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Mum to 3yr old just diagnosed

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This thread is now closed. Please contact Anna DUK, Ieva DUK or everydayupsanddowns if you would like it re-opened.
M

Mum

New Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Parent of person with diabetes
Hi
I'm so pleased to have stumbled across this message board. I took my 3 year old to the doctors 3 weeks ago because she was excessively thirsty and wham...straight to hospital, transferred to another in an ambulance with blue lights flashing...in shock...dieticians and nurses throwing information at us. I felt like I was an Arts student who had just stumbled into a medics lecture and was expected to sit exams in this field. Do you know what I mean? Is it this fast and shocking for everyone? I've never cried and sobbed so much. I still am. We are at home and this is horrific. We've been told over & over again that our lives will return to normal but at the moment I can see no light at the end of the tunnel. How long is this nightmare to last? Do things ever become normal? My daughter is either crying cos she's sky high or giving that horrible cry that I now recognise cos she's having a hypo or is dodging around the normal mark and is crying with these tantrums that she never used to have. My friends have been sympathetic but I can tell that some just don't understand the hell we are going through - they keep barking on about diabetes and normality and all these people that they apparently know who they never knew had diabetes cos they act so normal.
Sorry, I'm really going on here. It's just that I'm an absolute wreck. I used to love being a mum (I also have a 9 month old and a 5 yr old) but for the first time ever I have been wishing that I'd never had children. That's a dreadful thing to say and I don't really mean it but I just can't cope with this.
Will things ever really be normal again? Is there any light out there? & if her levels ever do return to normal how long does this take?
Vikki
x
 
Hi Vikki, trust me it will get easier! i promise!

I wasnt as young as your daughter (i was 8 when diagnosed) and my parents felt the same as you. you need to stay close to your specialists, they will help get your daughters levels to a good level but it does take time. Type 1 diabetes is very trial and error in the initial stages (and to some degree still so, years on). But things will improve. I cant stress enough that your specialists really are the people to help with your daughters blood glucose levels, insulin doses etc. But we are always here to lean on too!
 
Hi Vikki, very glad you found us - there are people here who know exactly how you feel and I'm sure will support you all the way. It must be so difficult to learn that your child has this, at any age, but especially so when they are too young to articulate how they are feeling.

Rest assured that things will get better. It's still very early days for you and there is an absolute deluge of information to try and absorb. Never be afraid to ask any questions, either of your medical team or the fine people here - the important thing is that you know and understand what is going on and how to deal with it - knowledge is the key to dispelling the fear and taking control. Some of that knowledge will come only with experience, as you and your daughter learn the patterns and triggers for those highs and lows. Try not to feel too overwhelmed. There have been great advances in treatment and care in recent years. I think part of the fear with this condition stems from old, outdated perceptions - I'm sure things will click into place.
 
do not worry it will get easyer and you will meet other mum with the same problem [probably not many ]all the best for you and your son
 
Hi Mum

I bet all your children, the one with diabetes and the others without, are very pleased that you are their Mum.

Yes, it's tough, but you will work it out together - and gradually she'll take over more of her care, but will always need a Mum, like any child, regardless of diabetes. It is worth keeping the aim of normality in your mind - ie your daughter reaching her potential and ambitions, although she may not know what those are yet. She doesn't have to sky dive / SCUBA dive / climb mountains / kayak on white water / travel to Antarctica / play musical instruments / create visual art / act in the theatre / write poetry etc, (just some of the things people on this board do with diabetes) but if she wants to do so, then go for it!

Anyway, plenty of parents here to help you. I'm not, but am aunt to several children, none with diabetes, though.
 
To Mum

Hi Mum

Sorry you and your family are going through this. My daughter had her first insulin injection at the age of 5 weeks old, she is now nearly 9 and on an insulin pump. I know over 200 families with children with diabetes. It is extremely hard but it is ok to cry and let it all out. Your 3 year old won't really know what's going on plus may be feeling really rotten when high, hypo and when have big swings to.

My one huge recommendation to you is to take a look at this website
www.childrenwithdiabetesuk.org

It is written by parents (my friends) for parents. It gives the greatest lot of information that I have seen on the internet for parents and families. On the front page is the info on joining an email list. If you join that group and post the email you have posted on here, you will be inundated with replies from parents that have gone through what you have and you will suddenly be surrounded by people that know. They know how you feel, they know the shock, they also know a huge amount about children with diabetes. Someone will always be able to answer any question.

