Love Your diabetes.......

[queenbee01]

🙂Does this sound familiar to you? Comfort eating. At the slightest sign of stress you reach for something you know you should not eat. Cravings for sweet things, even things you do not necessarily enjoy or normally eat. Feelings of loathsome guilt and annoyance at not being able to control that Demon that sits on your shoulder and comes up with all manner of good reasons why you should eat more than you know you should or that it's ok to have another biscuit. Do you peel off the lables from your monthly prescription boxes because they have your name on them and you kid yourself it's for security purposes but deep down you know It's because you can't admit they are yours!
Do you dread your three monthly visit to the diabetic nurse because you know you are going to get bollocked for your HBA1c's being too high. Does this sound familiar to you?
Well chap's this has been me for the last five years. I don't know why I am like it and I hated the way I had this feeling of being owned by a Demon. I did'nt want diabetes, yet knew I was a prime candidate because my mum has had it for the best part of 40 years, her mum and nan had it, both overweight including me. Over the last three years I have been to hell and back with mum while my sister and I try to care for her since Dad died. My mum is no support or help as she has never bothered since the day she was diagnosed with diabetes to try and control her blood sugars. I feel like I have been playing the leading role in Dickens Story "A Christmas past" where the ghosts have taken me back over the last five years and then beyond in to my mothers life to show me that if I did not get control of my diabetes, I was going to end up like my mother.

Mum, for what ever reason, blames the doctors, her mum and anyone else she comes in to contact with for her diabetes. As a result of years of neglecting her diabetes, she has had Bowel Cancer, has diverticulitus, had to have a very intrusive eye operation this year to save the sight in her right eye because she had a haemorage behind her iris that would not stop. She has early on set dementia and suffers severe bouts of depression and mood swings and she's only 73!!! As her carers we find mum very difficult to care for because she has given up on everything accept eating sweets, cakes, pork pies and all manner of rubbish. We try so hard to keep her house tidy, make sure she gets regular outings with family and family visiting her. she goes to the day centre once a week and has someone from Age Concern who pops in once a week for a chat. She is so lucky yet she can not see this and tells my sister and I that "she never asks us to do her house work, washing, garden etc. In short mum just can't be bothered and apparently this is normal behavior with elderly diabetics, yet mum's been like this all her life!

Three weeks ago, I was feeling quiet belwildered and fed up with Mum, diabetes and not being able to manage my own diabetes. I am petrified of turning in to my mother. I'm 50 this year and really do not want to end up with all the added illnesses and ailments you can jolly well expect if you can't control your diabetes. My sister and I were having a chat about mum and my diabetes, because I have not lost any weight for about a year. (I'm 18 stone for Goodness sake!)
I put my cards on the table and told my sister everything and said I needed help. The first thing she did was buy some sessions with a local nutritionist. I discovered that my diet of vegetables, some fruit and protien was causing my blood sugars to yoyo all day long. I was not eating enough complex carbohydrates and holy ghost! I was'nt eating enough or at regular times.
I am now on a low GI, complex carbohydrate diet. I have drastically reduced my intake of all red meats and eat more oily fish and chicken or turkey, quorn and brown rice.
In two weeks I feel amazingly well. I have more energy, I've stopped craving sweet things and have also started Walk Active (advertised in the telegraph about 3 weeks ago.) This week I have done an amazing 21 miles.

All that was easy but I am now trying to self mend myself physcologically. I am trying to teach myself self control and respect and to love my diabetes.
I've got it and I don't want to die of it or any of the illnesses mum has. As Ive got it, I've finally after five years accepted I've got it and the only way I am going to get through this is to learn to love it.
I need HELP!! If anyone out there has any tips on how they control that Demon that tells them it's ok to eat naughty stuff. I need to learn techniques that I can implement to stop me reaching for the biscuit tin every time I feel stressed or in need of emotional crutch. I need to stop using food as a reward. If anyone has any ideas I would be really grateful as I am determined that I am going to love my diabetes and control it, instead of it controlling me!!

