Just an Hello!

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Brysie

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Relationship to Diabetes
Hiya

New joiner.

Husband of wife with T1. She's had it for 40 years+ and is generally very good at controlling it.

I feel for her and try and help with diet and sensible eating.

But I am really fed up with her mood swings and being blamed for just about everything.

I think her DB has made her into a control freak.

Whilst she just might be like that anyway I suspect it is to do with the DB. Often after a row her sugars will be low.

I joined as I am looking for some help from DB sufferers on how best to cope with someone who has DB. Please!

Many thanks

Brysie
 
Hi Brysie and welcome to the forum 🙂

I assume by DB you mean type 1 diabetes? Just checking in case it's an acronym for something else!

I am a parent of a type 1 child/almost teenager, and it can be tricky to know sometimes if he is grumpy because his levels are a bit high/low or just because of teenage moodiness. Equally, if your wife is a lady of a certain age, maybe hormones contribute to her mood swings too? I do know that my son gets annoyed at my tendency to suspect a hypo whenever he is a bit cross about something!

I also think that to manage one's diabetes successfully (or for a parent to manage their child's D), you almost do need to be a bit of a control freak, or at least very self-disciplined - I own up to being a control freak myself 😉

I imagine it's quite hard for an adult who has lived with type 1 for many years to "share" this with their other half - I guess you need to strike a balance between supporting and dictating/interfering (or giving that impression). I'm sure your wife appreciates your sympathising with her, but do remember that diabetes is just a small part of her life, despite the relentless hard work involved. 🙂
 
Hi Redkite

Yes, she has type 1 diabetes.

We've only been together for 7 years so I haven't lived with diabetes for as long as she has!

Thanks for you welcome and thoughts - much appreciated.
 
Hi Brysie, welcome to the forum 🙂 I think that, to a non-diabetic, a person with diabetes might appear to be a bit of a 'control freak', but what you need to imagine is that a very important and finely-tuned physical process does not work for people with Type 1 - they do not produce any insulin in response to rises in blood sugar (as I am sure you know). In a non-diabetic person, this process is invisible and constant, with every tiny fluctuation being automatically controlled. For us, it can be like walking a tightrope juggling knives, trying to keep blood sugar levels within a very tight range! 😱

Fluctuating levels can cause mood changes, and can als have many other subtle effects. It can be difficult for a person with diabetes to listen to 'helpful' suggestions from others who do not really understand it - however well-intentioned, but as long as you appreciate the difficulties and complexities then hopefully your sympathy would be accepted. 🙂
 
Hi
I have been T1 for 54 years and I know I'm a control freak about it because it's my health. I've been with my partner for 12 years and he still finds it hard to cope with the mood swings I have when BG too high or too low. So you're not alone. It must be hard for our partners because they can't fully understand the complexities of the condition without a lot of learning. One thing I have told my partner is that he should not take my grumpiness personally and he now knows that when the high or low is corrected I return to my normal sweet self (well, something like that)! 🙂
 
Brysie hi and a warm welcome to the forum
 
Hi

Thanks for all your welcomes and thoughts.

i understand that a diabetic needs to worry about their health, but partners have their own health to worry out too!

One minute I can be talking to a normal calm sane person, the next I'm up to my ears in a world of pain.

It's tough being diabetic - it's tough being a partner.

I'll keep looking out for tips on how to be a better partner as well as keeping my sanity and relationship.

Thanks all.

Brysie
 
Welcome to the forum Brysie 🙂

Suggestions how to be a better partner?

"try and help with diet and sensible eating." - Do watch out that the general "opinion" about diabetic diet is pretty wrong. Do you understand the relationship between carbohydrates (not just sugars) and blood glucose levels?

I lived with my diabetic father for 10 years (still alive, in case you wondered) and until I was diagnosed as well I wasn't aware of just how wrong some of the things I understood was.

If you have every used or been tempted to use the phrase "You can't eat that your a diabetic" you might want to learn to stuff a sock in it :D😛
 
Hi Mark

Thanks for your welcome.

Well, yes I do think that I understand the relationship and as I said in my introduction, my wife is very good at controlling her condition. She knows about her food intake and what she can and cannot have. I do most of the food shopping and cooking and am careful in what I serve up. it usually meets with her approval and we talk about it often. After 40 years of it she should know what she is talking about!

So I don't think our issue is one of what is or isn't eaten!

It is when her sugars get low (exercise, tiredness etc etc) and when mood swing kicks in is when I bear the brunt of it and it is this that is wearing me down.

I don't think I've ever used your phrase so can keep my socks on my feet!!!

Cheers!

B
 
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