Losing the will to live

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Munjeeta

Munjeeta

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
I'm struggling. I'm doing all the right things, taking all the positive steps but nothing is working, or nothing works for long. I've been trying for SO long nowafter my uni blip, but I'm just not getting anywhere.

Recently my blood sugars have just shot up. I have increased my levemir by 8 units, over doubled my mealtime ratos but nothing is working, I'm still high, most of the time. Back to school today too. It all just feels totally unmanageable and I just feel like dissolving in a puddle of tears. It's my 15 year anniversary of diabetes this year. It's getting to the point where uncontrolled blood sugars are going to start seriously affecting me. But it's not like I'm not trying :( I don't know what to do.
 
*hugs*

I really don't know what to say - you're doing all the right things. Hopefully this is just a bad patch, and it'll come out right, but I don't want to give you false comfort.

I forget whether or not you're on a pump, hon, but maybe that might be something to look at? From what I hear, it does give you a finer level of control?

*hugs again*
 
Sorry to hear it's not working out right for you at the moment.

With this sudden increase in insulin could there be a problem with your insulin, has it been from different boxes?
What is the post DAFNE follow up like at your hospital? Can you talk things through with your DSN? I also remember you saying about a pump before, is that still on the cards?

Seems like you could do with some emotional support even if you're control issue can't be immediatly solved.
 
sorry you're having such a hard time with it hun *massive huge hugs*. Constant highs can be totally draining I know, it's really hard work. But you're doing all the right things with it. Do you think you could be coming down with something? Maybe that's why the bloods have shot up?

If not, have you thought about a pump? Due to pretty much the same problems I'm thinking of getting one. It might help.

*hugs*
 
Munjeeta, I'm so sorry to hear that things still aren't going well - I know how hard you've been trying, my dear. I think the best thing you can do is write everything down and se if there's some sort of pattern. Is there some factor by which you think you might need to increase ALL your ratios by? Are things worse at certain times of the day? I know you said in the past that you are affected by your activity levels - have these been curtailed with the bad weather? You could also be being affected by the extra stresses this is causing, on top of the stresses of the season.

Get as much info as you can and go and have a good old chiwag with your DSN. Hope things settle down soon.
 
Munjeeta said:
I'm struggling. I'm doing all the right things, taking all the positive steps but nothing is working, or nothing works for long. I've been trying for SO long nowafter my uni blip, but I'm just not getting anywhere.

Recently my blood sugars have just shot up. I have increased my levemir by 8 units, over doubled my mealtime ratos but nothing is working, I'm still high, most of the time. Back to school today too. It all just feels totally unmanageable and I just feel like dissolving in a puddle of tears. It's my 15 year anniversary of diabetes this year. It's getting to the point where uncontrolled blood sugars are going to start seriously affecting me. But it's not like I'm not trying :( I don't know what to do.
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hi , in short i have had that same problems for years and to be honest , im still battling with it now , i was diagnosed at 7 yrs old and im now 27 , i feel for you as i knaow how it feels.....kinda like a death sentance , you try so hard and get nowhere and its soul destroying , i have the beginings of neropathy in my feet and my little finger and one next to it dont have much feeling , kinda numb like ive slept on my hand funny , all due to control :( on the upside its also a state of mind thing , i had a really big scare with dka last year blood sugar levels were off the chart , was rushed to a+e where they set up a sliding scale ( pig regime ) all on a busy fri night ( a+e full of drunk teenagers) any way long story short the nurse that set up the pig regime had not connected up properly and me being so out of it and on my own didnt notice that the insulin part of it was dripping on to the floor while i was being pumped full of fluids and glucose (making me worse ) the only reason i survived was because my mother (who is a nurse) came in to start her shift at 6am came to see me and noticed and sorted it all out , i was literally dying , any way i vowed from that point onwards that i was gonna take this diabetes by the neck and control it for my family and friends my children and for me and it is still a struggle and its all i seem to do these days and i seem to have to put so much effort and time into it but im getting there and my hba1c is coming down , the moral is i suppose just keep trying try and try and find the advice and methods that suit you coz we are all different and have diff lifestyles , its trial and error , note the mistakes and problems and find a different route/insulin/regime/diet etc etc you will find yourmethod and it will work it just souds like you havent found it yet *hugs*
 
hugs aswell..i cannot really emphaise being T2 but.....stick in there girl! there is lots of support here ...good luck with chat to DSN xxxx
 