Your friends, however lovely they are, don't know or understand how you are feeling and what is happening behind closed doors. You will always come across people who know people with diabetes, generally they will be older people with type 2 maybe on tablets (no disrespect to any type 2 people out there intended here) which is different to your own child becoming type 1.

It will get easier because you will learn day by day a bit more about diabetes. Your child will also learn. Unfortunately there are plenty of parents on that email list I mentioned with children as young as yours with type 1 and we all help each other and support each other. It has been a life saver for me and you will hear others say the same.

Maybe I'll see you on the email list. You don't have to post straight away, you could join and just read emails.

Take care
Adrienne
 
My daughter was also 3 years old when diagnosed and I can totally relate to everything you have said. My son was 10 weeks old at the time of her diagnosis and I remember sitting in the hospital, in tears, being bombarded with all this information and feeling completely bewildered and wondering if I was ever going to get home.

We had the tears, the tantrums, her throwing her food across the table and refusing to eat when she had been injected with her insulin and the battles just to get her to have her injections. Nobody understands the living nightmare that it is unless they have had a young diabetic child.

My daughter is now 5 years old and things have improved with time. She is more understanding of the situation. Her blood sugar levels are still all over the place but she is apparently still in the "Honeymoon Period" (when her own pancreas is still producing some insulin). Her Diabetic Nurse has said it is very difficult to control blood sugar levels in young children (my daughter is on twice daily injections). Everything is so difficult to predict when trying to determin her insulin dose as absolutely everything has an impact, such as the level of activity she is likely to do in the day, even the weather plays a part as if it's raining she doesn't go out to play etc etc.

Anyway, looking back now I felt exactly the same as you do but I promise it does get easier eventually so hang on in there.

I attended a Diabetes UK Family Event a couple of months ago, which I must say was excellent and I would definitely recommend, and the speaker said it takes approximately 15 months to come to terms with having a child diagnosed with diabetes and I must say I agree.

Take care.
 
Thanks so much to you all for your lovely replies. I realise I'm not alone in this. Our days are very up and down at the moment. Some days I am feeling strong and some days I feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown! My little girl managed to stay within the normal range for a whole 12 hours - which is our little break through. Her moods, when not running too high or too low are improving. Things are still very difficult but I'm pleased to have your support.
x
 
hi mum,

well i was 20 when diagnosed and a very fit and active member of the army. i had been in for 3 years at this point and hated the fact diabetes had taken away my career. i went into a whole bundle of emotions from anger to depression. i also went through a faze of not even taking my insulin and ended up in hospital due to excessive ketones. in the end though i got myself to understand more about my diabetes and also what it ment to me. i also found that if i told myself on a daily basis that i would rule my life and not my diabetes then it kinda helped to. i can only imagine what you are going through at the moment but i do understand the helplessness you must feel. i have 2 kids of my own but thankfully neither are diabetic and show no signs of becoming so in the near future. i found this site really helpful in the fact there are others out there with the same feelings and problems as me so i dont feel alone. also my partner likes to come on and see whats going on to so she doesnt feel left out. you will need so much support for your little girl at the start, but i will say that over time things do become a lot easier.

take care

mike
 
Sorry I missed this when it first posted, Mum -- but just to say in case you get this that my heart goes out to you. Our son was nearly 13 when he was diagnosed 3months ago, and therefore able to at least understand and take so much on board...but it is still so dreadful, those moments of the diagnosis dawning, and then the never-ending see-sawing numbers.... We still have those, often.

Your biggest support will be people who know. Most who have little contact with diabetes think that it's a question of getting the regime right... but with kids of course, it's the constant intervention, prediction, persuasion, egg-shell-walking -- that, added to the fact that there basically is no regime, and little predictable from day to day.

It's hard. I just wanted to say how I know that. And that it will get better -- but so will your ability to take so much in stride. I hope even now it's feeling a little more understandable.

btw: not sure I will ever not cry at times about my son's diagnosis. It's not what we want for our children. Full stop. Thank goodness for sites and good people like those on this site. But the grief probably never goes away?
 
