Just trying to understand...

[Confused.com]

My partner has type 2, diagnosed approx 10 yrs ago. He has medication which he takes sporadically, drinks, eats what he wants including lots of beer, sugary doughnuts cakes and sweets. He takes no blood tests and works on the basis that as he feels fit and well whether he takes the tablets or not and whether he eats carbs and sugar or not, is not concerned.
I know very little about diabetes (we have only recently met) but cannot think that what he thinks is right or that what he does will be without consequence. So a quick question or two please.
1. Is this like high blood pressure where you don't particularly suffer any symptoms or side effects but the damage is still taking place and you will eventually have that heart attack, stroke or vascular dementia?
2. If he continues like this, whats the likely outcome. Sight loss, foot loss, coma, death?
3. Could he have been misdiagnosed in the beginning. He is bad at attending GP appointments and only goes when the GP refuses to prescribe more meds...confused or what?

 

[Drummer]

It is not all that unusual for people to take the tablets and - because they are used to high blood sugars just go on in the same way.
It can be quite a shock to the system to treat diabetes seriously lower the blood glucose and feel lightheaded or wobbly until the brain adjusts back to what is safe.
The high blood glucose does cause damage, poor healing, infections can get out of control, but it can be a long slow process.
Some people are diagnosed, take action and their diabetes becomes insignificant - I am probably one of them, and there are people who are diagnosed during a particularly stressful part of their lives, or when they have other illnesses, but it is not common for diabetes to spontaneously resolve itself.
Does the doctor insist on blood tests being done? If you can find out your partners Hba1c level it will indicate his blood glucose levels over the last 3 months, which might give you some idea of just how good or bad things are.

 

[Confused.com]

It is not all that unusual for people to take the tablets and - because they are used to high blood sugars just go on in the same way.
It can be quite a shock to the system to treat diabetes seriously lower the blood glucose and feel lightheaded or wobbly until the brain adjusts back to what is safe.
The high blood glucose does cause damage, poor healing, infections can get out of control, but it can be a long slow process.
Some people are diagnosed, take action and their diabetes becomes insignificant - I am probably one of them, and there are people who are diagnosed during a particularly stressful part of their lives, or when they have other illnesses, but it is not common for diabetes to spontaneously resolve itself.
Does the doctor insist on blood tests being done? If you can find out your partners Hba1c level it will indicate his blood glucose levels over the last 3 months, which might give you some idea of just how good or bad things are.

Thank you so much for your reply.
His GP has sent him for blood tests but he is procrastinating and hasn't made an appointment yet. I feel he's waiting for a crisis to really do anything really constructive about it. Consequently I'm trying to learn as much as I can to try and encourage a healthier life style. I'm not sure a direct approach would achieve much at present but I will try and get that reading. Thanks again.

 

[Drummer]

A lucky type two can reduce their blood glucose to normal by avoiding carbs - I ate no more than 50 gm of carbs a day to do that, but it was worth it to have no need of medication.
You could try making lower carb meals, substituting for sugar and starches.

 

[Andy12345]

Hi, Well done you for trying to help him.

I don't want to be blunt but the complications that can occur due to uncontrolled diabetes are permanent and nasty, if his sugars are high, there is a very very good chance you will be caring for a disabled partner in the future which is pretty selfish of him imho as it is completely avoidable, sorry.

Not sure how you fix denial but I wish you luck (or a speedy exit)

 

[Maz2]

Hi. It is important that he tries to take control of his blood sugars but I understand it is not easy for people as these days we live in a 24/7 society with all sorts of lousy food on tap for us whenever we want.

When I was diagnosed pre-diabetic, got it back to normal and now gone up again, I took lots of advice from here and cut down my carbs to moderate levels rather than high. I actually found I enjoyed my food more. Before I changed my diet I was always hungry and wondered how long I had to wait for the next meal. I did not keep eating but wanted to. Now I hardly ever feel hungry. I think if you have a very carby sugary diet it is like a wheel going round and round in that the more carbs and sugar you eat the more you want as they cause the sugar levels to do drastic highs and lows and so make you feel constantly hungry,.

It is not easy and I think the younger you are the worse it probably is as you don't want restrictions when you are young. I am 65 and expect to have to be a bit more careful with what I eat and do now as my body cannot be expected to work like it did when I was younger.

 

[zuludog]

Well, where to start?

Your partner is being very stupid, selfish, and stubborn. That's the polite version, I'm not going to write what I would really like as I have no wish to be banned by the moderators

It's obvious that's the position he's in, and yes, the word you're looking for is 'in denial' - hoping that if he ignores something it will go away. No-one here wants to have diabetes, but we're stuck with it, and the best we can do is to learn to live with it.
There is a lot of advice and information available for managing diabetes, mostly about changing your diet, but also on medication, exercise, and all sorts of things
If you follow that advice you can live well enough. It's not easy, but it can be done

However, as you have guessed, rather like smoking and high blood pressure, diabetes comes on slowly, and it take years before you get serious complications like blindness, kidney damage, and foot amputations, so you can get away with denial for a long time
But well before that you get other indications (thirst, tiredness and so on). If you take action then, you can prevent the more serious problems happening
Most of the discussions on this forum are about following the advice in one way or another; if he refuses to take that advice then he has a serious problem, and it's very difficult to make him accept that
I suspect that you, and others, have tried explaining, persuading, arguing, and shouting without much success; in fact it may well have made him dig his heels in even more
I'm afraid I don't really know how to deal with that. Just as smokers know about cancer and see the pictures & warnings on the packets, that's beyond me.

I suggest you contact the Diabetes UK Careline, 0345 123 2399. They are very helpful and patient, and will have met this problem before
Also, Search the Net and YouTube for 'diabetes denial'; there are several references.

Finally, as Andy 12345 has said, think of yourself. When (note, not if, but when) he starts to go blind or loses a foot he'll need nursing, and you can guess who he would expect that to be
If you've only recently met him you might seriously consider getting out while the going's good. If you threaten that, it might just make him accept things and change

Let is know how you get on

 

[zuludog]

Hmmmm........ I've just had a thought; I do that sometimes!

If your partner is consuming a lot of beer, cakes, and doughnuts, what weight is he?
This would bring on two related problems - obviously lots of sugary things are bad for diabetes, but being overweight is also bad, whether or not you have diabetes

We can't all be ultrathin, superfit athletes, but we can do as much as we can to cut out junk food
Surely there is enough information & warnings about that from TV programmes, leaflets, newspaper articles, and so on?

In fact a diet for diabetes and a diet for generally healthy living are near as dammit the same . Do you think that approach might work?
I've just seen a good comment in another thread - 'diabetes doesn't come on its own'
There are several problems that are all related - diabetes, blood pressure, cardiovascular - so sorting one will help the others

 

[Madeline]

It certainly doesn’t, consultant I saw yesterday thinks I have neuropathy already (something glove?) and it has definitely affected my eyesight. And I’ve only just been diagnosed. If he’s been living with it for years, there could be loads he’s not confessing to