 

[Northerner]

Hi Queenbee, sorry to hear about your mum Some people get a good start with their diabetes and maintain a healthy lifestyle, others resent it or are (it seems) fatalistic about it and just let it do its worst. It sounds like your mum falls into the latter category, unfortunately - maybe all those years ago she wasn't given much hope or education about how to manage things, or got depressed about it and back then there were few places to look for help?

However, it is really good to hear the determination you have that you WILL take hold of your diabetes and have already made a splendid start with your diet changes and exercise regime 🙂 Do you use a meter to measure your reacion to the meals you are having? If not, it's a really good idea to ask your doctor for one, explaining what you have just told us and your need to get on the right track. I'm fortunate in that I've never been a comfort eater - more of a casual snacker before diabetes, so I can't give you on any tips on how to avoid the cravings. When I do find the urge for something sweet I have sugar-free jellies - you can get sachets that will make up 5 small pots for just a few pence and it really works for me.

If you have anything you are not sure about, please ask no matter what the question and we will try to help you out. We can also help to keep you motivated, so when you feel your willpower slipping, just let us know! Or if you feel angry about things you are welcome to let your feelings out. Why not join the Weight Loss Group of the forum for extra encouragement on your diet and exercise?

Keep up the good work - it's never too late to start taking care of yourself, and maybe your mum will see how you are taking control and seek help for herself in managing things better 🙂

 

[macast]

sorry to hear these things about your mum.... don't suppose there is anything you can do that will make a difference to your mum..... but you can take control of your own diabetes.

I'm a comfort eater 😱 when I'm feeling down I'll turn to food...... always have.... and then hate myself for it. suppose it stems from when I was a child..... sweets were only given as a treat for being good.... and the only time I had crisps was at the cinema..... so I associate them with good times and being happy. it is really difficult to get out of that way of thinking. I've no idea how we are going to do it..... but it is a comfort knowing that someone else understands. we could work on that together 🙂

now that I have diabetes I manage to stop (most times) before I eat the whole tube of Pringles..... and since diagnosis haven't eaten a whole bar of Green and Blacks chocolate in one go (I regularly did that before diagnosis).... so I suppose I am improving.

I just keep telling myself that it is poison!!! and also thinking about my lovely neighbour who lost both his legs and eventually his life (in November) due to diabetes.... and remember the lectures he gave me on not leaving controlling diabetes til it was too late.

I recently taught myself to crochet and I sit and do that while watching tv in the evenings..... it helps with the eating coz you can't eat crisps and crochet at the same time LOL

good luck with everything..... and give me a shout if you want to let off steam or need some encouragement x

 

[trophywench]

I just wanted to say I know when I pig out - it's when I'm flipping BORED.

We have to do summat that gets us out of the house, summat we don't NEED to do on a regular basis so we can look forward to it next week once we've done it this week.

It doesn't really matter what; though I admit, mine ought to be some sort of exercise. If someone said to me right now, come for a walk Jen? I'd go. But on me own ? .......... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

LOL

Knitting and crochet are good for keeping hands out of biscuit tins, and crochet is better when reading, watching TV etc simultaneously - on the basis that you can only ever drop ONE stitch !

 

[queenbee01]

Thank you for the WE

Thank you for your support, I felt cheered by the fact that Im not the only comfort eater on the planet, and really appreciate it when you wrote we could work on that together in the second paragraph.
I've got a doctors appointment on Tuesday and will ask him if there is anyone who can help unravel me as I really feel overwhelmed and clueless about how to help myself get over this.

I dont eat through boredom as I dont get time to be bored, its just when I am stressed. (usually over mum) maybe your right, we can all help each other, I crochet too and knit a bit. maybe we could start a crochet club. call it, Crochet your way out of that! we could crochet or knit blankets for homeless people or abandoned donkeys. If your willing I am, I could find out who we can crochet for and where to send them off when they are done. If it helps to keep our fingers out of the cookie jar while giving us a goal and something to work towards, we could post pictures of our blankets on the Gallery. What do you think.

sorry to hear these things about your mum.... don't suppose there is anything you can do that will make a difference to your mum..... but you can take control of your own diabetes.

