an impact and the interaction proved too much for his body to tolerate.
My father was Type 2 diabetic but passed away from a heart attack but they said it was the combination of the two conditions which were fatal. Mind you this was in 1963.
It maybe you have to put it to rest as you may never get to the bottom of what happened. Not easy I know.

Hi, yes it's much more difficult being in Argentina. I would have loved to stay in England, in his home, sharing time with his family and friends, I would have missed Jack a bit less (If that is possible), but despite being his widow, I'm not allowed to live there after Jack passed...immigration rules.
You are right, Jack suffered multiple health conditions, and even the cancer he had in 2016 left him weak, despite he survived...Maybe it was too much for his body. You should have seen him, he looked so strong. You would never say his body was fighting so much :'(
And I know, I will need to let it go eventually. But I was always a person who seeks the truth, and in this case, the person who I loved (and will always love) is involved. I'm getting a lot of information speaking with all of you, as I was not able to talk with his GP. Thank you very much.