Thank you people 🙂 I'm sure there must be reasons for the highs... It's possible it was just because I was sitting on my bum more during the holidays. But that's what gets me, every holiday it seems to be different. And every time I go back to school it feels like I have to redecide my ratios all over again, trying the ratios that sort-of worked at the end of the term before don't seem to work at the start of a new term. There are so many variables to consider... At work I'm busier, which should lower my levels, but more stressed, which increases them. At home I'm less busy but also less stressed. Although this holiday I don't seem to have shaken that stressed feeling; partly to do with school but partly because I'm actually feeling stressed about my diabetes too...

Thank you for all your thoughts. They're appreciated so much. I am hopefully going to discuss the option of going on a pump with my doctor later this month. I am worried about injection sites though, which is another factor, my thighs seem to be getting lumpy, even though I am trying so hard to find new places.

How do I get myself out of this negative frame of mind?! I totally agree that it's about mindset, but it all just feels like too much and I don't know how to buck myself up to feel more positive about it. I am off school today because of the snow so I think I will ring my DSN. I'm supposed to be going into the hospital tomorrow to be attached to a CGM for a few days, so fingers crossed the snow won't prevent that!
 
Munjeeta

Sorry to here your having a crap time, hope something works soon, defo have a chinwag with nursey, if you can try and write stuff down so you can try and understand the difference between a working day and an at home day.

Try and stick with it, good luck, and try and enjoy the snow.

Rossi🙂

PS Go make a snow man that might cheer you up for a bit ?
 
Hi Munjeeta, even though you are feeling negative about it all, you are taking positive steps to try and solve the issues which takes a real strength of will and determination. Hopefully, telling the DSN all that you have told us will help you work out the root elements that you need to consider for all the different scenarios you describe - you can sometimes become completely overwhelmed by the seeming complexity of it all and lose sight of the best places to start.

A CGM sounds like an excellent idea. It may be that your basal is inadequate in some sitiations - when you are less active, for example, and it may be that the best solution would be a pump so you can program various basals to address this. One or even two basal injections a day is a pretty crude approach in comparison to what a healthy pancreas or (mostly!) a pump can achieve.

Wishing you all the best - have a non-BG-altering treat, you deserve it!🙂
 
Hi Munjeeta, sorry you are feeling so rotten, I hope you feel better soon. Keep a diary and write things down to see if it highlights a pattern. Do you feel worse when it is cold and dark? Many people feel worse in the winter months. Have a chat to medical team and see what they can sugget.

If I lived nearer, I'd give you a big hug and let you have a good cry. Thibgs feel better after a good bawl and the stamping of feet.
 
Caroline is right keep a detailed diary, I did this when I had my CGMS and it really helped when analysing the results. I could see on the graphs that I was high one evening and checking on my diary it was after eating McDonalds.

There may be a counsellor or psychologist attatched to your diabetes team, might be worth asking if it's an option.
 
You have identified all the things that can affect sugar levels and unfortunately it is something we all have to contend with - sometimes they seem like a blip and easy to deal with and other times like a huge battle - I am going through a rubbish patch at the mo - and I am always positive - so it happens to the best of us! The other thing to bear in mind as well as activity/stress etc is the weather - insulin takes longer to act the colder it is and it is pretty cold at the mo! I definitely would look at your basal rate too. Like other advice - records for a week - and then see doc/DSN nurse - if you trust them! (Sorry had to put that - I have a fab DSN - but I know a lot of them are awful!).
Best I can say is that we are here and thank goodness you are taking such care of yourself - battle on hon xx
 
I'd agree with some of the other posters above - when things go completely out of goose, I go back to first principals and log everything for a week or so to see if I can track down a pattern that explains why things are going wrong.

I find doing something positive like that also helps with the general blues that goes hand in hand with constantly high levels. Good luck!
 
Munjeeta,

Sorry to hear how you're feeling.

<<<Big hug>>> from me.

The only thing I know about unexpected raised BG is an infection or illness is on it's way. Have a word with your DSN. There could be a really simple answer to this for you.

Take care.
 
Hi Munjeeta I can only hope your feeling a little better today I cant really say much as im type 2 but never forget we will be here for you through the trials and tribulations of D xx
 
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