I'm a comfort eater 😱 when I'm feeling down I'll turn to food...... always have.... and then hate myself for it. suppose it stems from when I was a child..... sweets were only given as a treat for being good.... and the only time I had crisps was at the cinema..... so I associate them with good times and being happy. it is really difficult to get out of that way of thinking. I've no idea how we are going to do it..... but it is a comfort knowing that someone else understands. we could work on that together 🙂

now that I have diabetes I manage to stop (most times) before I eat the whole tube of Pringles..... and since diagnosis haven't eaten a whole bar of Green and Blacks chocolate in one go (I regularly did that before diagnosis).... so I suppose I am improving.

I just keep telling myself that it is poison!!! and also thinking about my lovely neighbour who lost both his legs and eventually his life (in November) due to diabetes.... and remember the lectures he gave me on not leaving controlling diabetes til it was too late.

I recently taught myself to crochet and I sit and do that while watching tv in the evenings..... it helps with the eating coz you can't eat crisps and crochet at the same time LOL

good luck with everything..... and give me a shout if you want to let off steam or need some encouragement x

 

[queenbee01]

Thank you all for your replies

Thanks everyone for your replies, I agree that it's probably too late to do anything for mum. My sister and I just have to learn how to get in, do what we need to do and not get emotional when mums blood sugars are off the scale.
Im a type 2 diabetic with oral medication, but I do not have a blood sugar reader. I have asked several times for one but am told that the wee strips are adequate enough for the job. Since, Ive finally admitted and taken ownership of my diabetes, I've got good control of my blood sugars and hardly go over 1.8. Our diabetic nurse retired and there has been a big role changing at the doctors I go to, on Tuesday I am going to see the big cheese. so will ask again about having a blood monitor.

I really appreciate your replies and input so far, but please keep it coming. I really do not want to wain or loose my new found freedom so any other suggestions or pass on what you do in a crisis, will still be gratefully accepted.

 

[Kwaka1]

Hi Queenbee,
You've made an enormous step towards helping yourself just by joining this forum, probably bigger than you realise.
Welcome, and I hope that all goes well for you.🙂

 

[Jimbo]

🙂Does this sound familiar to you? Comfort eating. At the slightest sign of stress you reach for something you know you should not eat. Cravings for sweet things, even things you do not necessarily enjoy or normally eat. Feelings of loathsome guilt and annoyance at not being able to control that Demon that sits on your shoulder and comes up with all manner of good reasons why you should eat more than you know you should or that it's ok to have another biscuit.
Do you dread your three monthly visit to the diabetic nurse because you know you are going to get bollocked for your HBA1c's being too high. Does this sound familiar to you?

I have deleted the purely personal stuff you wrote to concentrate on the part which spoke to me, the main message as it were.
I feel like I am a rubbish food junkie, what you have written, could have been written about or for me.
I wish I had your strength and motivation, I should have as, I am in the same situation, I NEED to get my diabetes under control. When I was first diagnosed I was keeping my Hba1c numbers in the low sixes, I couldn't get them into the high fives where I wanted to be and after a couple of years I began to loose heart, I was a regular on the forums until I got to the stage of being unable to post or take part in any discussions through sheer embarrassment. I let my numbers go through the roof (from my point of view) until everything is now too high, my Hba1c is sitting at 7.3 my cholesterol is 4.8 mol the Doc tells me that my glucose has risen from 10 to 14, I don't know what this means but I know it's bad because now I have to go on metformin 500g.
The worst part is if I had continued to managed my D better I would still be on diet and exercise, but I discovered Cadbury's Boost and Twirls which I am addicted too. I gave up smoking 20 years ago but cannot seem to find the strength to give up on all the rubbish which calls my name every time I am in or passing by a shop, when I am sad or upset I eat, when I am bored I eat. When I am depressed I eat, and that to me seems to be all the time and I can't get my head around it.
I have been ill with a chest infection for the last month and have not been able to get out for my evening walks which used to help because they kept me away from food. The ironic thing is that because I am not being good I am losing weight, my body is eating itself, for the first time in nearly 3 years I am down to fourteen and a half stone, which is good but, bad too, as it's for all the wrong reasons.
I admire your grit and determination enormously, they will make you succeed in your goals. Your Mum is lucky to have two such caring daughters, just remember to continue to care for yourself too.