Hello everyone!I am a parent of a 13 year old boy who was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes on january 13th this year.It was just days before his thirteenth birthday,it is a date that i will remember forever as it is a day our lives changed.I empathise with all the parents on here it is so very hard to cope with in the early days just after diagnosis however it does in time get easier.XX
 
Mum said:
Hi
I'm so pleased to have stumbled across this message board. I took my 3 year old to the doctors 3 weeks ago because she was excessively thirsty and wham...straight to hospital, transferred to another in an ambulance with blue lights flashing...in shock...dieticians and nurses throwing information at us. I felt like I was an Arts student who had just stumbled into a medics lecture and was expected to sit exams in this field. Do you know what I mean? Is it this fast and shocking for everyone? I've never cried and sobbed so much. I still am. We are at home and this is horrific. We've been told over & over again that our lives will return to normal but at the moment I can see no light at the end of the tunnel. How long is this nightmare to last? Do things ever become normal? My daughter is either crying cos she's sky high or giving that horrible cry that I now recognise cos she's having a hypo or is dodging around the normal mark and is crying with these tantrums that she never used to have. My friends have been sympathetic but I can tell that some just don't understand the hell we are going through - they keep barking on about diabetes and normality and all these people that they apparently know who they never knew had diabetes cos they act so normal.
Sorry, I'm really going on here. It's just that I'm an absolute wreck. I used to love being a mum (I also have a 9 month old and a 5 yr old) but for the first time ever I have been wishing that I'd never had children. That's a dreadful thing to say and I don't really mean it but I just can't cope with this.
Will things ever really be normal again? Is there any light out there? & if her levels ever do return to normal how long does this take?
Vikki
x
Click to expand...
Gee it all sounds very familiar - when my daughter was first diagnosed and for months after it around jab times were a nightmare - i had to pin her down as she constantly fought against me - I know that your life feels as if it will never return to normal - I know I was the same - friends can listen but don't fully understand - and you feel as if your independant wee person is now once again totally dependant and you sometimes feel like screaming! It is just all so familiar - what I can say is my daughter was 5 when she was diagnosed she is now 8 and she takes it in her stride - we still have the hurdle of her actually doing her jabs but she is gaining confidence daily - as a family we now take it in our stride and just get on with things - we are so confident (kinda) that we are heading to Florida this year on holiday - something we thought we could not do. We are constantly amazed at our baby girl for her demenour and her attitude in general and I am really blunt with her and tell her how it is with her illness and she accepts it.

Things will calm down - come in here have a chat everyone understands how you feel - we can support each other and learn how to handle this.

Wendy
 
Hi Mum
My boy (age 3) was diagnosed with type 1 last week and I can totally understand how you feel.We have an older daughter (age 7) who is feeling a bit neglected at the mo.
All of our energy seems to go on getting him to check his blood or having his injection ,heis a master at delaying things.
He also screams when we inject him ,not because it hurts ,just because he wants to.
The moods/tantrums are difficult to deal with as he gets quite agressive ,but it's still early days and his levels are all over the place.
It helps a little to know it's his levels etc. not that he's just being difficult.
Let us know how things improve over the early weeks/months.
 
graham was 3 aswell it will get better and i wishyou when he start school that it will be a good school like where my son goes good luck
 
Hi,
my little boy was diagnosed 6mths ago at 18mths old. I relate 100% to everything you say. I have just come on this site today hoping to get in touch with people in the same situation. 6mths on I would say things are much much better but then they couldn't have been much worse. I would say though I still find it hard to believe things will ever be anywhere near normal again - I think as a family we will come to accept a new normal! It def does get easier but we still have some very hard days. What you are feeling is in my experience totally normal.
Take care
 
Hi Vikki

My heart goes out to you because i know exactly how you feel.

If it is any help, I can tell you this. My son (12) was diagnosed nearly two years ago and i went through all the shock, grief etc etc that you are going through now. But it has got better, so much better. Life has returned to 'normal' again, or as much as it ever will.

This is the process i went through. I had a lovely son, then i had a diabetic child, now i have a lovely son who has blonde hair, blue eyes, oh and diabetes!

I promise you that it will get easier, even though i would not have believed it at your stage.

This forum has helped me inmeasurably so stick around and let's support each other! 🙂🙂🙂
 
Hi to all the new parents on here - and sorry you have to be here!

We are all here to help and will try to answer any questions you may have. There are no silly questions - we are a nice friendly bunch - and we all share diabetes in one way or another as part of our lives. So, ask away - and also feel free to offer any advice or tips you have learnt as we all do things in a different way - and it might just help someone else.:D Bev
 
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